Kiki Dunst

Kiki's In Rehab

Kiki Dunst is currently getting help at Cirque Lodge in Utah for some sort of substance abuse problem reports Star Magazine. She apparently wanted to get some help after having a few breakdowns. A source said, "She seemed to be intoxicated when she checked in because she was acting really erratic. She was extremely emotional, constantly breaking down in tears. She not in a good place right now, but thankfully, she's getting the help she needs."

Of course she's not in a good place. She's in fucking rehab, Einstein! It's not exactly Disney World.

Eva Mendes is currently getting help at Cirque. They can be bunkmates.

Damn. It seems like everyone's in rehab or the damn pysch ward. They need to put a giant glass bowl over Hollywood and only let them out for special occasions.

Posted by: Michael K

64 comments •

Kiki Dunst • Rehab

Save Kiki!

Is Kiki on the verge of a nervous breakdown? Page Six claims that friends of Kiki are afraid bitch is going to lose it soon. Witnesses say that Kiki showed up to an event at Sundance and "acted erratic." That's just Kiki! She's weird. In fact, we call her "Erratic Kiki."

Friends of Kiki say, "Kirsten is not in a good place right now." She apparently hasn't been herself since splitting up with Johnny Borell. That makes two of us, Kiki. I thought you finally found someone to love your gooey ass.

The psych ward! It's the place to be.

Kiki is fine. Just give her something to bitch and moan at and she'll be fine.

Posted by: Michael K

56 comments •

Kiki Dunst

Sigh......

Thanks to an excellent photographer, tons of make-up, bright lights, photoshop and gallons of white flour and a few prayers, Kiki Dunst doesn't look completely tragic in the new Spring Miu Miu ads. It pains me to say this, because I can't stand the slop of oatmeal. I have to pull out my pubic hairs one by one while I type about Kiki not looking that bad. Oh the humanity!

Actually...on second thought. It some of these pics she looks like an albino bee in need of a good swat. Someone hand me my swatter!

Source: ONTD

Posted by: Michael K

44 comments •

Kiki Dunst

Kelly Slater Has The Worst Taste

Kelly Slater and Kiki Dunst are dating according to Life & Style. The two recently went out on a romantic date to Ago in Los Angeles. A witness said, “They were flirting a lot, smiling and giggling. They were having a fun time, and there was definite chemistry. It looked like they were getting to know each other.”

The witness added that Kiki "was hanging on his every word." No, she was probably smelling him. She's so used to her own nasty stench that when she smells soap it intrigues her.

Kelly has recently been linked to Gis Bundchen, Cameron Diaz, Pamela Anderson and Bar Rafaeli.

At least he'll save money in surf wax. Kiki just has to lay down on his board and rub her grease all over it.

Posted by: Michael K

49 comments •

Gross • Kiki Dunst

Blood Sucker

I despise Kiki Dunst, but I actually love her when she shows the snaggle. She's like the Little Vampire! Anyway, she actually looks decent here but I can see the gross in her eyes.

Kiki's like a Jack-O-Lantern, round faced, snaggle-toothed and rotten on the inside!

Here's Kiki with Karl and Lily Allen at the Chanel show in Paris today. Karl takes souls, so beware.

Posted by: Michael K

54 comments •

Kiki Dunst • Lily Allen

Too Smelly For Smelly

Johnny Borrell said that his relationship with Kiki Dunst didn't work out, because he's too smelly. Too smelly for Kiki?! Kiki looks like she wears stained chonies for days, so you must have to be really stank to offend her ass.

Johnny said, "We were leading different lifestyles. It's over. She believes in equality, that a bloke should chip in with the housework. Fair enough, but I'm messy, and I love messing around with bikes.

"She couldn't stand the smell of stale fags, beer and kebabs in her nice living room. Can't say I blame her, really."

Stale fags? Sounds just like my living room.

That's rich! Kiki the clean freak! Who'da thunk it? If only bitch would care for her own saggy ass the same way she cares for her living room.

Source: The Mirror

Posted by: Michael K

30 comments •

Kiki Dunst

Kiki Got Robbed!

Who robbed Kiki?! Come on! Show me your hands! I'll check them for grease and stank.

Some dude named Jarrod Beinerman of Brooklyn allegedly robbed Kiki blind. Kiki was staying in the penthouse of the SoHo Grand Hotel while shooting some movie. The NY Post reports that Jarrod robbed her ass of a $13,000 Balenciaga purse, wallets, cameras and her iPod.

The thieving went down on August 9th right after Kiki left her room at 4:48 in the morning. Jarrod and another dude waltzed in the hotel after Kiki left, took a freight elevator up to the penthouse and walked into an open door. Genius. Like taking candy from a skank whore.

Police were able to ID the dude using hotel surveillance. He was arrested leaving court for possible heroin-sale charges.

Riddle me this. Homegirl has a $13,000 purse yet she looks like like that? She needs to put that purse on eBay and use the profits to buy some shampoo and Cetaphil or something.

Posted by: Michael K

1 comment •

Kiki Dunst

Love Your Breasts

Breaking news! Kiki still looks like a pile of frump! You know the thing about Kiki is she's not one of those "can't get clean" types. I mean when you throw a tub of Oxyclean, bleach her down and slap some make-up on her she actually doesn't look so bad. She wants to look like she hasn't bathed in light years.

She also needs to show a little love to her breastes. She isn't treating them right. They are depressed. Look at them. They can barely look up. Give them some Prozac Kiki.

Here's Kiki along with Simon Pegg and Megan "I'm so lucky, because my future was headed for a stripper's pole" Fox on the NYC set of "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People."

Splash

Posted by: Michael K

56 comments •

Kiki Dunst

Kiki Needs To Shut Up

Kiki Dunst has just moved into her $4 million North London home in Islington and she's already pissing off the neighbors. Families in the hood have allegedly written the neighborhood council and complained about Kiki's loud partying.

A source said, "Kirsten isn't very popular in Islington at the moment. The locals are incensed that she's changing the tone of the area. She's started spending nights in the local pub by herself chatting to the locals. When closing time comes she invites them all round to her house to continue the party. But it seems the noise levels and people coming and going at all hours is getting to her neighbours."

"They've had enough and apparently three families have written a petition to the council in the hope they'll take some action.

"Where they live used to be a peaceful neighbourhood but now they think it is like party central."

Ironically enough, Kiki is in London shooting "How To Lose Friends & Alienate People."

Despite reports that she's broken with pony-faced Johnny Borrell, the two are still licking lips and stuff.

Kiki wants to be the next Kate Moss so badly. Ugh and she's just the type not give a fuck about the people around her. Oh how I would love to slap her with her own sloppy titties.

Source: Daily Mail

Posted by: Michael K

45 comments •

Kiki Dunst

I Really Didn't Think It Was Possible for Kiki Dunst to Look Any Fuglier

Count Kikula once again proves to me that she's capable of topping her fugly. i mean I have no words for this. Did she take the word "COSTUME" literally? The homeless cowboy and the vampire from hell. UGH! This ruined my day.