Olsens
Sunday, September 9th 2007
Trolls Love Fashion
Ashley Olsen is doing the fashion rounds this week in NYC, because magical trolls must keep up on the latest. Yesterday she sat front row at the Warhol Factory X Levis X Damien Hirst show. That's a silly name.
The photographer seemed to suggest Ashley and the curious queer on her right had something going on. Please the gay alarm in my ass went off in high alert when I saw his ass. Methinks he's with the slug to his right.
Vincent Gallo was also there and I almost didn't mention him, because he's not worth mentioning. He just needs to crawl into the woods and begone!
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Tuesday, September 4th 2007
Summer Chills
This is what Ashley Olsen wore while shopping in NYC yesterday. It was fucking 80 degrees! Do magical trolls sweat! Bitch looks like she's freezing. This proves my theory that the Olsens are not human. Either that or super rich people can't be bothered with weather. They go from air conditioned SUV to air conditioned store to air conditioned restaurant to air conditioned house.
I bet she doesn't sweat at all and if she does it's gardenia scented. Well, trolls like gardenias!
Saturday, August 25th 2007
Precious Goods
You can't really tell from these pics, but apparently Mary-Kate Olsen was hit on the head with a camera as she entered Les Deux in Hollywood last night. She fell to the ground dropping money and other personal items. The smack apparently left a bruise that was attended to inside the club. Vodka works everytime! While leaving the club, MK covered up her forehead and her new bruise.
Who hit peanut head?! I'm surprised she didn't suffer a damn concussion. Her head must be the size of my thumbnail or those thumbnails below for that matter. We have to be good to our trolls! They are very important to this world. Who else is going to protect our bridges and shit?
Oh and what the hell is she wearing?! Slash from Guns 'N Roses called and wants his look back!
Tuesday, August 14th 2007
Don't Ewwww Me! I'd Get With Gandhi!
Mary-Kate Olsen is currently filming "The Wackness" in NYC opposite Ben Kingsley. Page Six reports that the 21-year-old MK and the 63-year-old Ben engage in a full make-out session. The scene was shot at a Greenpoint, Brooklyn bar.
The movie is about a drug dealer who trades marijuana for therapy sessions. Ben plays the therapist.
Ben is a hot piece of pepaw meat! I'd lick that mole on his head. MK making out with Ben doesn't gross me out. MK making out with ANYONE grosses me out. Magical trolls should not do sexy times. It's not right.
Monday, August 13th 2007
This One...Not So Much
While I declared Ashley Olsen's outfit (see below) the greatest thing since Mayo....Mary-Kate Olsen seemed to have wandered into the wrong homeless shelter. She is seriously the richest homeless person that ever lived.
I don't even think a shower can help her. I'm digging that frog bracelet though. It's probably a real frog that crawled on her to eat the bugs out of her hair, but then turned to stone when it looked into her eyes.
Monday, August 13th 2007
Insanely Hot
Those are the hottest boot-shoe-things I've ever seen! It sort of looks like leeches are crawling up her legs which is ridic since she doesn't have blood to suck! Ashley Olsen once again proved that she's one of the hottest trolls in all the land.
This bitch is not joking around.
Here's Ash looking slightly amused at the Hampton Social this past weekend. Those shoes are probably giving her gas.
Thursday, August 2nd 2007
I Hope She Can Act
Mary-Kate Olsen attended the premieres of "Weeds" and "Californication" last night. Mary-Kate joins the cast of "Weeds" as some Christian girl and love interest to one of the main characters.
I saw an interview the other night with MK and it was like an out of body experience. I forgot the Olsens talked! And when she did open her mouth, I expected a tiny, little elf voice. It wasn't that, so I'm curious to see her actually act in an adult role.
I am not happy with her overall premiere ensemble though. It's like Morticia Adams goes on vacation. Who does she think she is by pairing a cheap ass white t-shirt with a fancy skirt? Sharon Stone did it years ago darling and she did it better!
Wednesday, August 1st 2007
Doing What They Do Best
I haven't posted on these hot trolls in awhile. Basically because they are boring and all they do is shop all day and wear sunglasses. Oh and they are also good at surrounding themselves with men in suits. What do those men do?! Are they like bodyguards, because how the hell are they going to doge bullets in a damn suit?!
Here's Ashley and MK shopping at Maxfield's in West Hollywood yesterday. How many black panchos does one need? They are still the hottest bitches on this side.
Travelocity really needs to update their troll bitch with these two.
Saturday, June 30th 2007
De Puta Madre
Sucio! How can Ashley Olsen let that kind of filth near her precious being? De Puta Madre 69 is some clothing company and if you ask me it's a den of SIN! The Olsens are too precious and innocent to be around that. That's the devil's work! That being said, where can I buy that shirt?
Here's how Ash and MK spent their Friday. Ash went shopping and MK browsed a restaurant. They are still the hottest trolls on the block.
Thursday, June 28th 2007
MK And Ashley Let A Boy Come Between Them
According to Celebrity Babylon, Mary-Kate and Ashley are on the outs because of Mary-Kate's new dirty and greasy millionaire boyfriend, Max Snow. Ashley doesn't like him and thinks he's a bad influence and MK is a wuss around him and lets him make all the decisions. Sources also say that Ashley said Max has a bad temper and yells MK but says, 'He does that a lot --it blows over.'
Their career paths are different also, as MK is a regular on Weeds and Ashley is focusing on her clothing line. Could this be the seperation of our favorite two trolls? They will let some douche come between them? It can't be true. Then again it might be easier to start telling their asses apart!
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