Crazy

Remember last month when one woman was almost stabbed to death, because she wouldn't stop talking during "America's Next Top Model?" Well, it seems Tyra Banks makes the people of Seattle go crazy!

Last Friday, a teacher in her twenties told her brother, also in his twenties, to stop playing videos games, because she wanted to watch a recorded episode of Top Model. The brother got pissed and threw the video game remote at her. It hit her hand and the TV. The woman then went for the wall socket to pull out the cord from his video game. The brother tried to stop her and they started to wrestle. The sister then called 911 and her young brother ran from the house.

The fuzz found "red marks and a small bruise" on the woman and a scraped knee. She declined medical attention.

Seattle needs to cancel Top Model already. Actually, that may start a city-wide riot. What they really need to do is put Ty Ty on trial for disturbing the peace!

Source

Thanks Steven

When James Brown passed away, his woman was locked out of his mansion and left crying at the gates! Remember that hot bitch? Well, Tomi Rae Hynie has had the last laugh! Wait, I can't help but not giggle like a teen girl after her first bong hit whenever I hear the word "Hynie." It's like hiney. I'm not drunk, I swear.

An attorney has confirmed that James Brown is indeed the father of her 6-year-old son, James Brown II. Peter Shahid, little James' attorney, told the AP that the boy was tested in April.

A judge in South Carolina ordered the DNA test after the trustees of James' estate suggested Tomi wasn't legally married to James and that her son isn't his. Tomi and little James Brown were not mentioned in his will.

The results of the court-ordered test have not been released.

Quick! The Insider needs to run over to Hynie's shanty house and get her comment STAT! The woman knows how to give an interview. Need I remind you:

And here are some pics of Hynie with little James at the Grammys this past February.

YouTube superstar and owner of the craziest eyes in the world, Tricia Walsh Smith, has put her wedding dress up on eBay for charity. Tricia has donated her custom made Yumi Katsura wedding gown to the Wounded Warrior Project. Tricia wore the dress when she married Philip Smith. The dress is a size 10, but it has been altered to a size 6. Sure. That's what all the crazies say.

The dress also comes from a smoke and pet free home. But not a crazy free home.

As you may have heard, Tricia was kicked out of her Park Avenue apartment this past weekend by her hubby. She has promised to make more YouTube rants, but from a different location.

Tricia is a crazy bitch without a home! Why the hell is she donating the proceeds to charity! She needs that money to buy a motor home or a teepee or whatever.

Furthermore, who the hell would buy that dress? It's cursed! Wearing that dress will immediately make your eyes bulge out and you will stop blinking. It will also lead to you "slagging off" your husband on YouTube and harassing his co-workers about how he doesn't fuck you. Nothing good can come out of wearing that frock.

Get your shit at David's Bridal instead.

Thanks Mercedes

Last night, I posted a clip of Paula Abdul confusing us and herself when she let the Vicodin tea get the best of her while judging Jason Castro. Paula judged Jason for two songs even though he sang just one. Paula tried to explain to ET what the hell happened.

Paula said, "It got very confusing ... the producers come up to us in the dark and said, 'We are not going to have you guys judge after each performer, we are going to have all the performers go once, then twice and at the end critique them. "

Paula said this surprised her, so she quickly tried to write notes for all performances. When Ryan called on her to judge Jason, she got confused, "I was trying to give my critique for Jason Castro, and scribbled Jason's name, and that was DAVID [COOK]'s! ... We all just screwed up everything. This is live television. This is fun!"

Oh Paula! Just take another sip from your Coca-Cola cup, sit in the corner and count all the little elves you see scurrying around in front of you. I'm sure that will keep you busy for a few hours.

Thank the fuck for Paula Abdul! She was the only source of real entertainment on last night's show! I even forgot what the hell any of them sang. The only thing I remember is Fetus Archuleta belting out "America." He's no Kristy Lee Cook and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

Basically, the toddler and David Cook are safe. Those two saps are going to battle it out in the finals. Please, this has been planned for weeeeeeks. So...here's my bottom 2:

Brooke White: It's this snatch's time. I can't stand to look at her "secretary trying to be fashionable" outfits anymore. I also find myself making her "woe is me" grimace whenever she comes onstage. I can already predict how she's going to ruin a song before she starts singing. She sits at the piano and does her absolute worse Tori Amos impersonation. Bitch is going home tonight and I'll toast to that!

Syesha Mercado: It's either Jason or this Broadway fag. The stoners will keep Jason alive for a couple more weeks. He's final 3.

Honestly, they should just eliminate all of those hags and declare Paula Abdul the winner of American Idol. She's one of the only reasons for watching this shit anymore.

Clip of Paula's insanity in case you missed it:

The ultimate Claymate might have been found. Clay Gayken is currently starring on Broadway in "Spermalot" and one Claymate has already seen it 40 times. Seeing Gayken 40 times will make even the sanest person go nuts. Sources tell Gatecrasher that the women waits by the stage door for Gayken and the other actors.

