Jessica Simpson

In order for this cover to work, Elle needed to put even more text over Jessica's face and body. Actually, they should have just left Jessica out and covered the whole thing in words.

This is some major fuckery right here! Jessica's waist hasn't looked like that since birth! I know she wants to be cuntry and all, but this is overkill. They might as well have put a ten-gallon on her fugly head with the words "YEE HAW!" splattered over the cover.

In addition to giving them a truly fugly cover, Jessica talked to Elle about being a victim of abuse, "There’s nothing on my album that you’re gonna hear that I don’t relate to or that I haven’t experienced. Because the only way I know how to sing is from life experience. I don’t want to talk about it, but I have definitely experienced abuse in a way that I would tell people to take their heart and run.” Cut to all eyes moving to Daddy Joe shifting in his seat, biting his fingernails, and blinking like a guilty hooker with Tourettes.

And Jessica is a major liar! She said that forgetting the words to "9 to 5" while singing for the president and Dolly Parton changed her life, "Anyway, I broke down and said I’m sorry in front of the whole audience. My dad was there. I looked him in the face and said, ‘I will never sing again.’ “

But she did sing again.... Big tittied liar mouth!

Source: Sweet Kisses

This is the cover for Jessica Simpson's first cuntry album. The cover fits Jessica perfectly! It's cheap, boring and underwhelming. Just like her! I would say it looks like fan art, but does this bitch still have fans? This cover is still better than Papa Joe's idea. He probably wanted Jessica sucking on a lollipop while wearing a "Papa Joe's little girl" crop top that barely covered her nipples.

Doesn't the title need a question mark? Wait, I get it. Jessica's dumb face is the question mark.

Source: Sweet Kisses

Ken Paves is totally telling Jessica Simpson, "You dumb bitch! I was only joking when I said that all the country bitches were wearing trash bags." At first, I thought Jessica was wearing Stella's trash bag dress from Project Runway. I know it's just the pattern of the dress that's making it look it's from the Hefty collection, but it's still fug as hell.

Jessica was out with my girl crush, Ken Paves, in NYC last night. Jessica's foot claws were also out. Way out. In the last thumbnail, it looks like her toes are about to grab that ciggie. Now that's talent!

It's nice to see Daisy is still alive and well. I bet that bitch was one of the first whores to start booing Jessica Simpson at Country Thunder in Wisconsin on Saturday night. Jessica made her cuntry debut at the musical festival and some bitches were not amused. The Kenosha News reports that when Jessica took the stage, half of the audience started booing and the other half cheered her ass. The half who cheered were paid by Papa Joe. Papa Joe probably shouted, "Show us your tits!" through her entire performance.

One audience member said, "She's an embarrassment to country music." Another one said, "It's crap. She doesn't belong here." Yup, that sounds about right.

Just looking at these pictures make me want to boo and hiss at her. She always looks like she's getting DPed when she's performing. I know Papa Joe likes it that way, but bitch needs to shut her hole. Even the flies aren't interested in flying into her mouth anymore. They are like, "Been there, done that."

This is the video for Jessica Simpson's extremely annoying cuntry single "Come On Over." Yeah, I'll come on over to slap the shit out of that big-tittied frog. At the beginning of the video, I kept waiting for the words "Meet Singles In Your Area Tonight" to pop up on the screen.

The rest of the video is pretty cliche. Jessica in a pick-up truck. Jessica sitting on the porch. She forgot the cowboy hat and line dancing.

This song seriously make my ears cry. That could be a good thing actually. Cleans out the wax!

Source

Pornstar and overall haggard skank, Pamela Anderson, had this to say about Jessica Simpson during a radio interview in Australia:

"I think she is a bitch and whore. "

Obviously, Pamela has never looked in the mirror and has never googled her whorey bitch ass! Pamela's kind word for Jessica were in response to Jessica wearing a "Real Girls Eat Meat" t-shirt. Peta's #1 jack-off partner went on to say, “Actually, I don't know if she was talking about food or men."

