Bad Girls Club

As I lovingly bubble-wrap my nicknacks in preparation for my new job with the Delaware County Sheriff's Office, in Delaware, OH, let me (COINCIDENCE ONLY!) bring you the local news of a beauty queen and klassy bitch DONE WRONG!

WBNS-10TV reports that "BoobMeister" Stephanie Robinette, 30, of Westerville, lost that loving feeling while beating her husband's ass at a wedding over the weekend held at Bridgewater Banquet & Conference Center.

Delaware County Sheriff Walter L. Davis III said deputies tried to talk with the woman but bitch refused.

"When deputies attempted to remove Robinette from the vehicle, she advised the deputies that she was a breast feeding mother and proceeded to remove her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the vehicle with her breast milk," Davis said.

The deputies were eventually able to restrain the loving mother and feeder of MILLIONS before carting her ass off to the pokey.

Robinette was quoted as saying she takes the charges seriously and has vowed to get help... Obviously, the policies and procedures of the Delaware Sheriff's Dept. need a little updating on what is acceptable social behavior!! Please allow me to introduce myself!!!

Every week on The Bad Girls Club, there's a hair-pulling rumble between two of the gutter skanks in the house. The fight in last night's episode starred the big butch bear known as Flo and Amber, a visitor from another time (specifically 1988).

The fight started, because Amber just couldn't swallow the fact that Flo loves to lick the dick as well as the clit. Their battle of words turned physical after Amber pushed Flo into the pool, breaking her ankle. The chlorine in the pool mixed with Flo's inner rage caused her to turn into the dyke version of The Hulk and she tossed Amber across the pavement.

I'll be honest, my b-hole hyperventilated a little while watching this, because you know Flo chews ass like there's a Home Depot flagship store waiting for her in there.

When is some bitch going to put together The Bad Gays Club for TV, because that would be the dream shit. I mean, I would join The Bad Girls Club, but I don't have a real working vagina. That is the gig to get. All you do is wake up and barf up the booze and jizz you drank from the previous night. Then you lay out by the pool with a Bud, slap one of your roommates in the face for calling you a racial slur and then you put on your favorite "jizzproof" outfit for a night of slut stuff. That's all these whores do! It's not like there's a real purpose to the show. At least Charm School tries to un-skank the skanks, but this shit doesn't even try. Best reality show to be on.

However, I do feel like they need some guidance if they want to be the best drunk sluts they can be. Take last night's episode for instance. Amber M and the surfing instructor she met earlier in the day went out to get wasted with the other skeezers. After Amber told the dude she liked getting tossed, she took him in the bathroom to suck his dick. Yeah, your regular ho shit, but Amber didn't complete the job! Her teeth got in the way. She admitted this to the world.

What pigeon-brained bitch admits to sucking at sucking?! An embarrassment to all sluts. They should evict her for that fact alone. That's why they need some skilled whore to come in and teach them dick sucking 101.

And shortly after this shameful scene, Amber got into a slap fight with another bitch during the limo ride home. Just another day in a dumb slut's life....

I watch The Bad Girls Club every week for the bitchfights alone. There's usually one every episode, but this week's is my favorite so far this season. I was waiting for this. The shit started when Amber M and Kayla started bitching over a $2 tip at dinner. This trickled into the car where fists started flying. Amber M finally told the other Amber to pull over so she could handle things with Kayla.

Amber, being the elegant swan that she is, got out of the car barefoot and started to fight Kayla in a damn gas station. Mozart started playing in my ears because this was so beautiful. I mean, fighting a bitch barefoot over $2 at a gas station? Alistair Cooke should havefloated down from heaven to narrate this event on PBS. It was that classy.

The fight ended in a choke-off. When they got home, Kayla realized she was going to be kicked off, so she did the honors herself and left. Strangely enough, Amber M stayed. That dumb bitch threw punches too. Yes, they were weak ass punches, but she stilled busted on Kayla.

Sugababes member, Amelle Berrabah, was arrested after she allegedly attacked a neighbor's car. A neighbor of Amelle's sister's claimed her car was damaged after a dispute with the two girls. 23-year-old Amelle denies she beat up the car, but she was arrested and questioned anyway. She was released and will have to return next month.

Let's see....Amelle has been arrested for girl fighting in clubs. Her boyfriend allegedly raped her sister and she took him back. The same boyfriend recently almost had his arm hacked off with a machete and now this? All this in just one year. Import this girl over here STAT!

She's starting 2008 with a bang! I can't wait what she brings us in the year to come.

You can tell Amelle is a hoodrat. It probably took them hours of work and thousands of dollars to make her look like that. They probably had to remove razors from her hair, cover all her bruises with make-up and remove the beach scene from her Lee Press-On nails. Love this crazy bitch.

Source: The Sun

Why did I just discover this show? It debuted a couple of week's ago on the Oxygen network and it seriously is going to sweep the Emmy's next year. The premise is taking 7 "bad girls" aka drunk hos and putting them up in a Los Angeles house and giving them lots of booze. It's The Real World without annoying gays and homophobic frat dudes.

The greatest moment ever in TV history comes when Ripsi drinks a whole bottle of Tequila and starts attacking Kerry (the bad girl of country music) for absolutely no reason. She honestly chokes the ho and tries to kill her! The other girls rip Ripsi off of Kerry and put her down on the sofa. Ripsi passes out for about twenty seconds and suddenly gets up and starts throwing apples at the windows. She takes her fury upstairs and starts attacking a sleeping girl named Jodie (the wannabe Pamela Anderson.) I mean Jodie is sleeping and minding her own business when Ripsi tries to tear her weave out and punches her in the eye! She passes out and wakes up not remembering a thing! I mean...

I'm telling you...this show is the stuff dreams are made of! This clip is long, but it's worth every minute. Ripsi deserves an Oscar and a Grammy.

Click here if you can't see the clip above!