Crazy

This shit basically speaks for itself. There are no words..... I am Spaghetti Cat speechless. But before I go and cuddle up to a plate of chicken cutlets, let me officially declare Phoebe Price as "Hot Babe of the Millennium!"

This whole OctoMommy gets crazier and crazier as the days go by. So, the country's most hated IVF junkie is getting kicked out of the Whittier house she lives in with her band of children, because she hasn't paid the mortgage in 10-months. The house is owned by her mommy and they owe $24k in back payments. The house could be headed for public auction. Now is your chance to own a piece of OctoMommy!

I know you were cleaning out your guest room dresser drawers to make a place for all of OctoMommy's million babies to sleep in, but you don't have to do that anymore. Crazy Baby Lady might have a new lair! A $1.24 million lair to be exact. HA! Please, look up the word "audacity" and you'll see a picture of a smiling OctoJolie.

TMZ says she looked at a fancy Whittier home today. It has a pool, 4 bedrooms and 2.5 baths. And I'm pretty sure she's still receiving public assistance, but she'll probably use the money from the ten million interviews she's doing.

Click here to see pictures of Octo's new baby poop kingdom. And if you live in CA, you might want to take a closer look, since you're probably paying for some of it. HA! I'm sorry, but I love joking to my mom about that shit. She lives in CA and nearly explodes every time I laugh about it. It's not laughing matter....But it is! You know how I love a certifiable batshit crazy motherfucker and OctoMommy is the epitome of that. I'd have an Amniotic-tini with her (BARF).

And here's some pictures of Crazy Baby Lady at the bank yesterday taking out your money.

Roseanne already delivered her sermon on the RiRi/Brown situation, but she wasn't done! Nope, there's more crazy to go around and it sounds like she's sort of taking back her original rant. Roseanne gets deep into it and it's kind of a wild ride. One minute, I'm riding along with her and then she makes a sharp left and totally loses me, but picks me back up at the stop sign.

This shit really crawled into her head, because it sounds like she's about to write a book on it even though she doesn't have any of the facts. Maybe she can read minds? Here's Roseanne's latest thesis:

women who go back to men who have hit them are usually violent too--they escalate conflict by using verbal humiliation and often throw the first punch, but are then unable to withstand the strength of the man's counter attack.

Alot of guys hit women because the women are hitting them, verbally abusing them or throwing the keys to their car outside and goading them on, and they lose control of themselves. This is what it sounds like to be in the rhianna-chris brown affair. there is no way out of violence if you are violent. the only way to win is not to play the game.

In the later stages, she won't leave because her will is destroyed, and a violent line crossed, because once the guy threatens to kill her, it becomes almost impossible for her to leave.

i hope rhianna is getting counseling from a professional counselor who will tell her that there is no way for her to ever win, and that she will have to curtail her own penchant for escalating conflict by screaming at or hitting or humiliating her abuser. I hope he gets real counseling too, that is not from a minister or his mom or any other shame based bullshit method that will never work, and that is designed to avoid dealing directly with self-control issues. I hope that they both leave each other alone and get over their faults.

I hope she does not continue to play the game with him. If they still love each other after they learn self control and conflict resolution, then they can get back together.

Move over, Marilyn Kagan! Didn't it feel like you should be reading that while lying on a leather sofa and periodically checking the clock to see when your hour is up? Unfortunately, I didn't walk away with a prescription for some strong shit after reading Roseanne's rant. But I will probably get a bill in the mail.

And Chris shouldn't get counseling from his pastor or mom. He should get it from Dr. Roseanne! But I have a feeling it would just end with his chopped off nuts in her hands.

Why isn't Roseanne on The View? This is the shit we need. Roseanne is not afraid to unleash her batshit craziness and deliver the fucking truth on a hot platter made of anger. I love blog-yelling! I'm sure she broke her Dell (she doesn't strike me as a MacBook Air kind of bitch) busting this love letter to Chris Brown on her blog:

chris brown's lies and excuses

make me want to beat the crap out of him...he uses the language of the perpetrator just like every sleazy bastard who ever smacked his wife, kid mother or girlfriend around uses. you dirty bastard, I hope you go to prison for ten years. IT'S YOUR FAULT, ASSHOLE! as for all the mealy mouthed hollywood and music scene chicks that can't bring themselves to condemn a misogynistic bully, let me say this: your time as whores for propaganda is ending, bitches.

