Ashlee Simpson

Asshole Simpson's new album cover is definitely a major contender for the fugliest of the year. The label probably sat around and said, "How the hell can we distract from this annoying slag's fugly face? I have an idea! Let's find the ugliest font we can find. Maybe two fugs can make a right."

That font should only be allowed on the cover of a Schoolhouse Rock album and nowhere else.

It looks like an avatar one of her two fans would make using MSPaint while on a NyQuil high. Seriously, her fans probably think a NyQuil high is hardcore.

I shouldn't say Papa Joe approved, because if he had his way she would be in a bikini, sucking on a lollipop and clutching her "My Heart Belongs To Papa Joe" pillow.

Source VIA ONTD

Asshole Simpson was on Washington DC's Hot 99.5 Kane in the Morning show today and homegirl sounded out of it. She was either drunk, stoned or she was suffering from dick high. Asshole giggled the entire time and admitted she got a tattoo that morning. When they asked if it was a rose, she said, "No it's a peoooonieeeeee."

She also tried to explain her new song and she needed to be slap. She said, "The best line in the song is uh...you know...the come over line....uh...um...it's pretty genius...it's um...i'm not over it so come over...um....pretty genius....the girl kind of thing.....um....ehehehehehehe" Lay off the bong in the morning, Ass!

Her rep denies she was drunk and blames it on being tired, “Ashlee was absolutely not intoxicated this morning on Hot 99.5. She has been working extremely hard traveling across the country to promote her upcoming new album by performing at night and waking up very early the next day to do radio interviews in the morning - like any of us would be - she was simply just tired.”

I'm surprised he didn't blame it on acid reflux. Bitch isn't tired, she's just stupid.

Papa Joe needs to get her to lip-synch her interviews as well. She can't handle it.

Click here to listen if you want, but it's pretty annoying

Thanks Angela

Ashlee Simpson was on The Fuse yesterday where she denied she's pregnant and engaged. Papa Joe would never have it! Ashlee said that she is "promised" to be Pete Wentz and has the ring to prove it. She said, "It just means that he hasn't asked my dad yet..."

I think she's lying. She's totally wearing one of those commitment rings creepy fathers give their daughters at the Purity Ball. She's promised to daddy forever. Besides, you should not wear promise rings after the age of 14. I bet they make friendship bracelets for each other too. Oh shit! Do you remember making friendship bracelets? I think I majored in that in grade school.

Here's Asshole and Pete in NYC the other night. They should really buy stock in Big Sexy Hair Straightening Balm.

Asshole Simpson performed at LAX last night and brought Pete Wentz along, because they are joined at the flat-ironed head. Yeah, she performed. She's still doing that music thing even though everybody has basically turned her off. You can't keep a no-talent fug down! Papa Joe is persistent.

Asshole and Pete are really growing on me as a couple like a bad corn on my big toe. A couple that flat irons together, stays together. They look like all they do is giggle like two Japanese school girls. They only giggle, because they basically have nothing to say to each other. That's the recipe of a wonderful relationship.

Now I have to go rest up for the 10-hour Oscar telecast.

Asshole Simpson isn't so bad on the outside now that she's gotten done up from the floor up. The new red hair does her some good. It goes nicely with her fake nose and tits. I'm surprised she hasn't taken that chin in yet. Well, if you're going to get some work, you might as well get the works.

Here's Ass with flat-ironed Pete at the Cloverfield premiere last night.

Asshole Simpson has a new video for her single "Outta My Head (Ay Ya Ya)." Seriously, that's the title. The video is probably something Gwen Stefani would make if she had no money, no talent, a lot of free time, a couple of camcorders and a friend that knows iMovie really well. Basically, it sucks and now I can't get that wretched song outta my...outta my....FUCK!