Kate Hudson

The truth is I'm only posting this story, because I needed a reason to use this picture of Ahahahahaha-Rod after getting hit by a pitch last night. I don't think he's felt that much pain since he tried to finger bang Madonna's roidy cooze for the first time. Now on to the battle of the Yankees hos!

Page Six says that things aren't really unicorns and rainbows between A-Rod and fellow Yankee Derek Jeter, so it makes sense that their hate for each other has trickled down to their girlfriends. According to sources, Derek's lady Minka Kelly (of Friday Night Lights) and Kate Hudson aren't really holding hands in the stands (accidental rhyme!), "There's been visible coldness between Minka and Kate. I don't know if it's a personal thing, or just an extension of the ongoing A-Rod-Jeter rivalry. People are choosing sides."

I love that "people are choosing sides" quote. This is just like Footballers' Wives except a homelier version....and not as bitchy or glamorous. Okay, this is nothing like Footballers Wives. Because if it was, this is how Kate and Minka would have handled their little feud.

Seriously, this is how you do it. Kate and Minka are both amateurs! If Tanya Turner was involved, she would've fucked both of their boyfriends by now and been pregnant with TWINS (one baby for each man).

Kate Hudson has been a regular fixture at Yankee games for a little while now. Below are pictures of Kate with the other baseball players' girlfriends and also at a different game with Goldie and Kurt. It seems like shit is getting real between Kate and A-Roidy. It's getting so real that Kate is ready to have a roid baby with him.

A source tells InTouch Magazine, “She just turned 30 and she’s ready to have her second child. She wants Ryder to have a sibling, so she brought up the idea to Alex and told him that they would make a beautiful baby together, and that she would assume all financial responsibility." The source added that A-Roidy told her he's just not ready for another kid, but Kate is still pressing the issue.

Okay, Kate actually thinks they will make a "beautiful baby" together? Bitch really is dickmatized. With her dwarf-like features and his roidy sperm, their baby will look like this:

If that doesn't make Kate eat birth control pills by the hundreds, I don't know what will.

Apparently, Goldie Hawn thinks that her daughter Kate Hudson needs to stop bouncing on A-Rod's veiny roid stick. Goldie also thinks that Kate needs to stick some Fen Phen pills up her cooze, so it won't be as hongray for dick! Kate is not listening to her mother. She is obviously still busting vagina bombs all over A-Roid's dude tittays.

At a Yankees game on Friday night, Kate was front row cheering on A-Roid as he hit his 564th home run.

I'm actually a little surprised that these two twats are still together. Maybe it really true true love? Hah. And HAH. I'm also a little surprised that I've never really noticed that Kate looks like the bastard love child of Brit Brit and Dopey.

You really wouldn't guess that Kate Hudson passes her vagina around like pork dumplings at dim sum, but bitch is a mega slut. If I was her mother, this would bring tears of joys to my eyes, because she would be following in my footsteps. However, Kate's mother is crying tears of SHAME! The Daily Mail says that Private Benjamin has begged Kate to give A-Roid's peen the pink slip. Goldie thinks it's time that Kate curb her pussay, put a lock on it and let it breathe a bit.

A source said, "Kate’s had a string of boyfriends since her divorce from Chris Robinson and it’s always the same pattern – she falls hard and fast, then gets bored or has her heart broken. Goldie hates the idea of seeing Kate getting hurt again."

Kate's vagina is howling too loud for her to hear her mother's pleas, because she's taking her relationship with A-Roid to the next level. Kate has apparently already introduced A-Roid to her son.

While I agree with Goldie that Kate needs blow a goodbye kiss to A-Rod's roid rod, I disagree that she needs to stop her whore ways. If you don't have a full-time fuck partner, why not take a few part-time jobs to keep the genital area active in the community. Kate just needs to learn that just because her chocha is smiling, doesn't mean it's true love. Bitch probably falls in love at first dick tip. She needs to work on that shit.

Ass-Roidy's former and current fuck time friend almost crossed paths this weekend at the Polo Classic (aka The Hot Ginge Appreciation Party), but one of them made sure that didn't happen. Kate Hudson, who is currently whispering sweet nothings into A-Roid's dick hole, did whatever she could to stay away from the EVIL VADGE!

When Kate first arrived, she sat in the front of the VIP section, but she quickly shuttled her ass to the back after she heard Madonna and children (that includes you, Baby Jesus) had just arrived. One guest told Gatecrasher, “Kate was completely intimidated by Madonna. She clearly didn’t want trouble and decided to keep a low profile for the rest of the match. I didn’t even see Kate Hudson again after Madonna arrived. She ran away! But if I were dating Madonna’s ex, I’d be scared, too!”

Another guest said that Vadge didn't even lay one queef over the presence of Kate Hudson and her stuffed jelly donut face. The other guest said, “Madonna literally didn’t care. She showed up with no makeup, a dowdy denim outfit and her hair pulled up in a ponytail. She doesn’t need to compete with Kate, because she will always be Queen Bee.”

