Christina Aguilera

 

Does Xtina ever go a day without make-up? That mask is probably permanent. That baby is going to pop out looking just like Swan Brooner from Living Dolls. Full hair, full make-up, frozen grin and sequined gown. Bitch is going to be hot.

 

Xtina also looks so uncomfortable. Like she's been holding in a fart for a week. Just spread those cheeks and let it out Xtina. You'll feel a world of different.

 

Here's Xtina and Batboy buying candles yesterday. Yes, candles. 

 

 

Wenn

 

 

 

 

Xtina was getting a little practice in while shopping for baby crap in Los Angeles yesterday. She held a friend's baby while she picked out baby bottles and baby clothes. Xtina hasn't officially announced she's knocked up with bat baby, but methinks this isn't going to happen.  

 

It's nice to see her looking a little more natural and trust me this is natural for her. Instead of wearing 20 pounds of make-up, she's wearing like 10.

 

I don't know how she wakes up to that face every single morning. That mug would be enough to send me into premature labor. He has a face made for separate bedrooms.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Xtina! Pregnancy is really bringing out your natural glow. Your skin looks like the perfect shade of tangerine. Your eyes look like two blobs of coal on an orange snowman. Your lips are the perfect shade of period blood. You are truly a natural beauty.  

 

Here's Xtina and her hunk of a husband at  Magnolia in L.A. yesterday. Do you think they play "The Wizard of Oz" in bed? Jordy would make the perfect flying monkey. Seriously. It kind of makes me want to put on my Dorothy costume and take a broom...I'll stop.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why did I watch the Emmys last night? That shit made the MTV VMAs look like the most exciting thing in the world. Reading Highlights magazine is more interesting. Actually, it really is. That magazine is hot shit.

 

Anyway, watching Xtina perform with Tony Bennett last night I thought to myself "Should a knocked up bitch really be standing on a piano in heels? Push her!" And then I thought to myself "How is Xtina going to deal with being all natural and shit?"

 

I mean knocked up hos should try and be as natural as possible. Xtina's world revolves around fake tanners, make-up and hair bleach. She needs to go natural bad. She looks like a Palm Beach retiree. The old slut in the retirement community that is always looking for dick that works.

 

Hopefully, she'll take my advice and bring out and get in touch with her inner granola. Probably not, she'll find a way to keep the fake.  

 

 

 

 

Attention whore and overall whore, Parasite Hilton, let it slip that Xtina was knocked up. It's not a big deal since everyone knows, but Xtina herself has never confirmed it.

 

At LAX in Las Vegas last night Paris took the mic and told the crowd, "I want everyone to say congratulations to the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world, Christina Aguilera. You're gorgeous!"

 

Xtina was said to be stunned at first, but quickly got over it. Most beautiful pregnant woman? Is that a woman, because she looked like a straight-up drag queen last night.

 

Here's Xtina at LAX with at least 50lbs of make-up on her mug. 

 

 

Visit TMZ to see the video of it

 

 

 

 

 

It's a dude for Richie and a chick for Xtina according to InTouch Weekly . The mag claims that both girls had ultrasounds on the same day, July 25th, at the same hospital, Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. Weird. I wonder if they shared ultrasound jelly. They probably didn't even use a machine on Nicole! She's so small that they probably just put a magnifying glass up to her belly!

 

Both are expecting this December.

 

Xtina is back in Los Angeles after her doctor ordered her on bed rest after contracting the flu. She cancelled the rest of her tour and came home. Xtina has yet to confirm she's popping one out.

 

A source claims Nicole wanted a girl, but she's "happy" she's having a boy. This source said, “She’s having fun planning for the baby — shopping, picking out names and designing a nursery."

 

Ooo...these brats can date. Naw, Richie's boy will be too small to date Xtina's lady.

 

Richie boy's can date Thumbelina.

 

 

Images: Splash

 

 

 

 

What a fat ass bitch Xtina is. Ok, she's knocked up. She hasn't exactly confirmed that she's expecting baby, but everyone else has basically confirmed it. She's apparently 4-months pregnant with Jordy Bratman's baby.

 

She seemed to sort of point to her growing baby bump while performing in Perth, Australia this past weekend.  She just need to confirm it already. If I was a reporter I'd ask her "Bitch, why are you so fat?!!!" Maybe then she'll admit it.

 

 

 

 

 

E! Online swears on their mother's life that Christina Aguilera is knocked up. Christina and husband, Jordy Bratman, have yet to confirm this. It's been rumored for the past few weeks that Xtina is in fact expecting. I've been told by someone that works on her tour that she's already having wardrobe changes to make room for a baby bump.

 

She's currently on tour in Asia and will finish up her tour in August in Australia.

 

She can have a joint baby shower with Nicole Richie. Damn, all these sluts are getting knocked up! Britney's next and you know it. 

 

 

 

 

Xtina and husband, Jordy Bratman, have yet confirm that they are expecting a little one. Basically, every bitch in this world has already confirmed she's knocked up. Page Six is reporting that she's in fact 3-months knocked up.

 

Their source said, "She's been telling friends. she has to be three months now, because she's announcing it."

 

Xtina is currently on tour until August. This would be the couple's first brat.

 

So that means basically everyone but like 3 people in this world are knocked up. My dining table has been looking a little fat lately. That bitch is probably knocked up.

 

I just hope Xtina lays off the fake tan. That can't be good for baby. I don't care what you sluts say, Jordy is a hot hunk of meat. 

 

Source: Page Six

 

 

 

Xtina is most likely knocked up. She's covering her stomach all the time, she has "morning sickness face" and I've heard from several readers on the inside that she's around 8 weeks. Xtina's tour stars soon, but will end in August.

 

She has denied rumors in the past, but she was spotted recently a maternity hospital.

 

I'm losing track of all the knocked up bitches in Hollwyood. 

 

I really hope Xtina cuts down on the spray tan during her pregnancy or else she's going to pop out a kumquat.