Music

Wednesday, September 12th 2007

Lazies

 
The White Stripes have cancelled their entire U.S. tour, because of Meg White's acute anxiety. They were supposed to play 18 dates beginning this Thursday. A statement was made that Meg can't travel due to her anxiety.
 
The statement went on, "The White Stripes sincerely apologize to their fans. We hate to let people down and are very sorry." None of the shows have been rescheduled as of yet.
 
That's what meds are for. She should mix a little Xanax with a little Vicodin and wash it down with some Jack. Does the trick every single time.  
 
Being famous is way better than not being famous. Imagine telling your boss that you can't work because of "acute anxiety." You'd be cleaning out your desk by the end of the day.  
 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Tuesday, August 7th 2007

Do We Still Care About These?

 
Justin Timberlake led the MTV Video Music Whatever nominations today. Justin was tied with Beyonce for 7 nominations total, followed by Kanye, Rihanna and Amy WINO.
 
The show will be broadcast live on MTV of course on September 9th at 9 from Las Vegas.
 
Justin, Rihanna, Amy WINO and Lily Allen will perform with a bunch of other people. Here's a partial list of nominees:

Video of the Year
» Amy Winehouse: "Rehab"
» Beyoncé: "Irreplaceable"
» Justice: "D.A.N.C.E."
» Justin Timberlake: "What Goes Around ... "
» Kanye West: "Stronger"
» Rihanna (featuring Jay-Z): "Umbrella"

Male Artist of the Year
» Akon: "Don't Matter," "I Wanna Love You" (featuring Snoop Dogg), "Smack That" (featuring Eminem)
» Kanye West: "Can't Tell Me Nothing," "Stronger," "Classic (Better Than I've Ever Been" — DJ Premier remix, featuring Nas, KRS-One and Rakim)
» Justin Timberlake: "Let Me Talk To You/ My Love," "SexyBack" (featuring Timbaland), "What Goes Around ... "
» T.I.: "Big Things Poppin' (Do It)," "You Know What It Is" (featuring Wyclef Jean), "What You Know"
» Robin Thicke: "Can U Believe," "Lost Without U," "Wanna Love You Girl" (remix, featuring Busta Rhymes and Pharrell)

Female Artist of the Year
» Amy Winehouse: "Rehab," "You Know I'm No Good"
» Beyoncé: "Irreplaceable," "Beautiful Liar" (featuring Shakira)
» Fergie: "Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal)," "Glamorous" (featuring Ludacris), "Fergalicious" (featuring Will.I.Am)
» Nelly Furtado: "Maneater," "Say It Right"
» Rihanna: "Umbrella" (featuring Jay-Z)

Best New Artist
» Amy Winehouse: "Rehab," "You Know I'm No Good"
» Carrie Underwood: "Before He Cheats"
» Gym Class Heroes: "Clothes Off," "Cupid's Chokehold/ Breakfast in America"
» Lily Allen: "Alfie," "Smile," "LDN"
» Peter Bjorn and John: "Young Folks"
 
Click here to see the entire list. I'm still surprised they do this shit. It feels so 80s to me. Justice better win video of the year. That shit is awesome.
 
I also hope Justin shaves that pubic hair beard (I'm not talking about Biel) by then.
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Tuesday, July 3rd 2007

Kelly Clarkson Takes Reba's Man

 
Kelly Clarkson recently fired her manager and she's just replaced him with Reba McEntire's current manager and husband.
 
He said, "Kelly is an incredible talent with an unlimited future. We are thrilled to be working with her."
 
Ok. Kelly is totally eating Reba's firecrotch, right? I've heard several rumors that Reba was lesbionic.  I even heard that Reba had a fling with Rosie O'Donnell. ACK! Probably not true, but it's a pleasant image.
 
Here's Kelly not being fat a few days ago on the Morning Show. 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, June 14th 2007

Boy George Cancel's His Entire Tour

 
Boy George was set to begin a UK tour this October, but he has just issued a statement that he will not be making beautiful music after all.
 
The statement read, "It is with regret that Boy George's October live dates will be cancelled until further notice. This is due to various other "last minute" commitments which unfortunately now clash with the UK dates.

"George would like to personally apologise to his fans and hopes to see you again very soon. Thank you for you continued support."

 
I don't know what's more shocking: Boy George still touring or that he actually has other plans. My guess would be that his "other commitments" involve several broken light bulbs and an economy sized jar of KY. 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Friday, March 16th 2007

Simon Cowell Likes to Brag

Simon Cowell dresses like a gay on a budget, but he's still richer than most of us combined. He isn't shy to say it either. He told Anderson Cooper in an interview for 60 Minutes that he's five times richer than Bruce Springsteen. The Boss is worth around $100 million.

He said he sells more records than Bruce, because he basically gets a cut out of the sales from ALL the former Idol contestants. The winner and runner-ups of Idol in every country are signed to labels within the Sony family.

"By doing Idol I signed the biggest artist on the planet and it's called Idol because every single Idol winner is now signed through Sony BMG. And this applies to ...all countries... we sell Idol to, which is over 30 countries."

His man boobies are looking much more attractive now.

Source

Posted by: Michael K


Tuesday, March 13th 2007

Starbucks Has a Record Label?!

Paul McCartney has dumped Capitol records after 43-years to sign with Starbucks' new record label. Paul also plans to take his entire catalog with him. He will be the first artist to sign with the Hear Music label with an album coming out this Fall.

A source said, "They knew it was coming. They did nothing for the Chaos album, and they were reminded that McCartney's entire contract was ending."

Starbucks is getting into music? Gross. It's bad enough I have to pay $8 for a coffee drink, I can imagine what they are going to charge a CD. By the way, Wings was the greatest band ever. Hahaha..

Source

Posted by: Michael K


Friday, December 15th 2006

Just Don't Let Him Drive

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UK driver of the year and pop star, George Michael, is bringing his drunk ass to the United States! Georgie will start his first US tour in over 15 years this coming Spring. He has had several run-ins with the law and is trying to clean up his image.

He currently just finished a successful European tour. I love his ass, but just don't let him drive and keep him away from the public toilets. I still laugh picturing his ass getting caught trying to do sex in a park bathroom!

Source

Posted by: admin


Wednesday, December 13th 2006

What is the Saddest Song Ever?

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Dr Harry Witchel is an expert in physiology and music and was asked by Nokia UK to conduct a study to find the saddest song ever. He analyzed people's physical reactions to certain songs and came up with a short list. He measured their "tune trigger quotient" measuring heart rate, respiratory response and skin temperature to find the saddest, happiest and most exhilarating tracks.

The happiest songs were LDN by Lily Allen, Dancing Queen by Abba and Shiny Happy People by REM.

The saddest song ever was The Drugs Don't Work by The Verve.

Dr. Harry said, "Music is undeniably powerful at triggering different emotional states. Changes in tempo and frequencies induce profoundly different emotional states."

Personally, any song by Parasite Hilton is the saddest. Her slutwhore voice makes me want to scoop out my genitals with a rusty spoon.

Source

Posted by: admin


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