If this was an episode of Roseanne, Dan would get in his truck and handle this shit. Actually, I think that was an actual episode. Roseanne's rant was just what I need to forgive her for the final 2 seasons of her show. She was on notice for so long for that lottery bullshit.

Roseanne's nipples exploded in anger after writing that shit. Hopefully, she calmed down by holding a babeh. Actually, that would probably make things worse. The last time I held a baby, my friend kept her hands below the little thing at all times. She said I looked like I wanted to drop the baby and walk away. She was right. So...Roseanne should hold a lesbian instead. A hug from a gayelle is soothing like a Calgon bath.

Speaking of babehs and gayelles, here's Sara Gilbert aka Darlene Connor and her kid wandering around L.A. the other day. Don't tell me if those are real UGHS on Darlene's feet. I don't want to know the truth. A gayelle in UGHS is a bad omen.

The unabomber's homeboy (Letterman's words, not mine) sat with David last night and this shit was all sorts of uncomfortable in a "Is this even funny?" kind of way? Usually, when I watch some shit, I get one major reaction, but that wasn't the case with this. It was funny, then pube-pulling akward, then just weird.

Did the spirit of Andy Kaufman jump into Joaquin's body? Is this all part of his douchy performance-art piece? Is he freebasing RAID? Is there a straitjacket somewhere calling his name? Or is he just fucking completely done and over it? If he's had it with Hollywood, why is he going through the motions? He looks like he'd rather take a bubble bath (and that's saying a lot) than sit there with Dave. And I couldn't tell if Dave was in on the joke or playing along.

I co-sign David's closing line, "Joaquin, I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight." I've been saying that shit for the past month since this flea-ridden madness started.

You know, Joaquin recently made a movie with Fishsticks Paltrow. That answers many questions in my head. Overexposure to Fishy Paltrow has this effect on people.

I'm sure you can find covers like this on the wall in every Brangaloonie's shrine room to their holy couple, but they make theirs at a kiosk at Six Flags. This one is for real! OctoMommy is on the cover of Life & Style this week because they think she might be the craziest Brangaloonie of all-time and forever. But she denied that shit to Ann Curry last night on Dateline.

When Ann asked in her whispery soul-killing voice about the rumors that she's pulling a Single White Female on St. Angie, OctoMommy answered, "I have never even thought of Angelina Jolie except the last time I saw a movie. I think that was like years ago. This is so far away from the place I'm in right now to think of any celebrity." Yeah, she's too fucking busy trying to become one to think about shit like that. And about those lippy injections? She said, "No, no."

Whatever. This crazy bitch could tell me that Kanye West only blogs in CAPS and exclamation points and I'd still head over to his site to double check, because she gets cloudy in the brains when it comes to facts. And by "cloudy in the brains," I mean the bitch is a pro lie-teller.

Crazy Baby Lady may lie, but pictures don't! Your pussy lips might get that swollen when you're constantly knocked up, but I don't know if your mouth lips do. Bitch is going to use that excuse. You know it.

If you missed the interview last night, you can read the transcript, watch clips or look at pictures here. But wait, there's more!

Crazy Baby Lady has her own website and she's looking for donations, because your tax dollars just aren't enough. I think that when she pushed out those millions of babies, she also pushed out her dignity. And I know you'd rather donate to Chris Brown's defense fund than this shit, but here's her website. Even the rainbow looks crazy on that site.

The Crazy Baby Lady's full interview with Ann Curry aired on Today this morning and the soft-talking insanity continued. I think one of her babies even gave her the "Bitch, you crazy" look when she stroked her.

