Hunks

I post so much fugliness on Dlisted all day long that it's nice to see some good old fashioned hotness every now and again. I'm not being sarcastic either! It's also pretty fucking strange when I don't have one bad thing to say. Trust me. I've searched deep into my bitter heart for at least one bad thing to say and I've come up with nothing. I'm sure you grouchy bitches have a few.

William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman are like cute little kittens. I just want to throw a ball of yarn at them and scratch the back of their ears.

I'm also happy that I finally know what Ned Flanders looks like shirtless. DILF!

It was a lovely day at the office for Sandra Bullock. She got paid zillions to get on her knees in front of Ryan Reynolds. This scene would look better if he was naked, it was me instead of her and if there was a goose down pillow under my knees. Seriously, I'm not fucking up my knees for any whore.

Ry and Sandy shot scenes for their new movie, "The Proposal" in NYC yesterday. The movie is about some bitchy boss (Sandy) who forces her assistant (Ryan) to marry her so that she won't get deported back to Canada.

This movie was just as awful when it was called "Green Card." Sorry, I can't take Andie MacDowell. I'd rather watch a boxing pussy for 3 hours straight than watch anything with Andie in it. Well, except for "Beauty Shop." That shit was hot.

And what did they do to Sandy's hair? Does this crap show take place in 1997?!

Tom Ford is seen here leaving the Anastasia salon in Beverly Hills after having his eyebrows waxed today. And to think, I thought he was naturally perfect. Don't even think of telling me that he poo poos and pee pees like the rest of us. I will never believe that. I bet he gets his colita waxed though.

How many homo alligators had to die for this coat? This year's annual gay alligator white party is going to be a sad affair, because most of them were sacrificed for Andre Leon Talley's coat!

Andre looks like Jambi the Genie's gay and grouchy step-brother. I'm expecting him to shout, "Mekka-lekka hi mekka hiney ho! Mekka-lekka hi mekka chahney ho!"

Speaking of hiney hos, Andre escorted MC Naomi Campbell to last night's CFDA Awards. "U Can't Touch This," because she'll kill your ass if you try.

I just sat (and drank) through 2 hours of the shit show known as the MTV Movie Awards. Alien Princess RiRi looked as about excited as I was during the whole show. Did you see her straight-up "bitch" face the entire time? I think she was sitting near Wonky McValtrex, so she could have just been smelling her stank.

It was all worth it though. Johnny Depp and his lesbian bike messenger haircut made it worth it. He won a couple of awards for being a sexy whore or something like that. He also spoke in some creepy accent. Who cares though? I won't have to listen to his accent when I'm sitting on his face. Seriously, I would kick kittens while sitting on his face if that's what he wanted.

And since I'm a buzz killer, here's some pics along with Tommy Girl. If I don't add a little bit of fugness to this post, it will explode from the sheer hotness of Johnny Depp. Tommy Girl presented Adam Sandler with some stupid award. Tommy only wanted to be there because he heard Zac Efron was in the house. You know Tommy wants to work that femme over.

Hmmm....I wonder which one lives on the roof and which one lives in the basement? Hugh Jackman looks like a power bottom screamer. A screamer in wolf's clothing.

Hugh and his lovely friend went for an early morning swim at Bondi Beach in Australia on Saturday. Unfortunately, they didn't touch each other in front of the paps. Rude! They could at least kiss each other's nipples. Just once!

New couple? Anderson Cooper attended the 6th Annual Sesame Workshop Gala last night with Elmo. You know those two are doing it. The Silver Fox and the Hot Muppet Ginge! Hottest couple ever.

I don't know which muppet chick that is in the second thumbnail below, but she's a slut! Look at how she's trying to grab at Andy's silvercrotch.

This cover would have gotten an A+ from me if it read "Batman Undressed" and Christian Bale only had on a cape. Chicks are always posing naked for magazine covers, dudes should too. Seriously, I need to see what Batman is working with. It probably looks like this (link is NSFWish).

Click here to read Christian Bale's cover interview for Details Magazine.

Harrison Ford just needs some Cialis, Ben-Gay, a warm compress and he's ready for a hot sexay night of passion. Well, the fun and games have to end around 10pm, because pepaws like to get up at the break of dawn.

Here's 66-year-old Harry with Calista Flockhart in Cannes.

Don't laugh. This is what Lindsay Lohan is going to look like in 2 years.

It's Carrot Bottom with some poor girl at CatHouse in Las Vegas last night. I'm sure she was disappointed when she discovered Carrot Bottom's baby carrot. With that being said, I'd hit it. Well, I like the ginges!