There's really only one way to settle this new feud: CAGE FIGHT! Nude cage fight with lots and lots of raw meat! And when I say "raw meat," I'm not talking about Jess and Pammy's coochies.

Source: The Sun

Jessica Simpson is doing the rounds to promote her new cuntry album. Jess talked to K-FROG 95.1 in Colton, CA about all the rumors surrounding creepy ass Papa Joe. Jess said, "There have been stories that are ridiculous. Like my father really fit me for a training bra. Like, who believes that kind of thing!?"

Okay, I've never heard that one before! But now that she mentions it... Papa Joe probably helped with her first tampon and first breast lump check. He's a hands-on daddy!

Jess also talked about her first cuntry album, "I really just wanted to showcase the talent that God has given me and I don't believe that in pop music I ever had the chance to stand on two feet and stand firm."

God given talent?! "The talent God has given her" would be best showcased in Hustler magazine and not in music!

Below is the entire interview with K-FROG. Big tittied frog on K-FROG!

VIA UsWeekly

Peta has temporarily taken their aim off of the Trollsens and moved it on to Jessica Simpson. They are pissed off at Jess for wearing this fugly ass t-shirt the other day. Peta released this statement:

For a gal who's best known for her less-than-stellar brains (Chicken of the Sea, anyone?) and her ability to proportionately fill out daisy dukes, I'm gonna go on record saying that if anyone had to wear a ridiculous shirt like this, I'm glad it was Jessica—as people are more likely to follow the opposite of her lead ... ya know, since she's so well respected and all (yes, that was difficult to type without tossing in a hefty LOL). Maybe the meat-eaters of the world will be embarrassed to be categorized in the same field as Jessica Simpson.

Peta goes on to list the Top 5 reasons why only "stupid girls brag about eating meat."

1. Meat increases the risk of breast cancer
2. Real girls don't support animal abuse
3. The meat industry is destroying the Earth
4. Meat will make you fat
5. Eating meat steals food from starving kids

You can visit their site for all the details for each of their 5 reasons.

Some seem to think that Jessica wore the shirt as a diss to Tony Romo's ex, Carrie Underwears. This dumb twat can't even read! Like she knows what her t-shirt says. Papa Joe told her to wear it because bitch needs press.

And all this meat talk has me craving a juicy steak with a tall glass of hamburger juice.

Ken Paves needs to bury his turtle head into the sand for allowing Jessica Simpson to go outside looking like that! It would take Paves a quick minute to touch up those roots. I bet he cums hair bleach, so a couple of strokes and Jessica is all set! Even the hot bitch behind Jessica is embarrassed to be seen with her. She's thinking, "I'm glad I came with Jessica. This haggard bitch is making me look hot!"

Here's Jess with her hot bitch of a friend arriving at Nobu in NYC last night. Oh and her fug ass purse looks like a placemat made from vinyl swatches.

In an attempt to win over more country music fans, Jessica Simpson dragged her annoying ass to the CMA Music Festival Block Party in Nashville last night. It might just be me, but she's looking a little on the knocked up side. It could just be desperation bloat.

Jess' cuntry single, "Come on Over," isn't doing that shitty on the country charts. It debuted at No. 41 on Billboard's country single charts.

Tony Romo was not with her last night. He was too busy digging a hole to Mongolia to escape Papa Joe. UsWeekly reports that one of the main reasons for Jess and Romo splitting last month had to do with Papa asking Romo to drop his manager. Papa Joe wants to handle Romo's career. I'm sure that's not all he wants to handle.

Papa also told Romo and Jess that he will broker a deal to sell their engagement and wedding information to a magazine the way he did with Asshole and Pete.

Papa defended himself by saying, “It’s unfair to criticize me for what every manager does for his or her clients. And in this business, where people can quickly turn on you, who better than a parent to be working for his children?"

Papa might have a point, but do all managers jack into their clients' panty drawers? I'm just asking!