Gwyneth Paltrow

That's A Dude!

GODDESS GWYNETH?! Every shade of fug!

She looks like a Romanian, twinkie, super-bottom, gay porn star! That being said, I'd definitely let her strap one on and take it.

This is Fishsticks on September's W Magazine .

Posted by: Michael K

180 comments •

Gwyneth Paltrow

Fishsticks Paltrow was spotted leaving the Sonya Dakkar in Beverly Hills with a shit load of Lux 9 products including a special cream made from snake venom. It's an anti-aging cream. Uh huh, what isn't it?

An insider said, "It's not Botox. Just a cream that has the venom in it . . . [the cream] is part of the facials."

Ok...that's it. I'm making my own damn cream made from baby shit. You know these sluts would buy it up.

These jacked up creams are just as good as Oil of Olay! These dumb whores (myself included) will drop major bank on stupid ass creams that don't do shit! I mean....snake oil....dead babies...what the hell else are going they put into creams to trick you!

That being said, Creme De Mer works wonders. I know...I know...slap me later.

Posted by: Michael K

111 comments •

Gwyneth Paltrow

A Fishy Reunion

Fishsticks Paltrow and Brad Pitt were like the "it couple" of the 90s and these two are set to reunite on film in "Dirty Tricks." The film is about he wife of Richard Nixon's attorney general coming to her husband's defense in the aftermath of Watergate. Brad and Fishy play husband and wife.

The cast also includes Sharon Stone, Meryl Streep and Annette Bening.

Reportedly, Angie Jolie not happy about this. She's apparently "beside herself" with grief and is afraid Brad will fall back in love with Fishy. Brad has a history of falling in love with his leading ladies...Fishy, Juliette Lewis and Angie.

Oh please. Angie doesn't give a fuck! Fishy is happily married with guppies and I'm sure Brad doesn't want to tap that again.

Source

Posted by: Michael K

112 comments •

Brangelina • Gwyneth Paltrow

Broken Fishsticks

Awwww...Fishsticks has had a little accident. She reportedly fractured her knee and had surgery. She probably hurt herself on the set of "Iron Man." Fishsticks might be down, but she's not out enough to stop her from spending some cash. She was spotted at Maxfield's on Melrose yesterday with Apple.

Run Apple run! Now's your chance! Get away from that sea witch!

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

104 comments •

Gwyneth Paltrow

Her Best Look Yet

That's Fishsticks Paltrow covering her face as she picked up Apple from school in Santa Monica. She probably got my memo! Thank you Fishsticks! You've never looked better!

Fishsticks covered herself so the paps couldn't catch a photo of her or her daughter, but witnesses say that she created more attention.

"It was really odd. She couldn't see where she was going because the shawl was so tightly wrapped around their heads. They were actually drawing more attention to themselves."

That idiot! Who does she think she is? Michael Jackson?!

Source: The Daily Mail

Posted by: Michael K

38 comments •

Gwyneth Paltrow

Hot. Fug. Fug.

Tom Ford celebrated the opening of his store in NYC last night and it brought out the ladies. Tom is tall drink of hotness next to two overdone cauliflowers. Pregnancy is not looking good on our Naomi Watts.

Also spotted were Fishsticks, Kate Hudson and Liv Tyler.

Posted by: Michael K

1 comment •

Fug • Gwyneth Paltrow • Hotness

Apple Fish

Apple is cute. Fishsticks is not. That is all.

Actually, Apple is a little snotty looking. Ok, I'll stop. Here's these two hos out on a shopping trip in L.A. on Monday.

Image Source

Posted by: Michael K

94 comments •

Brats • Gwyneth Paltrow

Fishsticks & Moses

Fishsticks Paltrow brought her son, Moses, out for a coffee break with family friend Kate Capshaw. Moses is holding the car keys, so he can make a quick get away from her nasty paws. He's cute. It's amazing that something that cute came out of something so wretched! Ok, she's not that bad. I mean she's better than war. Slightly better. Source

Posted by: admin

129 comments •

Brats • Gwyneth Paltrow

Housewife?

Fishsticks Paltrow has been on a little break from film work, so she could take care of Apple and dip herself into tartar sauce every now and again. She's now getting back to work and can't wait. She told Oprah that she will miss being a "housewife" though. She said, "I've been at home being a housewife, which is amazing and I've loved every second of it." Question? Don't housewives actually do housework? You know this ho didn't lift up a broom. She probably sat around in her London flat bitching and moaning to the help about how much America sucks. She did look hot at the Oscars though. Ewww...that was gross of me to say. Source

Posted by: admin

76 comments •

Gwyneth Paltrow

Fishsticks Goes Goth

It's a dead Fishstick! This isn't a good look for my beloved Fishsticks Paltrow. She looked like the walking dead Damiani Jewelry benefit in NYC last night. She looks like that ho in Nightmare Before Christmas, but fuglier.