Sienna Miller

I'm a little disappointed with Sienna Miller for keeping Balthazar Getty's salchicha around this long. But it looks like he's still making her chocha sing, because they were spotted together in Malibu yesterday. You know Sienna even had to buy that shit for herself! I don't get it. The dude has issues and he might not even inherit anything from the Getty fortune!? Seriously, he must have "slap yo momma" dick.

And why does this twat need to buy clothes? She never wears any!

Sienna Miller's friends say that her bulldozer of a vagina did not wreck Balthazar Getty's home. Yes, we've heard this all before. They said she would have never started dating him if he was still with his wife, Rosetta.

When they first met, Balthazar had already split with Rosetta and he was sleeping on friends' couches. Her friends told Page Six that the two dirty sluts are living together in Los Angeles and everyone knows about them. His family knows. Her family knows. There aren't any secrets. Balthazar is only talking to his wife because he wants to see his kids.

One of her friends said, "It's just annoying that all this misinformation is out there. He should've announced his separation a lot earlier than he did - she was always told he was separated. There's no way she would ever get involved with another married man after Jude Law."

The Sun claims Sienna and Balthazar are shacking up at the Chateau Marmont, only a couple of miles from Rosetta and the children. Some nosy ho spotted Sienna screaming on the phone to someone about Balthazar. Nosy ho said, “She looked ragged. Her hair was a mess and she was chain-smoking. She was arguing on the phone, talking about her and Balthazar being caught together in Italy.”

Ragged? Messy hair? Chain-smoking? Was it cackling? Could've been a Trollsen.

And I wish Sienna would just stop with all the bullshit claims that she didn't know anything! She needs to shout from the hills, "I'm a slut. I can't help it. I go where my vagina takes me!"

Here's Sienna and her smilin' snatch walking the streets of Beverly Hills.

You can't keep a good homewrecker down for long! Sienna Miller has wrapped her vagina lips around Balthazar Getty and she's not letting go. Balthazar reportedly went back to his wifey this past weekend to try and work things out for the sake of the kids. A "heartbroken" Sienna fled to the Caribbean to find comfort in the arms of her daddy. Yeah, right. She just went to get some of the "good shit" you can only find in the Caribbean.

Things are back to normal for the two skanks. They were spotted kissing outside of a Ralph's grocery store in Malibu, CA on Sunday afternoon. Some nosy bitch said Sienna was waiting for him in a car. Balthazar peddled up on a bike and the two kissed. The source told The Sun, “He looked nervy and rode off. He came back later but it was like something out of a Carry On film.”

Sienna loves this dramatic shit. She probably creams her panties every time she calls his house and his wife answers. She breaths all heavy into the phone and his wife says, "Who is this?! Say something you stupid whore! I know it's you! Never call her again!" Sienna jacks off to that shit.

Sienna should just call my mom instead. For some reason, my mom says that same thing to me every time I call her. She even says it when I say "Mom! It's me!" Yeah, I don't know what her problem is.

Yeah, I don't believe it. Sienna Miller is like me. We don't have hearts, we have genitals. Our genitals get sad, but our hearts don't. Unless, we watch a melancholy and touching movie involving talking animals. That's a different story. Anywhore, the Daily Mail reports that "heartbroken" Sienna escaped to the Virgin Islands to be with her daddy (her real daddy) after Balthazar Getty flew to Los Angeles to be with his wife and family.

Balthazar is apparently trying to make his marriage work for the sake of his 4 children. His wife, Rosetta, is also interested and agreed to talk to him over the weekend. Rosetta probably took a long, hard look at the prenup and realized she was better off being married to his skeezy ass. A source said, "He was on the phone to Rosetta on and off for two hours, crying and constantly calling and she finally agreed to let him back in the house. In his mind he has definitely dropped Sienna but he's in a very confused state at the moment. His biggest fear is losing his kids."

He can't drop Sienna. She drops him. That's how it works. Besides, he's probably vaginatized.

He told photographers outside of his home, "I can’t comment. When I’m ready, I’ll issue a statement. It’s because of the children." The children! The children! He obviously wasn't thinking of the children when he had his lips on Sienna's skank nipples.

Sienna has apparently been frantically calling and texting Balthazar. A source said she's also going to fly to Los Angeles to try and win him back. No...No...No.... Sienna, don't do that shit. You've had the dick, you've got the cum stains to prove it and now it's to move the fuck on. Besides, Balthazar may never see his share of the Getty fortune. What is the fucking point? Get yourself some dick that pays in the end. Well, "pays in the end" in more ways than one.

Earlier this week, Balthazar Getty stated the obvious by announcing he has split up with his wifey after he was caught being slutty with Sienna Miller. TMZ reports that Balthazar has been e-mailing with estranged wifey, Rosetta, and saying shit like, "I love you." Sienna probably already dumped his ass. Married men aren't fun anymore when their separated from their wives. Kind of kills the thrill. Hollywood wives better put a dick belt on their husbands because Sienna is cumming for them!

A source claims that even though Balthazar's pepaw is a billionaire, he hasn't seen any of the family money. Rosetta supported his ass until he got the "Brothers & Sisters" job.

What is the point of being married to a Getty if you're not bathing in $100 bills every night? I mean, Balthazar is hot and everything, but he looks like he has an "innie" and I'm not talking about his belly button.