Queen Bee? Ick. Nast. Regina George, she ain't!

I hope that while Kate Hudson was hiding out in the back, she found some fucking dignity. I mean, hiding from Vadge and taking a dildo to A-Roid's ass in the same week?! Although, it's a good thing she doesn't have any balls, because if she did, Vadge would've sniffed 'em out and swallowed them whole anyway.

Two seconds ago, it was reported that Kate Hudson and Ass-Rod were giving each other mouth jobs in NYC. I chalked it up to one of those 24-hour bugs. Well, the virus is still active. Page Six says that Kate and A-Roidy's affair of the fart is now one week old. Surprisingly, this isn't a record for either of them. Yeah, I think Kate was married for at least 10 days. And A-Rod was Vadge's clit licker for at least 9.

The two celebrated their long-lasting love by spending some time together at Hotel ZaZa in Dallas after the Yankees vs. Rangers game. A source said that Brit Brit's head double packed up her vagina and followed A-Roid down there. Yeah, "followed" was the word they used.

Kate seems like the type to fall madly in love after the first dick-to-vag session. Homegirl needs to learn that you don't have to walk down the street hand-in-hand all lovey dovey-like with a dude just because he dicked you earlier in the day. Love. Sex. Two different animals. And sometimes the two animals don't need to cuddle together. Actually, it's better when they don't. Yeah, don't bother pouring me a bitter martini. I'm already full of it.

No, this isn't a Piggly Wiggly cashier on her break, sipping a Bud Light in a plastic cup while strolling to her mobile home to turn her baby. It's Kate Hudson on the Oklahoma City set of her new movie. And no, the movie is not, Crushed Cheetos & Broken Dreams: The Britney Spears Story. It's for a movie called The Killer Inside. Spoiler alert! The killer is Ding Dongs and a box of Revlon Colorsilk #32.

I have to say that I love Kate with dishwater brown hair! It brings out the trailer trash in her face and that's a beautiful thing! I would definitely dance with Kate on top of a Trans-Am in the parking lot of a monster truck rally to Whitesnake's "Here I Go Again."

Back in January, there were rumors that Kate Hudson and A-Roidy were licking each other's tongues. Well, it looks like that wasn't a one-time thing, because they have been spreading their ick-nastiness all over NYC.

Page Six says that this past Friday, Kate was cheering on A-Roidy at a Yankees game. That night, the two were apparently making out in the back room of Mustang Grill. A bartender wouldn't let anyone back there, because he didn't want to be responsible for the dry heaves they might experience while witnessing that kind of grossness.

A couple of days later, Kate and A-Roidy were seen leaving his apartment on Central Park West.

You knew, these two whores don't make sense to me. Kate Hudson usually humps on dudes who look like bed bug-ridden discarded mattresses. And A-Roidy usually bumps it with chicks who could lift a Dodge Ram with their roidy clits. Did they both just fuck through all their "types," so figured they should try something new?

If I was Kate, I'd rub it on A-Roidy's OctoMommy-approved lips just once more and then slowly back away. Because if she didn't and A-Roidy gets his way, bitch is going to end up looking like (NSFL!!!) this.

This is the first trailer for Nine and it kind of has me feeling tingly for a couple of reasons. First, this shit has always been one of my favorite musicals ever and second, Daniel Day-Lewis DANCES! When I watched There Will Be Blood, I immediately thought to myself that it would be so much better if he was singing and dancing around the whole time. I mean, a musical number called "I Drink the Milkshake" would have been spectacular. Since that didn't happen, this is the next best thing.

Nine also stars a bunch of chicks who belong in this movie like Sophia Loren, Marion Cotillard, Penny Cruz and Judi Dench. There's also some hos (point at Fergie & Kate Hudson) who must have licked the right taint to get cast. When they hit the screen, that's when I hit the toilet! As for Nicole Kidman, the jury is still out on that bitch. I can't tell from the trailer if she moves her face or not. If she's able to frown even a bit, they should give her every award imaginable. That's a major feat in itself!

Kate Hudson has talked about her love of pole dancing before, because it's fun and makes her feel empowered as a strong woman of the world. Bleh, bleh, bleh. If you ask any pole Kate's smeared her bits on, they'd say it makes them feel weepy and suicidal.

Anygoldiehawnneedstoslapherchild, a sourcie tells UsWeekly (via The Scoop) that Kate had a stripper pole installed in her bathroom and she's proud of it! They said, “She’s so proud of it. She was laughing and giddy like a kid when the thing was installed! She holds on with both her arms and flips her legs into the air. It’s kind of amazing and totally sexy.”

They got the work order wrong. The pole was supposed to be installed up her ass.

But seriously, there has to be a good reason for this. Kate Hudson is like all green and shit, right? Like she loves hugging trees and stuff? Maybe this is her way of saving toilet paper. After she takes a shit, she gets on the pole, flips her legs into the air, wraps her ass cheeks around it and slides that shit clean. Shit and slide!