Small Ones | Dlisted

Juliette Lewis Thinks Brad Pitt Was No BIG Deal In Bed

Juliette Lewis and Brad Pitt used to date in the early 90s. Recently, Juliette was asked about Brad after she finished playing a set with her band at Seattle's Chop Suey. Mike Walker of the National Enquirer claims a dude when up to Juliette and asked, “Hey, Juliette, how was Brad Pitt in the sack anyway?"

Juliette responded with, "He was no… BIG deal, if ya know what I mean!" As she walked away the dude yelled at her, “Are you saying Brad was the PITTS?” She then laughed and knocked into a table sending drinks flying.

Is she saying Brad has a small dick? I've seen it and although he's not hung like a horse, it's still not bad. I'm guessing it's smaller now though since he's stuck it in the Jolie penis trap! Her vagina probably sucked the blood out of it.

That Scientology shit is ruining Juliette's memories and brains. Click on the thumbnail to see an old pic of Brad showing his little Brad.

Source

Posted by: Michael K

351 comments •

Small Ones

Steve-O Smokes Weed Out Of A Dr. Pepper Can

Steve-O is starved for attention. At Gene Simmons' roast at the Key Club in Hollywood last night, he smoked weed out of a Dr. Pepper can and then showed off his nuts. He's trying to be high-class by smoking out of a Dr. Pepper can. He probably fished it out of the trash, because you know he can only afford Diet Rite.

Why wasn't he arrested? Not for the smoking weed thing, but for being an annoying douche.

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

142 comments •

Simon Cowell Gets High

That little Simon Cowell got a lift in his step while dining in London last night. There's nothing wrong with a heel on a man. Ask Tom Cruise! Simon isn't even that short. I think he's like 5'10". The heel doesn't bother me, but the shoe does. If he's gonna go high he might as well have some class and maybe wear something from the Shauna Sand shoe collection. Now that's a high-heeled shoe!

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

35 comments •

Fug • Small Ones

Spot The Douche!

How could these morons all gather in the same room? I would think the joint would explode from the extreme "toolism." Yes, that's KFed, Pete Wentz, DJ Steve Aoki, Benji Madden, Cisco Adler and Joel Madden in Brett Ratner's basement!

They shot this picture to go along with an article in Vanity Fair , yes VF, about how hooking up with startlets have taken these dude's fame to the next level.

You can read the article here , it's damn six pages long. What the hell is there to say about these asses that takes six pages?! I would think it would only take six letters: DOUCHE.

VIA ONTD

Posted by: Michael K

105 comments •

Dumbasses • Fug • Gross • KFed • Nerds • Small Ones

Mick Jagger Really Hated His Small Dick

In the early 80s Mick Jagger really hated his small dick and used a traditional Amazonian ritual to help it grow. Bitch let bees sting his shit! Director Julien Temple witnessed the ritual when filming a documentary on Mick.

He said, "It involved putting bamboo over the male member and filling it with stinger bees so the member attained the size of the bamboo. Mick spent months in the jungle in Peru. He was going mad out there I think."

WTF?! They didn't have penis pumps back then? Oh hell, no. Stinging dick? That's like sticking it into Paris Hilton.

Source VIA SOW

Posted by: Michael K

138 comments •

Gross • Small Ones

Ewan McGregor Needs Help

Ewan McGregor has become a "huge" fan of underwear that enhances the package by lifting and supporting. Ewan was caught buying a large order of AussieBum's "Wonderjock" panties. He was only caught, because they had to run a credit check due to the large order.

The owner of AussieBum said, "We found out that Ewan McGregor was buying them only because he made such a huge order and we had to do a credit check.

"The fact these are selling so fast proves size matters to a modern man. The Wonderjocks were originally done as a bit of a joke after someone said to us,'Could you do something that makes me look a bit larger?'"

I thought Ewan already had a large one. He wants it to look even larger? That works for me. I'm also pretty sure Ewan paid for those panties by letting AussieBum drop his name. AB should also send some to Cisco Adler. Bitch needs all the help in the world lifting those nuts from his knees.

Source: SFGate

Thanks Chic

Posted by: Michael K

77 comments •

Small Ones

Josh Hartnett's Sloppy Bar Bathroom BJ

A Dlisted reader witnessed Josh Harnett getting a blowjob from some chick in the bathroom of a NYC bar lastnight. Hahaha...I live for this crap. You know it's small though. Here's what my reader witnessed:

I was out last night with my friend in New York City. We went to the Lower East Side for drinks and to hangout. We started at this bar called Max Fish. Two of my girlfriends noticed that Josh Hartnet had arrived and proceeded to talk to him for a bit. He invited them to come meet him and some other friends at a small bar called Mamma's. When we arrived the star struck girls could see Josh over in the corner - but he was surrounded by another group of girls. My friend had to go to the bathroom and there was a small line. The guy in front of her mentioned that there were 2 girls in the bathroom and just then Hartnet walked right in. He was pissed (not knowing it was Josh, but he was mad because he obviously knew this would take a while). After a considerable amount of time - the pissed off guy walked up to the door and yanked it open - only to expose to the bar Josh Hartnet recieving a big sloppy blowjob from one of the two girls who was down on her knees. It was difficult to see what the other girl was doing because he shut the door so quickly. For Confirmation - he was wearing a white t-shirt that said KLAUS on the front and a black knit hat and had an ugly pair of glasses hanging from his shirt.

KLAUS? As in Von Bulow? Anyway, see stars are just like us! They receive bjs from strange girls in bathrooms in bars. Unfortunately, who knows if Josh is hung like a horse or bumble bee. I'm guessing he has huge nuts and a small trunk. The other chick was probably taking a dump. The sight of Harnett getting a sloppy cock-whistle is enough to make anyone get diarrhea.

Posted by: admin

10 comments •

Josh Harnett • Small Ones

Jakey G Peen

Maybe he's a grower! Jake Gyllenhaal showed off his little (literally) friend while biking through California. He really should stuff when wearing spandex.

Source VIA ONTD

Posted by: admin

10 comments •

Jakey Gyllenhaal • Small Ones

He Really Loves the Bones

Us Weekly is reporting that Joel Madden is now dating Nicole Richie. Joel recently broke it off with another skinny bone jones, Hilary Duff. The two were spotted last week at Teddy's in Hollywood. They were hugging and dancing and laughing...blah...blah..blah

They continued the next night when they were spotted with Joel's brother, Benji Madden, and his girlfriend. The brothers double dated at the Polo Lounge in Los Angeles.

Hilary now Nicole? He has a small peen. Seriously, that's what my two cents. He needs to get with chicks that make his wang look bigger. A small dick next to Hil and Nicole probably looks huge.

Source

Posted by: admin

44 comments •

Duffs • Nicole Kidman • Skinny Bones Jones • Small Ones

Superman Wang on a Saturday

Here's Brandon Routh in one of the extras from the "Superman Returns" DVD. It's Brandon in some kind of tight suit showing that Superman does not have a super peen. Maybe he's a grower!

Source

Posted by: admin

2 comments •

Hunks • Small Ones