Angelina Crazie took the camera crew through the hospital nursery to introduce her 8 new toys! It totally feels like a little girl (or Marie Osmond on QVC) proudly showing off her doll collection. You know, but Crazy Baby Lady is the owner of some elegant nail tips, so this must mean she's a good mother. That's her logic, not mine.

We also learned the names of all eight babies and surprisingly, there's not a Pax, Maddox or Knox in there. It sounds like she just opened the bible and started randomly pointing, because their names are: Noah, Johan, Mariah, Isiah, Jeremiah, Makai, Malia and Josiah.

How is she going to take care of all her bible babies? Crazy Baby Lady said that her mother will help and she also hopes bitches volunteer their services. Usually, when you volunteer, you get a free hot lunch, but if you help this bitch out, you'll get a heaping serving of piping hot batshit crazy.

And Crazy Baby Lady's mama je'e is not amused. She told RadarOnline, "I was very upset. She already has six beautiful children, why would she do this? To have them all is unconscionable to me. She really really has no idea what she's doing to her children and to me." No, she doesn't know, because the bitch has crazy bugs living in her brains!

And it starts! Nadya Suleman, the crazy baby addict who popped out 8 babies, has hired publicist Joan Killeen to represent her to the media. Bitch needed to hire a damn crazy doctor. Not a publicist.

Joan showed up on Good Morning America today and said Nadya has named all 8 of her babies, but wouldn't give up the names. If she wants to win me over, she better have named them: Rojo, Spaghetti, Cutlets, Lucite, Cholita, Stains, Escandalo and Harvey Jr.

The truth is she probably named them Babies 'R Us, Huggies, Johnson, Johnson, Gerber, Osh Kosh, Baby Gap and Fisher Price, because those bitches paid top dollar!

Joan wouldn't talk about the rumors that Nadya is getting paid up to $2 million for an interview with Oprah. But she did say that Nadya has gotten hundreds of offers for book deals, TV shows and other shit from dumbasses. Joan went on to say that Nadya is looking "at all the opportunities and choices she has to provide best financial future for her children. She's looking forward to telling the story and setting the record straight. Nadya is a very balanced and together woman. She looks at this as an opportunity from God and she loves children and she's very very excited."

Look outside your window. Do the clouds spell "Bitch, please." I think that's a personal message from God to Nadya.

Seriously. we are all in the wrong business. Fuck pyramid schemes. Baby making is the business to be in. I need to find some back alley doctor to install lady parts in my body and then implant 20 embryos in me, so I can be the world's first bitchy homo who gave birth to 20 BABIES!!! Duggar who? Pregnant Dude what? Octo-mommy ha?

I've seen some shit on Twitter that makes my soul scream "Just tell me how much your shit nugget weighs already and let's get it over with!", but this takes the fucking cake and throws it across the room. A crazy ho Twittered while her twatty was busy making way for baby. The crazy ho I'm talking about is Erykah Badu. Yeah, twittering during labor is not Baduizm shit.

Yesterday, Erykah and her baby daddy Jay Electronica twittered when she started contractions, when she went into labor and when her new baby came out of her twat. When the placenta was dry, Erykah joked that they named her new baby girl Twitty Milk.

I think it was a joke, but I hope it wasn't. I mean, Erykah's other kids are named Seven and Puma, so I would not put it past her. And I think it's HIGH time for Bronx Mowgli to be dethroned as the baby with the most fucked up name.

But seriously, Erykah has some serious skills if she can type while her pussy is going through some major shit. It's kind of ridiculous, though. Someone should have called Tyrone and tell him to come on home and stop the Twitter fuckery!

Thanks G

I'm going to take a short break from talking caca about celebwhores to show you this picture I saw on Gawker. Nuts. It was taken a short time after a US Airways plane bound for Charlotte, NC crashed into the Hudson in NYC. The news says it was the geese's fault! Those damn geese. Always getting into shit. The pilot signalled mayday after hitting the flock of geese.

There were 179 people on board. I heard that everyone got off safely, but that hasn't been confirmed. Hopefully, it's true. UPDATE: It's true! Everyone's safe!

I guess I should take off my headphones and start paying attention when the flight attendants tell us what to do in an emergency water landing.