Denise Richards

Prostitute Tranny Infested Sperm is so sowwy for calling Denise Richards "the n word" in a voicemail from 2005 that leaked briefly on the internet and was quickly pulled. Yeah, I was really hoping for the remix.

Not only did he called her the n word, but he sweetly told Denise that he hopes she "rots in fucking hell" and then he called her a "fucking cunt." So that's where she learned the word! Although, "fucking cunt" might be her birth name. We should look into that.

Charlie should seriously put these touching words into a love song to Denise. He's such a poet!

Charlie released this statement, “I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings. And for the record, my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation. So three and one-half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voice mail continue to be manifested on a daily basis.” He went on to say, "But Denise is still a fucking dumb cunt." No, he didn't say that, but he wanted to.

Denise said she has no idea how the tapes got leaked. They were court files from two years. Oh...Denise. She doesn't give herself enough credit! Leaking is what she does best. No seriously, I think her old clients paid extra for that service.

She went on to say, “It is what it is and this is something that I’ve been dealing with for a long time. I imagine that the public is bored and sick and tired of hearing about Charlie and Denise and our public custody and divorce battle. I’m sure everyone is tired of it.”

But don't forget to watch her reality shit show, "Denise Richards: I'm Constipated!"

Source: MSNBC

I just have two words for the picture above: OLAN MILLS! Actually, they wish they were as hot as an Olan Mills original. Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller's wedding picture from OK! Magazine is all sorts of awkward. He looks like a used car salesman that was dragged out of the bar for a shotgun wedding to his born-again bride.

Charlie made Brooke his 3rd wifey this past weekend and he used his special day to trash his other wives. He said, "I was telling a couple of friends last night that this feels like my first real marriage. The first one was a show, the second one was a con, and this one is the real deal."

Remember this quote when Brooke divorces Tranny Infested Sperm in a couple of months.

I'm pretty sure that I'm the only living thing on this planet that actually likes Robot Call Girl. And now I love her just a little bit more. Last night on "Denise Richards: I'm Constipated," Denise cursed out some reporter. She didn't use your normal everyday curse word either, she called her a cunt. She said it several times. Much thanks to the hot bitch that programmed that word into Denise's main vocabulary.

The word cunt isn't used enough. It needs more love! How would you feel if you were the word cunt? Nobody uses you! They use bitch, whore, slut, skank, but never cunt! So the next time you need to call someone a "bitch," use cunt instead. You'll probably get shot or stabbed for it, but at least you tried something new!

I'm totally being generous by giving them 6 months, but by the looks of Brooke Mueller it could take her a few to figure out what's really going on. As expected, Charlie Sheen and his prostitute tranny infested sperm married real estate investor Brooke Mueller last night in Los Angeles. Real estate investor? Jeff Lewis from "Flipping Out" she's not! By the by, I'm so fucking excited about Flipping Out coming back. My soul has been empty without Zoila.

Charlie, 42, and Brooke, 30, exchanged lies in front of like 60 dumb bitches who probably laughed the entire time. Well, Charlie saying "I promise to be loyal" is like hearing a hilarious punchline. It is a punchline!

The two became engaged last June in Costa Rica. Probably minutes after Charlie's sperm was infested by another prostitute tranny. Speaking of, it's rumored that Brooke is knocked up with their prostitute tranny baby. I can't what to hear what Denise Richards has to say about this.

Unfortunately, robot call girl did not crash the wedding with her shitty pigs in tow.

Charlie Sheen will marry Brooke Mueller tonight and.....they might be expecting a baby. Hell yes! Call girl robot aka Denise Richards better be putting on a hot leather catsuit, ready to pounce on that wedding and destroy all in her path.

A source told Rush & Molly that Denise knows the wedding is tonight, because her girls are in. She hasn't been told the exact location, "Who knows? She may even crash the event with a camera crew." A bitch can dream! Denise better crash this shit if she knows what's good for her and her boring ass reality show. She needs a major season finale cliffhanger!

If Brooke is pregnant, does this mean she's going to give birth to a prostitute tranny? I mean, Denise Richards did say that Charlie had "prostitute tranny infested sperm" and I sort of believe her. The world could use a few more prostitute trannies, so I'm ok with this.

And it's getting better! This week, Denise Richards accused Charlie Sheen of doctoring an e-mail which claimed she wanted some of his sperm to make another baby. Charlie called her a liar, among other things. Yesterday, Charlie's friend called Denise a liar for saying she's only doing a reality show for money to support her kids. The friend claims the bitch is already getting a shit load of dough from Charlie.

Well......Denise has responded. She told Page Six that Charlie is exploiting the entire situation. She claims she sent him a text message last week telling him one of their daughters was sick and asking him if he was going to attend family day at his other daughter's school. Denise said, "His response was, 'I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.' My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis."

I need to know what's behind the bleep! If he said "fucking whore," then he's a total bastard. If he said "cunt whore," then he's sort of creative and should take up a career in writing.

Denise went on to address the supposed e-mail she sent about Charlie sperm. Yes! This again. She said, "I don't want Charlie's prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We'll leave it at that. I am so over him. He's the one who can't move on. He's disgusting and he's hit an all-time low."

PROSTITUTE-TRANNY-INFESTED SPERM! This bitch is a fucking poet and a comedian. Methinks she's talking about herself and she doesn't even know it.

I adore these two! Their love for each other is an inspiration to us all. I hope they put out a book of their amazing texts and e-mails to each other. It would make for the perfect Valentine's gift to your special someone.