Rosetta better not take his skeezer ass back! Instead, she should make him think that if he does a bunch of shit for her, she'll take him back. She should make him videotape himself shutting a desk drawer on his peen. Or make him use his urethra as a mouth to say, "My name is Little Balthazar and I am stupid, fugly, piece of trash who ruins lives." I do that shit in the bathtub when I'm bored. Don't judge!

Sienna Miller plays a hippie in her new movie "Hippie Hippie Shake" and she shot a nude scene for it, but there seems to be a little problem. Sienna is like a baby down there and that doesn't really fit with the whole "free love" 60s vibe. They didn't want to use a merkin because her chocha would've ate it, so they decided to add a coochie bush in post production.

A source told the Mirror, "A merkin or pubic wig simply wouldn't have done the trick, but luckily computer wizardry came to the rescue. Sienna's private parts were digitally enhanced, giving her a rather unruly, loud and proud bush."

I feel sorry for the poor bitch who had to spend hours looking at Sienna's bare punane. The poor bitch probably got gonorrhea in the eye just from staring at it so long. And yes, you can get gonorrhea in the eye. I know this for a fact......um.....because one of my friends had it......uh huh....

Sienna Miller has filed a lawsuit against Big Pictures, The Sun and The News of the World for publishing pictures of her with her titties out in the open. The lawsuit, filed today in London, claims her privacy was violated. Sienna may have a vagina like a boxing glove, but she ain't too swift in the brains department. If you don't want anyone to see you cavorting around topless with your married boyfriend, then get a fucking room.

Sienna has a history of suing bitches over nude photos. This past December, The Sun and TNOTW paid her skanky ass almost $80,000 for publishing nudies of her.

I'll admit it. I love Sienna Miller because immoral sluts need to stick together. I know, you can slap me in the teeth later. As much as I adore her slutty ways, this lawsuit is lame. Besides, they're just chichis. Chichis that we've already seen!

Image: Mr. Paparazzi

Balthazar Getty wants you to know that he has split up from his wife of 8 years. You know, just in case you didn't figure it out for yourself after seeing pictures of him groping Sienna Miller's slut sacks (NSFW).

Balthazar issued this statement:

"Herro. My name is Balthazar and I'm a dumb, cheating whorebag who purses his lips in every stupid picture he takes."

No, this is what he really said:

"The breakdown of a marriage is a very difficult and painful experience especially when children are involved. In light of the fact that many pictures have surfaced in print and on the Internet which has caused myself and my family great embarrassment, I felt it necessary to at least acknowledge publicly that yes indeed my wife and I have separated and I will not be commenting any further."

Maybe he should've thought about that before he frolicked out in the open like a horny puppy. Wait, do puppies even get horny? That didn't sound right. Pupophilia is wrong.

Anyway, why couldn't Balthazar act like a normal person and keep his affair behind closed doors (aka the local Motel 6)? And Balthazar (I like writing his name) left his wife for the wrong slut. Sienna Miller is going to move on to the next dick before he can say "syphilis."

Source: People

Isn't this a lovely sight? Topless Sienna Miller kissing her new married boyfriend Balthazar Getty. Yes, that's his wifey's name, Rosetta, tattooed over his heart. I know you want to blame skanky Sienna, but she's not the one who's married with 4 kids. I mean, his youngest kid is not even a year old!

Sienna's vagina can't help it! Besides, we've all done sexy times with married men at one point or another, right? It's one of the final initiations into the "Slut Bags With No Morals Club."

The Sun has a few pictures of Sienna and Balthazar "canoodling" and kissing while on vacation in Italy. These dumb sluts seriously don't give a fuck. Sienna's vagina needs major therapy, because it obviously has major issues. And if Balthazar wasn't such a slimy skeeze, I'd hit it. I'm lying. I'd hit it anyway.

Sienna Miller's got a lightning fast vagina. It wastes no time in finding another peen to keep it warm. It seemed like it was only minutes ago that Sienna dumped that Rhys Ifans dude and she's already linked to another dude. And that other dude is married! Hey, a dick is a dick to Sienna. Even if the dick has a wedding ring, she doesn't care. Actually, she might like that even more.

Sienna has reportedly been doing sexy times with Balthazar Getty. He's married with 4 kids, the youngest born last October. Sienna and Balthazar met through his "Brothers and Sisters" co-star Matthew Rhys. Balthazar is also an heir to the Getty Oil fortune.

A source told The News of the World that they are trying to keep their affair quiet, because...well....you know. The source said, "They daren't go out together, so they spend most of their time inside. When they do leave, they go separately."

Balthazar's wifey apparently left their home in Los Angeles, taking their kids with her, after she heard about his affair with Sienna.

About a month ago, a reader wrote me and said she had dinner next to Sienna and Balthazar in Prague. She said they were "making out" and talked about "how they were so into each other." She sent me a few shots of them saying goodbye. The dog is obviously ashamed for Sienna. That poor bitch doesn't want to be associated with homewrecking trash like Sienna!

And Balthazar is a major dumb fuck for messing with his money like that. Hopefully, his wifey takes everything, even that stupid ass hat, and leaves him broke. It upsets me when people screw with money like that. Money first, orgasms second.