Matthew McConagay

Kate Hudson looked like he was having some sort of wardrobe malfunction during the London premiere of "Foolio's Gold" today. That's what the bitch gets for stealing one of Blanche Devereaux's dresses. It's too small for her ass. Kate needed an extra pair of Spanx to suck her in even more. Matthew looked like he tried to help her, but that stoner isn't much help.

Somebody go throw some sand, sweat and pig blood on Matt. He looks too clean and that obviously makes him uncomfortable. Shit, throw some patchouli on him! That crap reeks like butt oil. It does and don't try to tell me otherwise, hippies.

Matthew McConaughey might have another reason to keep his shirt off. He has been offered the role of Thomas Magnum in the Magnum P.I. movie. Entertainment Weekly reports that Mattey is reading the script from the dude who wrote Dodgeball and will make a decision. As long as it's in his contract that he doesn't have to bathe or wear a shirt, he'll do it.

Magnum P.I. ran from 1980 - 1988 and starred Tom Selleck as a Navy Seal turned detective in Hawaii.

I wasn't allowed to watch this show when I was little. My mother would obsessively watch it though. She would go in her room and lock the door. I don't even want to know what went on in there. It was a bitch washing off the snail tracks from the TV screen the next day.

Yes, Hollyweird is remaking another TV show. They are running of TV shows to remake. It's only a matter of time before they start dipping into the 90s. Acapulco H.E.A.T. is totally next.

Matthew McConaughey knew Camila Alves was the girl of his drams when he found out that she can go a week without showering. Matthew is serious about his stank! He has admitted that he hasn't used deodorant for 20 years. One of Camila's business partners, Pamela DePalma, told InTouch (via Celebitchy), “He said he finally met a girl who can go without a shower for a week - someone he can go mountain climbing and hiking with. Camila is incredibly easygoing.”

In Camila's defense, there's no point in showering regularly if you're fucking McConaughey. Why bother? You're back to being stanky the minute he puts his hands on your body. I just hope they clean off the baby jelly when she gives birth. McConaughey is probably going to rub it all over his body. His crazy ass probably thinks it will bring him closer to the baby.

I've tried to go a few days without showering, but it's impossible. I've been programmed to show every single day. Besides, the shower is the only place I can cry in peace for all the sins I committed the night before. There's something cleansing about weeping while hot water is pouring down your back.

Matthew McConaughey really wants to name his baby boy after a beer. Matthew claims that his brother, Rooster McConaughey, named his second son Miller Lyte after his favorite beer. Star Magazine reports that Matthew loves the name so much, but Camilla Alves isn't having any of it. Camilla is 5-months pregnant with his son and wants a more traditional name. Leave it to that bitch to kill all the fun.

A source said, "She's pretty old-fashioned. She won't let Matthew push her into this." I need to have a talk with Camilla, because Matthew must get his wish. This would be the most awesome celebrity baby name ever!

But what's Matthew's beer of choice? Pabst Blue Ribbon? Beast Ice? Bud? Genny? The Possibilities are endless and any of those names will do.

Nothing makes a self-proclaimed macho man feel like a real diva like a cheap ass wig. Look at Matthew McConaughey. He's loving it. He's totally imagining that he's on the stage about to burst into a fabulous rendition of "I'm Every Woman." I actually thought he was Jennifer Aniston for a second. I thought, "Damn, Aniston is looking sexy hot."

Here's Matty and Jennifer Garner on the Boston set of The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past.

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Matthew McConaughey has been around NYC promoting that "Foolio's Gold" shit and he's looking so clean. He looks like he actually bathed a few times. I don't like it. I even pressed my nose up against my computer screen hoping to get a whiff of body odor or something. I got a slight scent of Irish Spring mixed with Pert Plus. This isn't right. He looks like he's the one running for President.

I love, love, love Camilla Alves and she's my new favorite gold digger. Love is just another four-letter word in Hollywood. Sorry.

Camilla is gorgeous and she was smart to get knocked up so quickly. She escorted Matthew McConaughey to the "Fool's Gold" premiere last night. I'm surprised T-Rex was able to get his arm completely around her. That's probably an artificial extend-o-hand he uses for this very occasion. There's no way his itty bitty arm can reach that far.

Source, Wenn

Matthew McConaughey plans to embrace the chunk for his next movie role. While his lady's belly gets big, so will Matt's. T-Rex Matt will play an over-the-hill bar brawler in new movie The Grackle. Matt said he will have to let his usual work-out routine go, so he can put on a few pounds.

He said, "My character... needs to be bull strong but meaty. Watching it happen will be fun. There should be some funny stories in the tabloids because I'll still have to go out and get my belly tan."

This bitch is loving it. Now he can tell everyone he's smoking pot 24-hours a day to gain chunk for his new movie role. He's probably attaching his ass to a volcano vaporizer. All his weed dreams have come true.

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Thanks m.e.

Camilla Alves left the trailer the other day to pick up some groceries in Malibu. Matthew McConaughey's future baby mama showed a slight bump. Bump watch! Matthew stayed behind to guard the trailer. Hopefully they will upgrade to a single-family home when baby comes.

I'm already liking this girl. At least she's actually smiling. Probably because she knows she's carrying a gold mine in her belly. I know, I'm so cynical. They are in love. Real, true love.

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Close your legs ladies if you don't want to get knocked up, because another one has got bitten!It's in the air. Matthew McConaughey is expecting a baby with his girlfriend, Camilla Alves. He wrote on his website, "My girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together ... its 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far."

He totally wrote that when he was stoned. What am I saying? He's always stoned. I'm surprised he didn't fall up his announcement with "my spermies works!" I can't wait to hear what name these two come up with and by "these two" I mean him.