Arrests

Remy Ma was sentenced to 8 years in the chokey today for shooting a friend outside a NYC nightclub last summer. Remy said it was an accident. Yeah, just like I accidentally went pee pee in my bed last night, because I was too lazy to go to the toilet. I'm joking! I swear. Ok, I'm not.

26-year-old Remy cried when the judge handed down the sentence. It could have been worse. She faced up to 25-years in prison.

To make Remy's life even more depressing, her weekend wedding was called off by officials.. She was supposed to marry her rapper boyfriend Papoose, but he was caught with a handcuff key during a visit. The dumb fuck tried to smuggle it in. He was immediately kicked off Rikers and told he can't come back for 6-months.

Papoose tried to hide that key in his poop shoot, didn't he? He farted and it fell out of his ass.

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Scott Weiland checked himself into the clink yesterday at 8:55am to begin serving his 192-hour DUI sentence. Scott was out before dinnertime at 6:54pm. He only served 10 hours. Hey, that's more than Nicole Richie served.

Officials must have realized that Scott is too sexy for jail. Even the harsh fluorescent lighting couldn't mask his hotness. Beauty like that should not be locked down. Ugh. Why do I think he's hotter than a ham and cream twinkie? WHY?!

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Dennis Rodman was arrested last night on suspicion of domestic abuse. Surprised? Me neither.

Rodman's manager told TMZ that Dennis and his girlfriend had too much to drink last night. When they got back to their hotel in Century City, they started arguing and Dennis grabbed her by the arm, leaving a bruise. The hotel's security got involved and called the po po.

Officers learned that Rodman hit the woman, so they took him into custody. He posted $50,000 bail and was released 5 hours later. His court date has been set for May 22nd.

Rodman's manager said Dennis will check into rehab once he gets back into Florida. He said Dennis' drinking, "has been escalating in the last six weeks due to a nasty divorce and not seeing his children in over two months."

I forgot his crazy ass has kids! He has a son named D.J. and a daughter named Trinity.

Dennis is really getting too old for this kind of nonsense. Why do people have to fuck up their buzz by getting into fights? That's disrespecting the booze! Have a good time, let the booze do its work and keep it chill. Respect the booze!

Gary Dourdan of "CSI" was arrested in Palm Springs yesterday on suspicion of possessing heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and prescription drugs. TMZ reports that the cops found him asleep in his car at 5:21 in the morning. He was taken to a Palm Springs jail where he later posted $5,000 bail and was released.

Gary is set to leave "CSI" after this season. Working on the show must have been getting in the way of his partying.

All those drugs and no one to party with? He probably couldn't afford the couple of tranny hookers he ordered earlier.

Gary's mug shot is making me feel his pain. The bitch needs a few Airbornes and a cold shower. I can smell his coke breath from here.

Expect a rehab announcement in 3...2.....

Jade is seriously one of my favorite movies ever. It's such a piece of trash. When I was a teenager, I opened a Columbia House account just to get Jade. Remember Columbia House?! That shit was like a dream come true for teenagers. I opened at least a dozen Columbia House accounts under different names. You would get like 10 VHS movies or CDs for like $15 or some shit. The catch was that you had to buy a certain amount of movies or CDs within the year for like $40 each. I would pay the $15 for the 10 movies, but I would never buy anything else. That's why I would open up a new account. Columbia House definitely has a hit on me.

Anyway, one of Jade's stars, Angie Everhart, was busted for DUI on Thursday. It's the next natural step in her career. TMZ reports that Angie was released later that morning on $15,000 bail. She's due on court May 15th.

Calling Dr. Drew! Looks like we found your next cast member for "Celebrity Rehab 2."

Wino was arrested today on suspicion of assault! The Sun reports that Wino spent half an hour with Scotland Yard this evening after arriving 2 hours late for her police interview.

Wino has been accused of allegedly headbutting one dude and then punching another dude earlier this week.

She could face up to 6-months in the chokey if she's convicted. She can finally be with Blaaaake!