One actor asked the woman why she loves Gayken so much, she answered the only way a crazed Claymate would answer, "He is the Savior." A Savior to whom? A group of bear tops with blue balls?

A source said the woman starts waiting by the stage door at 9 in the morning. She tries to talk to anybody that will listen to her, "She says talking to the other actors, she feels a step closer to Clay." If you see this bitch, proceed with caution. She's delusional enough to mistake you for Clay Gayken and hump you to death with her memaw vadge.

Actually, I bet you the crazed Claymate is Cynthia Nixon's butch girlfriend in a lady wig. Well, she obviously has a taste for Ginger Dykes!

A 42-year-old woman was stabbed in the neck and chest on Wednesday night by some crazy bitch, because she was too loud during an episode of "America's Next Top Model." Damn, I was upset that Lauren was eliminated too, but it's not that serious.

The victim and her friends were drinking beer and watching the show in a Seattle apartment when the crazy bitch told the victim to stop talking so loud during the show. The two started screaming at each other which led to a fight and one of them getting their hair pulled out.

The crazy bitch then pulled out a knife from a nearby apple and started stabbing the woman. Friends were able to break up the fight and the police were called. The woman was rushed to the hospital. She also told friends that her money was taken.

The fact that a knife was in an apple on the kitchen table tells me a lot. SeattlePi reports that the crazy bitch who stabbed the woman is still at large!

On the next Tyra Banks Show! Tyra talks about her near-death experience with a crazed stalker who stabbed another woman with an apple knife to get closer to her! TyTy is going to milk this shit.

VIA TMZ

Thanks Steven

Manicurists all over the Tri-State area have closed shop early upon hearing the news that Foxy Brown has been released from the chokey. 29-year-old Foxy served 8 months of a 12 month sentence for attacking 2 hos over a $20 manicure.

Foxy is due back in court on May 5th for allegedly pulling a Naomi Campbell on a neighbor. Send the bitch back to jail! She already knows the lay of the land.

Foxy is already back to work. She's filming a Vh1 reality show and has an album coming out soon. That's all fine, but I bet you the bitch isn't going to find a single sole that wants to work on her nails. Foxy better pick up a Lee Press On nail kit at her local Rite-Aid, because she's going to have to do that shit herself.

Jason Beghe is the dude from "Melrose Place" and other shows that uploaded a video to YouTube cursing Scientology! Jason was a member of the church, but managed to escape their clutches. A preview of Jason's interview went on the YouTube account XenuTv1 earlier this week. A longer video of Jason's interview was promised yesterday. The Scientologists got to YouTube, because XenuTv1's account has been suspended AGAIN.

Those Scientologists are probably hiding in our computers now too. Quick! Control, Alt, Delete!

Jason recently talked to The Village Voice about the moment he knew Scientology was a bunch of alien bullshit. Jason was almost killed in a car crash and this didn't make sense to him. He said, “A clear isn’t supposed to have a car accident. You’re supposed to be practically immortal.”

The Scientologists blamed the accident on Jason's gay friend. The official said this "gay friend" was causing Jason's clear state to be sabotaged. When Jason disagreed with them, the alien bitch said, "Well, he's gay." The gay friend was totally Tommy Girl. He is sabotaging his own kind!

If you haven't seen Jason's first video, click here to see it. It might be pulled soon though. Don't let the aliens win!

Above is a creepy video asking you to contact YouTube to get XenuTv1's account back up.

The Hoff is single and ready to mingle. Well, ready to let his assistant mingle for him. Gatecrasher reports that about three weeks ago, The Hoff was in NYC taping for "America's Got Talent." The Hoff must have been keeping his eyes on the audience rather than on the stage, because he noticed some hot chick.

After the taping, The Hoff sent his assistant over to the woman with an autographed picture of him. A source said, "On the back of the photo was the assistant's phone number and a suggestion that she get in touch with 'them.' Also listed was the name of the hotel where they were staying." The woman apparently laughed and found it "pathetic."

Pathetic!? Who turns down The Hoff? It is your duty as an American, as a human being, to do sexy times with The Hoff if the opportunity presents itself. You have to do it, just to say you've done it.

When you get to the Pearly Gates of Heaven and the gatekeeper asks, "Why should I let you in?" All you have to say is, "I fucked The Hoff." Instant VIP access!

Snoop Dogg is in love with LeAnn Rimes or it was just the weed talking. Snoop attended the CMT Music Awards in Nashville yesterday when he spotted LeAnn from across the room. People reports that Snoop said, "Wow – damn! Who is that?"

Someone told Snoop it was LeAnn Rimes, "She is beautiful! Wow, wow, wow." He introduced himself to her and the lies started pouring out, "You look like Marilyn Monroe!" She doesn't even look like Lindsay Lohan's version of Marilyn Monroe.

Shit, that Nashville herb must put lies in your eyes. Snoop better watch it though. He's going to have to fight LeAnne's gay husband. I hear the girl can scratch like a wet cat. That homo is definitely not letting go of his meal ticket.