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What the fuckity fuck did I just watch? Am I high? Did somebody slip me an acid tab?

I watched this mess at least 5 times and I still have ten thousand questions.

Okay, this short movie was made from the 20s or 30s. It's apparently a series of shorts. This one is called "Trouble" and stars Queenie the dog as some sort of tart who finds herself in a situation with some gangster dog. By situation I mean he's assaulting her ass. The most disturbing thing about this little clip, is that the dogs walk on their hind legs the whole time. I don't even want to know how they got the dogs to do that.

I must go and cuddle with my dog now and promise him that I'll never make him wear clothes again.

VIA Best Week Ever

YouTube's newest superstar sensation, Tricia Walsh-Smith, is no longer allowed to make those mesmerizing YouTube rants.......in her Park Avenue apartment. The judge said Tricia can continue to make the videos and say whatever she wants as long as it's not in the apartment she once shared with her husband, Philip Smith.

Yay! Tricia is going on location!

Mr. Smith's lawyer told The New York Post, "If there's a way we thought we could stop [Walsh-Smith], we would do so." There's no stopping crazy eyes! Sorry. Well, maybe if they squirted a little glycerine on her eyes.

77-year-old Mr. Smith is divorcing 52-year-old Tricia, because he claims she treated him like shit. He is also having her evicted from their apartment. In her latest YouTube video, she asked viewers to take up a collection for her to buy a tent.

I don't give a fuck if she shoots her videos in a tent, subway bathroom, Charles Manson's prison cell or Clay Aiken's lingerie closet. I just care that she continues to make these videos for YouTube!

Here crazy eyes have hypnotized me into adoring her.

Image: Fame

Tricia Walsh-Smith and her crazy eyes have returned! Tricia is the socialite who went on YouTube a couple of weeks ago to rant about her husband, some rich bitch named Philip Smith, who is evicting her from their multi-million dollar NYC apartment. In the first video, Tricia went on about her husband never fucked her. If you haven't seen it, click here to watch it. It's a must.

Tricia has put out a sequel and it's just as amazing. I don't understand why Tricia just doesn't look her husband in the eyes and hypnotize his ass with those crazy eyes of hers. Shit, she's almost got me hypnotized. I'm ready to empty out my checking account for her.

Tricia is also sick of being "slagged" and "slandered" by commenters. I love her ass! If Tricia gets evicted, she can come live with me. I will use Tricia's crazy eyes to hypnotize my super into finally fixing the water pressure. Tricia can do anything!

Remember Matt's ex-boyfriend on "Melrose Place" that came to visit him for a few episodes? The dude turned about to be a closeted Navy lieutenant. I think the dude even told Matt he was HIV positive. Matt learned something about himself from him and blah...blah...blah.. Life lessons. It was a "very important" Melrose Place. So.......that dude made this YouTube video cursing Scientology.

Jason Beghe was a member of Scientology since the 90s. He even appeared in some promo spots. Well, he's escaped Tom Cruise's clutches and now he's speaking out. In this 3-minute video, he says shit like, "Scientology is destructive and a rip-off."

He also said, "It’s very, very dangerous for your spiritual, psychological, mental, emotional health and evolution. I think it stunts your evolution. If Scientology is real, then something’s fucked up." Jason uses Scientology lingo in the video and claims he was a top Scientologist or OT 5. Jason said the higher he went up in the church, the worse it got.

Jason spent a lot of cash and time on Scientology and it hasn't delivered what it promised.

The video is just a teaser to a much longer video that is coming out soon.

I'm glad I have lovely memories of Jason as Matt's gay Navy lover on Melrose Place, because those are probably the last memories I will have of him. Jason better be living in some underground city, because bitch is in danger.

He also does the best Tom Cruise impersonation at around 2:27. Something tells me Tom isn't laughing about this video now.

Gawker posted this video from the famous Charleston Fashion Week of a woman falling through a catwalk. I've watched it a dozen times and laughed each time. I'm pretty sure the woman is not a model, but probably the designer. She sort of wanders out onto the catwalk like someone's pushed her out. She takes her bow and tries to cross to the other side of the catwalk, but ends up falling through. And then she totally disappears!

She totally ended up in Narnia.

This mindless shit is perfect for hangover Sunday. It's from the German show "Wetten, dass...?" and features a dude crushing cans with his shoulder blades over and over again. I think I've watched it 20 times. It's doing wonders for my hangover. This was on the biggest show in Germany! Seriously, I need to move to Berlin already.

Source

Thanks Klatsch

Obama has that hot chick as his Obama Girl and John McCain has these lovely ladies. It fits. These are The McCain Girls and they put out some shit on YouTube of them singing along to one of the gayest songs in history: "It's Raining Men." They cleverly changed the title to "It's Raining McCain."

My favorite of the three is the woman that looks like Bonnie Brindle from "Small Wonder." First of all, her pants are melting into the green screen. Second of all, she barely knows the lyrics. Those two other chicks probably needed a third and nobody would do it, so they kidnapped poor Bonnie Brindle from the local supermarket and brainwashed her to shake her granny ass for John McCain! Bonnie definitely doesn't know what she's doing.

I couldn't get through the whole thing, because I had to turn it off once one of them washed her face with John McCain. That's crossing the line of decency.

VIA Gawker

Chrissy Bitch's "Leave Britney Alone" YouTube meltdown failed to win him a 2007 YouTube Award. Chrissy was nominated in the Best Commentary category, but lost out to What The Buck? Better luck next time bitch. Tay Zonday's "Chocolate Rain" video won Best Music Video. Tay told the AP (via UsWeekly) that he plans to make "a living making art and producing music."

La Pequena's Amy Winehouse video better win next year or I'm going razor burn a bitch.

Visit YouTube to see all the winners in all categories.

Below is my favorite video which lost in the "adorable" category. I could watch this all day. I can't wait to spend hours viewing this tonight. After a few cocktails, I'm sure I will be able to figure out what these pussies are saying to each other. I'll have a full transcription by morning.

In case you missed it! This is a clip from Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp of Toccara (America's Next Top Model) losing her shit! I thought she was going to rip off her weave and start punching some of those judges. I wish. This clip would also make a good drinking game. Take a shot every time someone says "have some class."

Dieting is a hell of a drug. After this shit fit, Toccara stormed into a 7-Eleven and devoured the entire candy bar section.

VIA ONTD

Thanks to YouTube and digital video cameras, any crackhead can post videos of them acting cokey. This video of Steve-O got posted up to his YouTube account yesterday. Steve-O is currently in the crazy house after he reportedly threatened to off himself. The video was taken shortly after he was released from jail a little while ago. I didn't get through the whole video, because it felt like I was falling through a k-hole. I usually save my ketamine binges for after noon.

Hopefully, he'll get off the coke and spend his drug money on fixing up that apartment. Sorry, I'm a total design homo. I had a hard time paying attention to him, because I was too busy thinking of ways I could fix up his crib.

Source: ONTD