Music

Simon Cowell dresses like a gay on a budget, but he's still richer than most of us combined. He isn't shy to say it either. He told Anderson Cooper in an interview for 60 Minutes that he's five times richer than Bruce Springsteen. The Boss is worth around $100 million.

He said he sells more records than Bruce, because he basically gets a cut out of the sales from ALL the former Idol contestants. The winner and runner-ups of Idol in every country are signed to labels within the Sony family.

"By doing Idol I signed the biggest artist on the planet and it's called Idol because every single Idol winner is now signed through Sony BMG. And this applies to ...all countries... we sell Idol to, which is over 30 countries."

His man boobies are looking much more attractive now.

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Paul McCartney has dumped Capitol records after 43-years to sign with Starbucks' new record label. Paul also plans to take his entire catalog with him. He will be the first artist to sign with the Hear Music label with an album coming out this Fall.

A source said, "They knew it was coming. They did nothing for the Chaos album, and they were reminded that McCartney's entire contract was ending."

Starbucks is getting into music? Gross. It's bad enough I have to pay $8 for a coffee drink, I can imagine what they are going to charge a CD. By the way, Wings was the greatest band ever. Hahaha..

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UK driver of the year and pop star, George Michael, is bringing his drunk ass to the United States! Georgie will start his first US tour in over 15 years this coming Spring. He has had several run-ins with the law and is trying to clean up his image.

He currently just finished a successful European tour. I love his ass, but just don't let him drive and keep him away from the public toilets. I still laugh picturing his ass getting caught trying to do sex in a park bathroom!

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Dr Harry Witchel is an expert in physiology and music and was asked by Nokia UK to conduct a study to find the saddest song ever. He analyzed people's physical reactions to certain songs and came up with a short list. He measured their "tune trigger quotient" measuring heart rate, respiratory response and skin temperature to find the saddest, happiest and most exhilarating tracks.

The happiest songs were LDN by Lily Allen, Dancing Queen by Abba and Shiny Happy People by REM.

The saddest song ever was The Drugs Don't Work by The Verve.

Dr. Harry said, "Music is undeniably powerful at triggering different emotional states. Changes in tempo and frequencies induce profoundly different emotional states."

Personally, any song by Parasite Hilton is the saddest. Her slutwhore voice makes me want to scoop out my genitals with a rusty spoon.

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