Salma Hayek

Monday, February 11th 2008

Salma On The Attack

Salma Hayek protected her young while leaving her NYC hotel yesterday. Paps were trying to get pictures of her baby, but Salma wasn't having it. She went after one photographer. Get them girl! She should have whipped off her top and jiggled those giant breasts around. She would have knocked them all out with just a couple of twirls. They would have been begging for mammary mercy.

Splash, Wenn

Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, February 7th 2008

Perfection

The gorgeous creature known as Salma Hayek made a rare appearance at Madonna's circle jerk last night. Although her giant pregnant chi-chis have deflated a bit, she is still perfect. I don't know why I get wet over her. She's so normal, but there's mystery there. I just want to hear her whisper, "Escandalo" over and over and over and over again.

That necklace is like a sparkling river cascading between two bodacious mountains. Her sugar daddy isn't bad either, but that's only because he's richer than Hannah Montana.

Wenn,Splashnewsonline.com

Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, January 17th 2008

Beauty And The Chupa

Salma Hayek is looking hotter than ever. She left her baby and oldie olsen boyfriend at home to attend the opening of the Sergio Rossi store in Beverly Hills last night. What Salma needs to do is stay away from Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe. Chupa looks like she needs the blood of a virgin STAT. I'm waiting for her to break out into hysterics and beg for the One Ring to finally free her. Chupa! Stop wasting Salma's time and go and get your ring back from Bilbo Baggins.

I adore Salma. Hopefully this is her only meeting with Chupa.

Posted by: Michael K


Monday, November 26th 2007

Salma And Child

 
FINALLY! There's a picture of Salma Hayek and her little Valentina Pinault. Valentina was born this past September. Her daddy is some rich dude. 
 
Valentina is covering her mommy's chi-chis. She needs to move over a little bit, so I can make sure they are still intact. I've been worried about those things. Worried that they deflated after Valentina's birth.  
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Monday, October 22nd 2007

Of Course She Doesn't Care!

 
Page Six reported a couple of weeks ago that Linda Evangelista's one-year-old son, Augustin, is the son of Francois-Henri Pinault. Linda has been telling people that Auugustin's pepaw is some Swedish banker or something. Francois is the rich-as-hell fiancee of Salma Hayek. She recently gave birth to his daughter, Valentina
 
Sources told Page Six that Salma is still planning to marry Francois despite finding out about Linda's son. Fashion editors are also ignoring the story, because Francois puts a lot of ad dollars into their publications.
 
Of course Salma is going to marry him! Married with his child equals lots of dollar signs! Bitch probably wouldn't care if he was boinking Linda NOW!
 
No romance without finance!
 
I also have to hand it to Francois. If he didn't have gazillions of dollars there's no way he'd secure two hot pieces like that.
 
Posted by: Michael K


Saturday, September 22nd 2007

Ugh! Now Her Chichis Will Deflate!

 
I'm happy that Salma Hayek finally popped her baby out, but I pray those magnificent chichis will not go down! They are the eighth world wonder! 
 
After being knocked up for 10 million years, Salma Hayek finally gave birth to a baby girl yesterday. Salma and her rich as hell pepaw boyfriend, François Henri Pinault, have named her Valentina Paloma Pinault.
 
It's her first brat and his third. The two are engaged, but no word yet on when they are going to make it legal. Who cares about getting married now?! Salma's set now that she's had his child. I say leave his old ass and go live on a farm with Penny Cruz. That way you can bump ginas all day and all night without a bother!
 
Congrats to Salma! Valentina is a beautiful name although I'm a little sad she didn't name her Chichi.
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, August 16th 2007

HELL YES!

 
Is Salma Hayek going to give birth to a 10-year-old?! Damn, she looks hot. You know how I feel about big chi-chis and these are especially special. I just want play basketball with those things. I just want to nuzzle my face into those. I just want to...ok I'll stop.
 
Salma better pop soon!
 
Source: TMZ
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Tuesday, May 29th 2007

Providing Shade for Baby

 
A pregnant Salma Hayek never EVER gets old. I'm still hypnotized by those gigantic chi-chis. I think she still has a couple of more months to go, so I can't wait to see her breastes completely spill over.
 
And I know what you're thinking! No, Delta and Dawn have not been saved yet! 
 
Source: TMZ
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, May 10th 2007

She Could Feed All of Angelina's Babies

 
Salma Hayek is pregnant and by pregnant I mean...bitch is PREGNANT. Those titties alone are knocked up. I kind of dig it. Anyway, she's spending some time in Paris, because I guess that's where the baby daddy lives.  
 
 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Tuesday, March 20th 2007

Show Us Your Tits!

Ever since Salma Hayek announced she was knocked up all I want to see is how big her titties will get. I'm sure they are going to pop and I wish to witness this. It will be like a delicious milky fountain. Sick! Breast milk tastes like jizz!

Source

Posted by: Michael K


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