Clay Aiken

It was a gay ole' time at the Virgin Megastore Times Square in NYC today. Clay Gayken signed copies of his new music for 55-year-old vagina called "On My Way Here.....I Ate A Dick."

I'm pissed that the photographers didn't get some wonderful shots of Gayken's Claymates! I can picture them in their mom jeans, puffy paint t-shirts, denim vests and Easy Spirit sneakers in pink. The pink is for Gayken, because that's his favorite color. The janitor must have been dry heaving after the signing. Imagine mopping up all that old lady vagina water. Wrong.

There's a new look-alike power lesbian couple in town!

Clay Gayken almost wore the same outfit as his date! Talk about dodging an embarrassing bullet. To be honest, Gayken's rack would have looked more luscious in that dress.

Gayken and one of his "Spermalot" cast mates were photographed leaving a performance of "The Lion King" last night. I'm sure the night ended with the two doing each other's roots while talking about the best and worst vibrators.

UPDATE: Gayken isn't coming from The Liong King. He's coming from the Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS Easter Bonnet competition. Gayken and his Spermalot cast mate performed a song together.

Clay Gayken's ginger ass was on QVC last night hawking his CD that only Claymates will buy. Gayken sang several songs from his new album, "The Real Me Is A Fruitcake." MTV Newsroom thinks that one tune he sang during the QVC show might be his "coming out" song.

Some of the lyrics to the song "The Real Me" go:

But you see the real me
Hiding in my skin, broken from within
Unveil me completely
I’m loosening my grasp
There’s no need to mask my frailty
Cause you see the real me

Painted on, life is behind a mask
Self-inflicted circus clown
I’m tired of the song and dance
Living a charade, always on parade...

Sure, he could be singing it to a big, juicy cock. I picture him singing it to his limited-edition Cabbage Patch Snuggle Beans doll. Snuggle Beans really does see the real Gayken.

Wait.....he sings about sad clowns? Gayken knows how to get to me! Don't be a sad circus clown, Gayken! I'll kiss your foreskin if it makes you feel better. I know, gross. Well! I don't want him to be a sad clown!

The clip of Gayken singing about a sad clown (tears) is below:

The ultimate Claymate might have been found. Clay Gayken is currently starring on Broadway in "Spermalot" and one Claymate has already seen it 40 times. Seeing Gayken 40 times will make even the sanest person go nuts. Sources tell Gatecrasher that the women waits by the stage door for Gayken and the other actors.

One actor asked the woman why she loves Gayken so much, she answered the only way a crazed Claymate would answer, "He is the Savior." A Savior to whom? A group of bear tops with blue balls?

A source said the woman starts waiting by the stage door at 9 in the morning. She tries to talk to anybody that will listen to her, "She says talking to the other actors, she feels a step closer to Clay." If you see this bitch, proceed with caution. She's delusional enough to mistake you for Clay Gayken and hump you to death with her memaw vadge.

Actually, I bet you the crazed Claymate is Cynthia Nixon's butch girlfriend in a lady wig. Well, she obviously has a taste for Ginger Dykes!

Clay Gayken said that people don't want to know if he's a flaming homo. Correction Clay! CLAYMATES are the ones that don't want to know if he's a proud member of the butt fuck club.

Claymates are like the military. Don't ask, don't tell! If Gayken came out, they would have to find another fembot singer to rub their raggedy clits to. Zac Efron perhaps?

Anyway, Gayken talked to Access Hollywood about his sexuality, "People don't want to have that type of stuff pushed, people who are living in Omaha or in Charlotte or wherever. I don't think that's necessary and that's also not what I'm here for. I mean, I went on Idol to be a singer, I went on Idol to be an entertainer and that's what my priority is." And to suck cock..... Well! Look at him. He obviously loves the peen in his mouth. I make the same face just out of habit sometimes. I'll be standing in line at the grocery store and suddenly I'm on my knees with my mouth open. It's habit!

He went on to say, "I think when you get into anything and you're not used to people scrutinizing this, that or the other... it bothers you. After awhile you kind of just say, 'Forget this ... This is not who I am, this is not about me, what I want to do is be a singer, want to be an entertainer, and forget all that stuff."

I don't think Gayken is a gay man. Obviously, he's a lesbionic female-to-male tranny!

VIA UsWeekly

Clay Gayken please! This is too much information. I really don't need to see his "12-inch-dick-up-ass" face. You know all the middle-aged Claymates in the crowd were rubbing their ginas raw over their mom jeans while Clay was making his O face.

Here's Gayken promoting his role in "Spermalot" with a handprint ceremony at Planet Hollywood Times Square today.

Hot lesbian alert! Clay Gayken is looking hot enough for Ellen Degeneres to eat on the cover of his new album "On My Way Here." Bitch is wearing more makeup than Zac Efron. And that's saying a lot. That hair screams "Hollywood power lesbian."

Gayken's new album comes out in May. I'm sure all the Claymates pluck a pube a day in anticipation of this momentous occasion.

If I told you the bitch in the middle was a lesbian named Esther from Asheville, North Carolina, you would believe me 100%. Rosie O'Donnell thought about having a hot lesbo threesome with Clay Gayken for a split second, but then smelled his ball sweat and called it a night.

Here's these three happy lesbians backstage at "Spamalot" last night. The Susan Powter looking chick is Rosie's main bitch, Kelly.

In an interview with New York Magazine, Clay Gayken talks about his new life in NYC. Clay is currently starring on Broadway in "Spamalot." Gayken said he doesn't plan on going to clubs or bars. She said, “The only reason people go to bars is to get drunk and have sex. To me, bars are what hell is like.” Drunk and having sex is hell?! Sounds like heaven to me. What kind of gay is Clay?!

Clay said that he isn't dating anyone and only spends time with "his dogs." I think that's code word for dildo.

He said, “I just don’t have an interest in … any of that at all. I have got too much on my plate. I’d rather focus on one thing and do that when I can devote time to it, and right now, I just don’t have any desire.” When asked if he has any sort of sexual urges, he says, “Ah think maybe I don’t! I mean, not really. I’ve just kind of shut it off, maybe. Is that bad?”

The writer also gets into the culture of the Claymate. The box office person at "Spamalot" even warned the writer that they scream like teenage girls, but are middle-aged woman.

I feel sort of bad for Gayken, but then I picture him having sex and my drive is instantly shut off. Thinking of Gayken doing sexy times makes me want to go to church and knit something. Hey, they should play Gayken videos in High School. The teen pregnancy levels would plummet.

Who needs sex when you're Clay Aiken anyway? I'm sure the Claymates are having enough sex for him. They probably sell Clay voodoo dolls in the underground Claymate groups. They probably rub his vodoo doll all over their middle-aged private parts while listening to his cover version of "Here You Come Again."

No! Not the woman with all the make-up. Yeah, there's two women there with tons of make-up. Good point. The sincere sexy redhead. Yes! That girl. Clay Gayken turned up the homo volume on Broadway last night. He made his debut in "Spermalot." You know he's thinking, "Why couldn't I be wearing that pretty headpiece. I would look so much more beautiful. I'm going to spike her vitamin water with laxatives. She has no right."

I don't know who sprayed down Gayken, but his make-up is terrible. It looks like it was made using melted down clay pots. Terracotta face!

Congrats to Broadway's newest leading lady!