Celine Dion

Tuesday, August 18th 2009

The Greatest Singah In Dah Woooorld Is Knocked Up

UPDATE: Celine's rep confirms to UsWeekly that rumors are true, "We can confirm she is pregnant. Celine and René are very happy. They are crazy in love over the news ... they are overjoyed." My frozen embryo will go on!!!!

Lying in Celine Dion's magical womb might be a fetus with long flowing locks (which she will never cut) and a singing voice that can cure cancer. That's because word on the block is that 41-year-old Celine Dion is pregnant with her second child. The Journal de Montreal (via The Montreal Gazette) says that kayak's #1 fan and her 300-year-old husband, Rene Angelil, conceived with the help a team of fertility gods (aka some doctors in NYC).

Their first baby friend, (roll your Rs if you know what's good for you) Rene-Charles, is already 8 years old.

Celine has yet to confirm or deny the rumors.

While researching this story (BECAUSE I'M A SERIOUS JOURNALIST!!!), I googled "Celine Dion baby" and this is the first picture that came up:

The internet: Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose.

Posted by: Michael K


Friday, May 23rd 2008

Scary

I'm not sure if Celine Dion's wax figure looks exactly like her or if it sorts of looks like a cross-eyed chipmunk with a dirty wig on. Or both? However, the wax figure of Celine's pepaw husband looks exactly like him. It's not right. Why would anyone want a fucking wax figures of themselves? It's evil shit.

Here's Celine, Pepaw and their son, Rene-Charles, in France yesterday. Yes, Rene-Charles hair is looooooong. Don't hate. Lindsay Lohan would be so jealous.

Wenn

Posted by: Michael K


Wednesday, February 20th 2008

All Eyes On Me

What the hell has got Rene-Charles so distracted? He's probably spotted some scissors on the table over there and is waiting to make a run for it. Do it Rene! Whenever you get the chance. You'll be cutting away years of strangers calling you a "cute little girl." Trust me, I know.

Source: Hello! Canada

Posted by: Michael K


Sunday, January 27th 2008

Celine Dion Knows How To Entertain

Below is a video of Celine Dion on the French version of American Idol called "Star Academy." Celine was on this past Friday to help announce the finalists. Celine helped announce them the only way she knows how, by screeching and hollering like a cow getting branded. This shit is bizarre. Towards the end of the clip, Celine is asked to pull out a golden ball from a bowl and she does it while singing "What have I gottaaaa doooo to make you looooaaaoooooooaaaaveeeee me." She never stops singing! She's a singing force to be reckoned with. She probably sings that shit while her French Pepaw husband has his golden balls in her mouth. I fucking love her. She should replace Paula Abdul on Idol. Shit, she should replace Paula, Randy and Simon.

Here's pic of Celine and French Pepaw at the NRJ Music Awards in Cannes.


Thanks Ghislain

Posted by: Michael K


Sunday, December 16th 2007

Celine Dion Is Done

 
Celine Dion played her final show last night in Las Vegas. Celine began her run 5 years ago and ended with a kiss from her 150-year-old husband and her 7-year-old daughter...I mean son.
 
Celine's "A New Day Show" has grossed more than $400 million. Bette Midler will begin her sit down in February. Celine won't get much of a break since she's going to hit the road on a world tour. 
 
TomKat attended Celine's last show. The homos and their divas. So loyal.  
 
 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, November 22nd 2007

Celine Dion Is A Baby

 
Celine Dion accepted an invitation from the mayor of Halifax to perform in their fair hamlet in 2008. Celine agreed, but then pulled out claiming she doesn't want to perform in a city that gives her bad press after a few journalists wrote some negative articles on her.
 
Celine's pepaw husband and manager said, "If we're not welcome in Halifax, we won't go. If it sparks controversy there, if it's a problem, we won't go!"
 
Other sources say Celine cancelled, because the venue wasn't good enough for her. She wanted fireworks and flying pianos and shit.
 
Celine needs to get a new manager, because that pepaw is talking crazy in his old age. Celine runs away because of a little name calling, but what about the fans that made her the richest horsie in the world?! 
 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Monday, November 19th 2007

I Hope You're On The Phone With Your Shrink.....

Celine "The Greatest Singer in the World!!!!" Dion dazzled us with her presence at the American Music Awards last night. I love seeing this crazy horse perform, because she turns it on. She's got moves and isn't afraid to use them. Las Vegas has really turned her into a trained performer and when I say "trained performer" I mean drag queen.

It's like Mr. Ed put on a wig, individual fake eyelashes, ten tons of make-up and could suddenly sing. That's Celine and I love her.




Posted by: Michael K


Wednesday, May 30th 2007

Celine Dion and SON?!

 
Celine Dion and Rene-Charles grace the cover of  Hello! Magazine. Ok, homegirl...I mean homeboy only looks like a chick, because of the hair. Other than, he looks like a boy and not a bad looking boy either. Celine is airbrushed to the extreme.
 
Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, April 26th 2007

Not Music History


American Idol promised us "music history" with a duet between two mega-stars last night. What we got was a crazy bird performing next to a cheap hologram. I've seriously seen more realistic effects from "Land of the Lost."

That being said, Celine Dion wasn't annoying and I sort of enjoyed her part. The whole thing was just cheesed out to the max and they should not be calling it "music history."

Posted by: Michael K


Monday, April 23rd 2007

I'm Stabbing Out My Ears as I Type This

 
Last week, Ryan Gaycrest said on this week's huge "Idol Gives Back" show, two legendary performers will duet. TMZ reports those two performers will be Celine "I'm the Greatest Singer in the World!" Dion and Elvis. WHY?!!!!!!
 
The rumor is that an Elvis stand-in will duet "If I Can Dream" with Celine and then a virtual Elvis will be put in for the TV audience. CHEESE MAX. 
 
Didn't she already do this Frank Sinatra? Ugh, you might as well burn out your ear drums now. 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


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