Ashlee Simpson

 

Ashlee Simpson needs to drop into Dr. 90210's office or whoever did her nose job and get a redo. That thing is dropping fast and will cover her mouth soon. Actually, maybe that's not such a bad thing. It will keep her beak shut!

 

Jessica on the other hand should pursue a career in the NFL. She seriously would make a great linebacker! She used to be so hot and then she went and overprocessed herself! At least she kept her mouth shut most of the night....towards the end she had to let it slip just a little. She can't help it.

 

Here's Ass and Jess at the opening of Just Cavalli in NYC last night. 

 

 

 

 

 

All these celebutwits are starting to look the same. Asslee, Jessica, Mischa, Nicole, Cameron, Kiki, Drew, Fergie...they are all the same person! It's basically the ratty hair and that stupid ass straw fedora! You aren't a damn scarecrow! Yes, you scare small birds.....but that hate is not necessary!  

 

Here's Asslee at a Seventeen Magazine event at the Ken Paves salon yesterday. The Paves can do my hair anytime and by "my hair" I mean my pubic hair.  

 

 

 

 

 

At one of the gift suites for Lollapalooza in Chicago, Asshole Simpson and Pete Wentz refused to be photographed with a KY intimacy kit. The couple took the gift, but didn't want cameras anywhere near them.

 

A source said, "They were given KY Intimacy kits, but they wouldn't take photos with them."

 

 

Accordng to Popcrunch Asshlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are engaged and possibly knocked up! Yeah, chew on that one. Tastes like a deviated septum, eh? They claim Petey popped the question at Live Earth. How green of him.

 

The source said, “Ashlee wasn’t expecting it at all, it was a total surprise. Pete whipped out a big engagement ring, dropped down on one knee, and asked Ashlee to be his bride. Ashlee says it was romantic, sexy — and that she said yes right away.”

 

This source said they want to keep it a secret. They also said that her behavior at a recent family wedding has sparked rumors that she has a bun in the ovent.

 

The source said, “Ashlee may have helped start the rumours herself. She was at a family wedding and was wandering around rubbing her belly. And she refused to drink anything. She probably didn’t drink that night because her dad was around."

 

I'm going to say not true. Papa Joe would never ever let this happen.  I doubt these two even have sex. They are probably just into heavy petting 

 

VIA ONTD

 

 

 

Pete Wentz is so impressed with Ashlee Simpson's nose job that he wants one himself according to NM Magazine. A source close to Pete said, "Ashlee's turned out incredible, so she suggested Pete go to her doctor. As soon as his schedule slows down, he'll probably have a nose job."

 

His nose is fine. What he needs is yap wired shut. Ass's nose job was looking good, but now that shit is starting to fall. It's like an upside down mushroom.

 

Above is these two tools arriving at LAX yesterday. 

 

Source

 

 

For a very quick minute, I led my brain to believe that Ashlee Simpson was bringing on the sexy and hot. I think I've come to my sense, because she's no longer the sex beast I thought she was.

 

She should bump chins with Rumer Willis . That'd turn me on.

 

Here's our girl Ash celebrating the longest day of the year with Stride. Yeah. HA! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fall Out Boy played Chicago's Schubas this past weekend when a fight broke out after someone made fun of Douche Wentz's girlfriend, Ashlee Simpson.

 

Chicagoist reports that Pete Wentz decided to talk to a dude that kept making fun of his girl. The little chat ended up with a broken bottle over someone's head and a douche fist fight going down. Witnesses saw the dude on top of Pete on the ground. Sexy.

 

Cops arrived, Pete hit the road and it was history. Douche history!

 

I really hope there's video, because I'd love to see Pete's guyliner get smudged by a fist.

 

 

 

 

Pete Wentz, his girlfriend Asshole Simpson and her bodyguard celebrated Pete's 28th Barfday the other night at his bar "Angels and Kings" in the East Village. It was his barfday literally! During the party Pete escorted Asshole to the restroom where they cut in line, because they had to barf bad.

 

A witness reports they said, "We're going to puke. Seriously, we're both going to be really sick."

 

They were joking and cut in line and spent 10 minutes in the bathroom.  He was probably putting on his tenth layer of eyeliner.

 

Source

 

 

It's official. Ashlee Simpson is the hotter sister. How this happened, we'll never know. Ashlee's got a kick ass plastic surgeon while Chestica has Paves to thank for making her look like a fallen Las Vegas showgirl.

 

Ashlee is seen here at a Gala honoring Sumner Redstone last night. Yeah! Sumner Redstone! That sounds like a doozy. Chestica is seen here at the party for "My Blueberry Nights" in Cannes. 

 

 

 

 

Pete Wentz opened Angels & Kings in the East Village part of NYC last night. He calls it a new "neighborhood" spot and opened it with a bunch of other douches, because he was sick of the snobby Manhattan nightlife.

 

One of the other investors said, "This will be a place that anyone can go and have sex in the bathroom and not get in trouble."

 

Yeah, remind me to never use this bathroom. I really don't want to stick my hand on a puddle of Wentz/Simpson juice when I'm flushing the toilet.

 

Oh and Asshole Simpson is officially the hot Simpson. It's sad, but true.

 

 

Source: NME