Cate Blanchett

It's one thing to violate the laws of everything by spewing out the words "over the moon," but it's an even bigger crime when you stuff that overused phrase in the mouth of a woman who isn't even here to knee you in the asshole for putting those words in her mouth. Marie Sutton, an evil heart hurter who looks like this, claims to be a close friend of the late Princess Diana, but they obviously weren't that close if Marie is doing her like this. Marie tells Life & Style that if Princess Diana was alive today, the news that she's going to be a grandma would've made her throw herself over the great big crater in the universe. As the earth rolled from Princess Diana spinning in her grave, Marie said this:

"The pregnancy is just such marvelous news and Diana would be over the moon, absolutely. I think she would have loved Kate – everyone seems to love her, she’s very easy-going and has a beautiful family. I think Diana would have blended in very well with the Middletons.”

We as a people are supposed to evolve and part of evolving is keeping "over the moon" out of our mouths. But instead of doing that, we're now making people who literally can't say it, say it! We have got to do better. It's as if Marie hates Princess Diana. Wait a minute.... Are we sure Life & Style spoke to the actual Marie Sutton? I bet your ass it was Morrissey doing a Marie Sutton voice. Bitch pranked Life & Style. Is there anything he won't do to fuck with the royal family? Shameless.

Here's Prince William, whose head is sort of looking like a moon, meeting Cate Blanchett and the rest of the cast of The Hobbit at tonight's premiere in London.

Joel Edgerton brought the raw emotion a little too hard during a performance of A Streetcar Named Desire in Australia tonight. During a scene, Joel (who is playing Stanley) chucked a radio which busted into Cate Blanchett's (who is playing Blanche) head. An audience member told the Sydney Morning Herald that Cate hit the floor and she was bleeding from the back of her head.

Head trauma is serious shit, so Cate should've told Joel that she always depends on the kindness of 911, but she kept on acting instead. After about a minute, Cate realized that she was messed up, so she left the stage. A moment later, a stage manager appeared and said there would be an intermission. The curtain never went back up and the performance was canceled.

A rep for Cate said that she's doing absolutely fine and will most likely perform in tonight's show.

Hopefully, instead of Joel throwing an old timey radio, they make him throw a fluffy pillow. Either that or Cate will be wearing a helmet under her wig from now on.

.....I'd fucking look like this. I just want to pick Cate Blanchett up and ring her ass while singing Christmas carols. I also want to tie a bow to the top of her head and hang her from a Christmas tree. She's like one of those ornaments we used to make as kids using chunky glitter and construction paper. Shit. You know when Basement Baby saw this dress, she immediately started making her own version using....chunky glitter and construction paper.

Whoever put this fleshy look together needs to go and suck on a dildo, because Cate also sort-of looks like a deformed penis. She looks like Tommy Girl's deformed peen to be exact. And yes, Tommy's peen sparkles like that. Blame it on Johnny Travolta's twinkly butt juice.

Here's the usually hot Cate at the Benjamin Button premiere last night. This post was also screaming for some Gary Oldman, so here he is. Just ignore that trick on his arm.

Who the fuck did this to Salma Hayek?! Her personal fake eyelash applier must be executed! This is not acceptable. It's also not acceptable that Salma kept her chichis to herself. Salma has the greatest chichis in the business and she must show them off. A falling lash and covered up chichis. I'm disappointed! Penny Cruz would not be pleased.

Salma attended the Cannes premiere of "Indiana Jones and the Battle for the Last Cialis Pill" tonight. Harrison Ford brought his mummy to the premiere. Oh, silly me. That's Calista Flockhart. The bitch looks so frail. She needs an Ensure. I've also thrown in some Cate Blanchett. Perfect as usual. Boooring.

Cate Blanchett popped out her third kid in Sydney yesterday and she named the poor boy Ignatius. That makes me think of Catholic school which makes me think of cheap drugs, closet sex and dirty uniforms.

Cate and her husband, Andrew Upton, already have two sons: Dashiell John and Roman Robert.

Her spokeswhore told AFP, "Cate Blanchett and Andrew Upton have a baby boy, Ignatius Martin Upton. All are well and very happy."

Nooo... Not everyone is happy. I'm sure Ignatius is pissed that his name is...well...Ignatius!