This is just one the lovely buff ladies who came forward claiming to have bumped roided-up genitals with A-Rod. Joslyn Morse is a stripper from Miami who had an affair with A-Rod last year. Stripper? Is she part of Chippendales? The Thunder From Down Under? Joslyn might have to testify in A-Rod's divorce dick battle against C-Rod.
Speaking of C-Rod, she talked to Cindy Adams at the New York Post yesterday for the first time since all this crap went down. She said that she still loves A-Rod, but had to leave his cheating ass to prove that she's not weak. Um...she could have just flexed her biceps to prove that.
She claims the marriage is forever done and that he needs to deal with his own shit. A-Rod is no longer the douche she married, but she plans to be there for him when finally "cracks up." Whatever that means. She wouldn't talk about any of the he-skanks A-Rod cheated on her with, because she's past that.
Speaking of one of the he-skanks he allegedly cheated on her with, A-Rod is reportedly telling friends he's in love with Vadge. According to UsWeekly, he told his friend, "She's my fucking soulmate, dude." Or maybe he said "So mate, she's a fucking dude" and the friend heard it wrong?
AND! Just because while we're on this topic, Jose Conseco is now trying to get into this shit. He is once again telling that old ass story about how Vadge wanted to have a baby with him. Jose also hates "A-Rod's guts" for hitting on his wife. STFU Jose! Go suck your thumb in the corner. Who's next? I'm still waiting for Dennis Rodman to throw his name into this mess.
Lenny Kravitz somehow found himself in the middle of the A-Rod/Vadge drama after he invited Cynthia Rodriguez to Paris so that she could get away from all the attention. Shortly after that, rumors of Lenny and C-Rod doing sexy times together started to spread. A source told Page Six that when Lenny found out about the rumors, he "looked like he was going to throw up." He was probably just picturing C-Rod's buff bagina.
C-Rod's trainer thinks Lenny's manager (now ex-manager), Guy Oseary, is to blame. Oseary also manages Vadge and A-Rod.
About two weeks ago C-Rod's trainer called Lenny to let him know that Oseary was planning to whore out the Vadge and A-Rod story to the media. Lenny immediately fired Oseary.
Now Lenny thinks that Oseary is the one who leaked the fake story of him cheating with C-Rod to the media as a payback for firing him. Are you still following this? Because I'm not. Anyway, a spokesbitch for Lenny confirmed that he fired Oseary as his manager two weeks ago.
This whole saga is turning into a really bad Jackie Collins novel without the glamour and champagne. We just need to get all of them on Jerry Springer already, because this shit is out of control.
Cynthia Rodriguez has quickly become my favorite character in the A-Hole/Vadge divorce drama. According to the NYDN, Cynthia decided to get back at her estranged husband by spending some of his hard-earned cash. And by "some" I mean $100,000. While the whole A-Hole and Vadge rumors started coming out, Cynthia went off to Paris to hang out with Lenny Kravitz.
A friend said that Cynthia, who just had a baby 11 weeks ago, flew the godparents of her daughters first-class to Paris. She went to the best restaurants, went to the spa and was even thinking of joining Lenny Kravitz in Spain. Shit, She-Hulk should have bought Spain!
The friend also claims Cynthia has hired four divorce lawyers, "She needs four lawyers in two different states? That's not the dream team, it's the greed team." HELL YES! The buff ass bitch is smart. I would've hired Scooby Doo, Marcia Clark, Matlock, Ally McBeal, Gloria Allred, Leslie Abramson and Tracey Ullman as Sydney Cross.
She-Hulk didn't stop there, she also barred A-Hole from seeing their daughters. While she was living it up in Paris, her daughters were in Miami. A-Hole tried to see them, but She-Hulk would not let him.
This is exactly how you get back at a dude who fucked you over! You don't cheat on his ass, you take his credit card and you MAX the fuck out of that shit. You do some "Pretty Woman" shit.
Speaking of "Pretty Woman," whatever happened to snobby salesperson #2 from that movie. I couldn't find the scene on YouTube, but she's standing on a ladder and tells Julia Roberts, "It's very expensive." I hated that cunt!
Sorry, but Jenny McCarthy won this round. Jim Carrey may have the attitude and it looks like RuPaul's "Supermodel" is playing in his head while he's working that swimsuit, but the bitch did not come prepared.