Wino is expected to be released from Holborn Police Station sometime today.

Can't you picture her in handcuffs screaming for Blaaaake while the cops attempt to search her crackhive? Can they let me know if they find my missing red sock up in that mess? I've looked everywhere for that shit.

Vanilla Ice was arrested last night in Florida for allegedly beating on his wife, Laura Van Winkle. Laura called the po po and told them he was hitting, kicking and pushing at her. The cops arrived to find Ice a couple of blocks from his house on a motorcycle. Did he have a Coors and a bag of pork rinds in his hands too? Trash!

Laura didn't have any injuries on her and told police he had pushed her, but not hit or kicked her. She also told the police she wanted a divorce. According to a report, Laura said, "He started yelling at me for going out to buy a bedroom set. In front of my daughter." Damn Ice! The bedroom set was on lay-a-way! No reason to get all mad and shit.

Ice told police that his wife is bipolar and on medication. He said she had been acting irrational, but denied pushing her. He said he left on his motorcycle to calm down.

He spent the night in jail and is expected to see a judge this morning. Ice was arrested back in 2004 for domestic battery.

WONKED out in that mug shot above. He probably has the marijuana twitch.

Laura should have just called the Ninja Turtles instead. They are already mad at Ice for ruining their reputation with the "Ninja Rap."

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Anne Hathaway's beard, Raffaelo Follieri, was arrested by NYC police today for bouncing a $250,000 check. TMZ reports he's still in the chokey for one misdemeanor count. He's currently being booked. A source said his bank account was not even close to covering the check.

Annie, pull a Salma Hayek and get a beard that actually has some money. It's not hard. I'm sure Ryan Gaycrest is in the market for a beard of his own. The $250,000 check probably for something super douchey like a Maserati or a boat. I bet Raffaelo wears tons of Drakkar Noir too. He totally washes his briefs in it.

Actually, the douche probably wrote the check to himself, so he could get a few hundred dollars out of the ATM! We've all done it. We have! Sometimes pay day is too far away and those boots are calling your name today.

It's nice to hear that anger management classes really changed Naomi Campbell. She's such a sweet and calm person now. Naomi was arrested at Heathrow today after she allegedly delivered a beat down to a police officer in the first class lounge at Terminal 5 over lost luggage.

Naomi was taken away screaming from a British Airways flight to Los Angeles, because she couldn't find one of her 3 carry-on bags. BA staff told her they would find her bag and forward it on, but Naomi wasn't having it. That's when she was asked to get off the flight. Gulp. That flight attendant must be one with God, because it takes a brave soul to tell Naomi what to do.

The Sun reports that the police were called and she was heard screaming "get off of me" That's when she allegedly attacked one of them. She immediately was taken away to Heathrow police station where I'm sure she gave the officers there quite a laugh.

The flight was held up for more than an hour, because of Naomi's little tizzy.

Once a crazy bitch, always a crazy bitch! Why doesn't shit like this every happen whenever I'm on a flight? I would ask for my salted peanuts early, so I could sit back and enjoy the show.

Rikki Rockett, the drummer for Poison, was arrested at LAX on a rape warrant issued from Mississippi. Rikki was performing with the group in New Zealand and was just getting off a flight. Talk about major jetlag. Get off a 34 million hour flight and get arrested. His ears were probably still plugged up. I wonder if they let him pee first. I always have to pee after landing. ANYWAYS!

46-year-old Rikki was arrested on Monday, taken to jail, booked and it looks like he has been released since then. The LA Daily News reports that no details were given about the rape warrant.

Rikki worked as a hairdresser, lifeguard, dishwasher, Emergency Medical Technician and a suit salesman before started Poison with Bret Michaels in the 1980s.

Rape charge in Mississippi? If convicted, he's totally going to get the death penalty. They are hardcore down there! Shit, they will probably issue a public stoning.

I guess this means Rikki is not going to star in Rock of Love 3?