Of course, Charlie had to respond. He said they are bringing in some computer expert to prove the e-mail was sent from her. Who cares? I'm already on Team Robot Call Girl. She had me at "Prostitute-Tranny-Infested Sperm!"

Mother of the year (next to White Oprah), Denise Richards told Larry King that she only did a reality show, because she needed the cash to support her daughters. A friend close to Charlie Sheen told Page Six that Denise a liar.

The friend said, "Denise gets $52,000 a month tax-free in child support. Most people in America can figure out how to live on that, but Denise can't?"

Denise also received $60,000 a month for two years in alimony from Charlie. She also gets a chunk from Charlie's show, "Two And A Half Men." She's expected to make up to $25 million from the show.

That lying bitch! I mean, that lying RICH bitch! Who knew marrying Charlie Sheen was so lucrative? Yes, you have to deal with some fucked up, kinky shit, but it's worth it! I might be able to stomach Charlie going doody on my no-no hole if I knew I would get millions in the end (pun intended). You know that bitch is into some dirty birdy crap.

Here's some pictures of Denise outside TRL studios yesterday looking like a middle-aged, Tennessee stripper arriving in the big city to fulfill her lifelong dream of becoming a Rockette.

The Lohans (see below) aren't the ones whoring out a reality show. Denise Richards is also doing the talk show circuit to promote her own show. It also looks like White Oprah and Denise buy their fugly sunglasses at the same joint. Pimp moms must love looking like whore bees.

Denise was on "Today" this morning where she claimed that Charlie Sheen faked an e-mail she allegedly wrote to his girlfriend.

The e-mail said, "I am having a baby in the next year. By myself...my girlfriend suggested Charlie be the donor ... Charlie and I have very beautiful healthy children together. I was strictly looking for a sperm donor if it's any of your business."

Denise said, "It's a doctored e-mail. I would never send an e-mail to his ex-girl..um... girlfriend, and, at the time of that e-mail, I was with Richie Sambora. If I wanted anybody's sperm, I'd have asked for Richie's." Richie still has sperm? Newsflash! Please, Charlie didn't doctor that shit, because he doesn't know how. The only thing he knows how to do on the computer is watch porn.

Shortly after her "Today" interview, Charlie issued this statement to People, "I will no longer sit back and be egregiously painted as a liar. If any proof can be established that these are not in fact her words and statements verbatim, I openly invite her and would even encourage Ms. Richards to sue me in a court of law. She had an opportunity to tell the truth. She did not. Here is the proof."

The fucking drama. It's like they are characters on "Dynasty." They really should settle this the "Krystle and Alexis" way - catfight in a lilly pond!

Denise was also on "The View" today and Whoopi Goldberg called her ass out for whoring her kids out. Denise acted like a snotty bitch and asked Whoopi if she's seen the first episode, because her kids aren't in it that much.

Whoopi should have punched that robot call girl on the head. How dare she fuck with Whoopi! Clip below:

Entertainment Weekly has named Denise Richards as Dr. Christmas Jones the worst Bond girl of all-time. I agree, but Pierce Brosnan did have the best Bond line ever thanks to Christmas Jones. It was at the end of the movie when Bond and Christmas are doing it on a building or something and he says, "I thought Christmas only came once." I spit out my Mr. Pibb in the movie theater to that line.

Here's the rest of the worst list:

10. Maud Adams as Octopussy in Octopussy
9. Lynn-Holly Johnson as Bibi Dahl in For Your Eyes Only
8. Lois Chiles as Holly Goodhead (amazing name) in Moonraker
7. Cary Lowell as Pam Bouvier in License to Kill
6. Britt Ekland as Mary Goodnight in The Man with the Golden Gun
5. Karin Dor as Helga Brandt in You Only Live Twice
4. Maryam D'Abo as Kara Milovy in The Living Daylights
3. Corrine Clery as Corrine Dufour in Moonraker
2. Tanya Roberts as Stacey Sutton in A View to a Kill
1. Denise Richards as Dr. Christmas Jones in The World is Not Enough

And the best:

10. Carole Bouquet as Melina Havelock in For Your Eyes Only
9. Jill St. John as Tiffany Case in Diamonds are Forever
8. Lotte Lenya as Rosa Klebb in From Russia with Love
7. Michelle Yeoh as Wai Lin in Tomorrow Never Dies
6. Famke Janssen as Xenia Onatopp in Goldeneye
5. Barbara Bach as Anya Amasova in The Spy Who Loved Me
4. Eva Green as Vesper Lynd in Casino Royale
3. Diana Rigg as Tracy Di Vicenzo in On Her Majesty's Secret Service
2. Honor Blackman as Pussy Galore in Goldfinger
1. Ursula Andress as Honey Ryder in Dr. No

Where's Grace Jones, Jane Seymour, Kim Basinger and Teri Snatcher?! Kim, Jane and Teri can all go on the worst list. Grace definitely needed to be on the best. She really should have played James Bond instead, but her Bond girl was one of my faves.

Denise as the worst is on point. Denise as a research scientist? She can't even spell that.

Image: Rope of Silicon

Denise Richards is allowed to whore her kids out despite the fact that their father disagrees with it. Denise took Charlie Sheen to family court yesterday after he refused to give permission for his two little girls, Sam & Lola, to participate in a reality show with Denise.

Denise somehow convinced the judge to let her do the show with her girl, but he set certain restrictions. It's unknown what those restrictions are, but Denise is apparently happy with hit.

Oh and I know how she "convinced" him. The same way she "convinced" Charlie to rescue her from Heidi Fleiss' harem!

I want to know the premise of this reality show, because Denise is about as exciting as a warm plate of diarrhea.

Source: iVillage