First of all, that suit makes his badonkadonk look fat. His chichis could use a little padding AND homegirl didn't wax her crotch jungle. Take some NADS to that mess! WAIT!? And is that cellulite I see on Jim? Quick! Get Phoebe Price and her cellulite-finding magnifying glass to get to the bottom of this.
Jim, next time try a Miraclesuit tankini.
Here's more of Jenny and Jim being bored and entertaining the paparazzi outside their shack in Malibu yesterday.
With Vadge and Guy Ritchie's dumbass divorce getting so much attention, I thought I'd show a little love to the sexiest member of that family - Carlos Leon. We should show our appreciation for him by sitting on his face and spinning while humming "Deeper and Deeper." Since we can't do that without getting arrested and having a restraining order put on us, here's some lovely pictures of him with Lourdes.
No wonder Vadge chose his ass as her sperm donor. That bitch is hot. You know that peen hangs low and it wobbles to and fro. You can tie it in a knot. You can tie it in....you get it.
Carlos looks like he might slap you in the teefs if you get out of line, but I need that kind of discipline every now and again. I can even look past that creepy ass tattoo.
If Carlos Leon isn't your cup of hot leche, I've also throw in some pictures of pretty, pretty Princess Zac Efron for all the tweens, pedos, make-up fetishists and dom daddy tops out there.
The teaser trailer for the new 007 movie is out. I always get this crap confused with Quantum Leap, so I half-expected Scott Bakula to pop into the trailer and was a little disappointed when he didn't. Better yet, Ziggy should've been one of the Bond girls.
And why is Daniel Craig clothed through most of the trailer. More nekkid Craig and more Bond girls!! "Quantum of Solace" comes out this November.
It seems like Hugh Jackman lives at the beach. If I looked like that, I guess I'd always be half-nekkid at the beach. Shit, I'd be nekkid at the damn beach. And does Hugh ever have a "fat" moment? His ass lips could probably bench press more than me. That's nothing say much though. Your ass lips could probably bench press more than I ever could.
Hugh spent a lovely day at la playa with his family in St. Tropez. I also threw in some pictures of Rev Run in Maui. Now that's some real delicious chocolate right there. I'd take Rev. Fun over Hugh Jackman any day of the week. More ounce to the bounce, more bacon for the takin'! I'd probably suffocate to death during sexy times with Rev Run, but it would be worth it.
Sherri Shepherd looks like she wandered into a fancy pants gay club. Talk about a boner killer. Sherri's stupid ass visited The Chippendales show last night in Las Vegas. I thought Chippendales dancers were supposed to be hot? I just see a bunch of butterfaces with douchey tattoos.
It's hard for me to find any male stripper hot ever since my friend told me a little story.
I might have told this crap before, so just roll your eyes and move along if you've heard it before. So, my friend was at some bachelorette party and of course they had some guido stripper shaking his junk for all of them. Guido stripper went from girl to girl and practically dick slapped. The next day, my friend's eye was all swollen and nasty. She went to the doctor and guess what was in that bitch's eye? A fucking dead crab. Hell no! This is why you should always wear blue blockers around guido strippers.
Hopefully, Sherri got a crab in her eye and it will keep her off "The View" for a couple of days. Oh and I was just joking about not finding male strippers hot. I'd do sexy times with all of them, crabs and all. I'd just bring my own melted butter for dipping.
Hugh Laurie gave an interview to The Times and he talked about how strange fame is and shit. He said, “[Being famous means that] you can get a table in a restaurant. But then you've got to go past a line of people who can't get a table - and that's a bad feeling. I've [been given] a Burger King Gold Card."
Say what?! Apparently, this Burger King Gold Card will get you an endless supply of free burgers for life. Your way. Jay Leno is also the proud recipient of one, even though that whore is the last person who needs a card for free burgers.
A BK Gold Card may sound delicious, but your toilet will not appreciate that shit. Literally.
This is just another example of rich ass celebrities getting dumb crap for free. What's next?! A Con Edison Platinum card for free electricity? I shouldn't joke. They probably already have that.
What about the sexy hunk sleeping behind him?! That's who the paps should be shooting. Wait...maybe the dude is dead. Naw, he's just taking a little kitten nap on those luscious chichis of his. Matt Dillon is too vain to realize the raw hotness behind him.
I also can't tell if Matt has pecs or moobs underneath that shirt. Either way, I'd still motorboat.
Here's Matt and sleepy sexy hunk in NYC the other day.