Kiki Dunst

I have some Kiki Dunst bashing to do! Such anger, I know. This sack dress is doing nothing to hide her slime. Oh, she's at some art benefit here on Saturday.

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Kiki Dunst posed with the hotness that is Mark Ruffalo at an Oxfam party in Beverly Hills last night. Homegirl better not think of working him. First of all, he's married and second of all he doesn't like his eggs greasy. I'm not sure that was funny, but laugh anyway. Yes, he's short but I can buy him some platforms.

Star Magazine is spreading a rumor that Kiki Dunst is knocked up. What's their reasoning? They claim that she has been sporting a baby bump on the set of Spider-Man 3 and that she's “wearing baggy clothing, ordering big boxes of sweet chocolaty treats, and overheard complaining of lower back pain and nausea during filming”.

I can clear this up. She wears baggy clothes to cover up her slimy ass. She orders big boxes of chocolates to dip in her marshmallow body. She complains, because she's Kiki Dunst! That's what she does!

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It looks like Kiki Dunst has moved on from Jake Gyllenhaal and is dating her "Elizabethtown" co-star, Orlando Bloom. Orlando has recently split from Kate Bosworth. The two apparently got close while filming last year in Kentucky, but both were taken. It looks like they can be free for slimy love in public!

The pair were caught "canoodling" at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles. A source said, "Kate and Orlando are definitely more than just good friends now. They were kissing and cuddling in the corner of the lobby bar and didn't seem to care who saw them. They even stayed past closing time because they were enjoying each other's company."

Orlando must be a homosexual, because he has the worst taste in women. Unless, he likes the slimy types. I mean...with slimy types you don't need lube when you do them in the butt. You know Kiki loves butt sex...especially ass to mouth. Ugh, it's too early for this. I apologize.

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Spider-Man 3 opens May 4, 2007 and the trailer is already out. Tobey Maguire is back as the title character as is Kiki Dunst and James Franco. Thomas Haden Church and Topher Grace play the villians. It looks like the other two if you ask me.

I unfortunately went to see Marie Antoinette last night. Yes, I want to fuck Kiki Dunst with her own snaggletooth, but I buy into hype. My $10 went down the drain. I basically could’ve gotten the same images from a Meat Loaf video. It was all style, no substance.

Many critics agreed with my dumb ass and here are some hot quotes. I love bad reviews:

" Without daddy's money...Coppola's emaciated screenplay would still be moldering on her hard drive as the author worked the 10-4 shift at the Starbucks on Figueroa." – Film Threat

"As for Dunst, there's nothing she does here that couldn't have been done by Jessica Simpson." – Deseret News

So if you want to see this trash, make sure you get drunk and bring some weed. Which will probably get you arrested, but at least you’ll have a much more exciting experience than staying and watching this bore.

That being said, Jamie Donran is in it and he’s the hotness.