Diddy

Friday, May 2nd 2008

Diddy's Star

Sean Combs aka Diddy aka Puff Daddy aka Whateverthefuckhisnameis received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame today for his achievements in maintaining the sexy and white suit-wearing. The dude does know how to wear a white suit. I'm disappointed that Diddy didn't have the streets shut down. Shit, the city shut down. Hell, the whole state of California shut down.

Diddy was joined by Kim Porter, his mama, her sad wig, Jamie Foxx and his twinsies. After the ceremony, I hope Kim took Mama Combs wig shopping down Hollywood Blvd. That thing looks like it was soaked in lard water and then left to dry on the pavement.

82 comments


Sunday, March 23rd 2008

Diddy's Starting Them Young

Diddy's twins, D'Lila Star and Jessie James (yes, Jessie James), made an appearance at the finale of "Making the Band 4" in NYC last night. Diddy should've put the twins to work, because I'm sure they can sing better than those Danity Kane chicks.

I do love Aubrey O'Day though. Just when I thought she couldn't look even more like a tranny mess, she shows up in crap like this. What the fuck is she wearing in the third thumbnail below? Somewhere in the world, a tranny dominatrix is missing her uniform. It's Easter and I'm hungover as hell. I really don't need to be looking at this shit.

Wireimage

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Monday, October 8th 2007

Can I Be Diddy's 7th Child?

 
Diddy will take legal responsibility for his 6th child he told Rush & Molloy. Sarah Chapman of Atlanta claimed Diddy was the father of her daughter, Chance. Diddy denied, denied and denied. DNA evidence proved he was the daddy.
 
He said, "At first, I wasn't sure if this was my child. Now that it has become clear she is, I will take care of her for the rest of her life."
 
Diddy has already worked out financial and visitation terms with Sarah Chapman.
 
Diddy's 6th daughter was also a major factor in his relationship ending with Kim Porter. He has three kids with her including twins. Chance was born right before his twins were born. He's apparently trying to get back with her ass.  
 
Diddy has every product imagineable with his name on it. He should put out some condoms and use it himself! Diddy condoms! Moisturize the peen.
 
 
95 comments


Friday, September 28th 2007

What A Charmer

 
When Diddy arrived at GoldBar in NYC with four other people, the hostess asked the question ever hostess in any restaurant or bar asks "How many people in your party?"
 
Instead of saying "5" Diddy looked at her and said, "Fucking bitch!" How lovely. Diddy then walked past her into the restaurant.
 
I need to try it the "Diddy way" next time I go to restaurant. Next time I'm at the Olive Garden (which is often and stop your cackling!) and the hostess asks me how many, I'm going to say "FUCKING BITCH!" and walk right past her.
 
Something tells me I wouldn't be allowed to munch on their delicious breadsticks and salad for the rest of eternity. That would be like a death sentence. I'll just do like I always do and say "fucking bitch" behind her back instead.
 
Source: Page Six
 
 
136 comments


Thursday, September 20th 2007

Aretha Franklin Wants You To Maintain The Sexy

 
Empress Aretha was one of the guests at last night's fragrance launch party for Diddy's latest. Diddy is so confident in his new women's perfume "Unforgettable Woman" that he has challenged his female counterparts to a smell-off.
 
He said, "I am going to challenge my female counterparts, from J.Lo, Mariah (Carey), Sarah Jessica Parker to Gwen Stefani that my fragrance is better than theirs. I am a man, and I know how a woman should smell."
 
Yeah...yeah Diddy. You're the King of Everything. We know. However, I'm much more interested in knowing what a Terrence Howard perfume would smell like. I mean he's the one that really, really cares about hygiene and scents. I'm guessing it would be a mixture of rubbing alcohol, baby powder, crazy pills, gun powder and ammonia. Fragrant! 
 
Aretha is so hot that I can't take it. I just want to nap in her bosom forever and ever. 
 
 
 
 
178 comments


Saturday, September 8th 2007

The Bluest Eyes In Vegas

 
Britney Spears is in Las Vegas preparing for her big "comeback performance" at tomorrow's MTV VMAs. She spent Friday rehearsing and Friday night partying with Diddy at Pure.
 
I can honestly say Britney actually looks decent and pretty normal. I'm sure she's wearing those boots though.
 
The look on Diddy's face is priceless. You know Brit just cut one and he's trying hardcore not to let it completely enter his nostrils.  
 
 
 
 
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Monday, September 3rd 2007

Janice Combs Is A Vision In White

 
Janice Combs is truly my favorite celebrity mother. Homegirl is a mess and a half. She's a 12-car pile-up! She needs to tell me where she got that tie-dyed wig, because I need me one of those for acid trips. I mean she looks like Diddy's younger sister HA!
 
Here's JC at Diddy's Real White Party in the Hamptons last night. Mimi also showed and surprisingly didn't look like a complete hooker. Miss Piggy cleans up well. That dress still looks about 2 sizes too small though. Greased in! Suck suck suck it in!
 
 
Splash , Mariah Daily
 
Thanks Mc Desperate 
 
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Monday, July 16th 2007

How Can I Become One Of Diddy's Former Baby Mamas?

 
Kim Porter and Diddy recently split up and she's not going away cheap. Sources say Kim could walk away with $100,000 a month in child support alone for the three kids she shares with Diddy. He is currently paying around $30,000 to one of his other baby mamas for just one kid.
 
Diddy didn't have any sort of pre-nup with Kim and he's apparently shaking in his sneakers. Kim recently moved to Beverly Hills on Diddy's dime.
 
Page Six said they didn't call Diddy, because he's lied to them in the past. Most recently he denied his split from Kim. It was announced a couple of days later.
 
DAMN! Sign me up! I'll take every damn pill to make me get knocked up. Shit, I'll have like ten kids. That's at least $1 million a MONTH!
 
Diddy better chop those nuts off, because if he gets another chick pregnant he'll definitely go broke.
 
54 comments


Friday, July 13th 2007

Diddy Wants You


Diddy took to YouTube to find his next assistant. If you think you're qualified to wipe his ass then upload a YouTube video explaining why.

Diddy said, "What better job than to have me scream at you, go crazy, keep you up late hours, have you sleep deprived? You know I'm the best. I like working with the best. So if you the best, holla at your boy."

HELL NO! He'd have me run to effin Brooklyn to get him a cheesecake! I watch his reality shows. That would be the job from Hell. Imagine all the baby drama you'd have to deal with. No thank you.

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Thursday, July 5th 2007

Is There Such A Thing As Love?

 
Say it ain't so! The beautiful and real romance between Kim Porter and Diddy has come to an end. Kim has moved herself out of his NYC apartment along with the three kids she shares with him. Kim has apparently has had enough and is moving to Beverly Hills. The news comes during rumors that Diddy is getting it on with Sienna Miller.
 
A source said, "She is focusing on her career as a model and actress and raising her children. They are the best of friends, but they just can't be together right now."
 
Kim and Diddy have broken up several times in the past. JLo's fat ass couldn't even get between them. They got back together shortly after his relationship to JLo ended.
 
Diddy claims he is not getting it on with Sienna.
 
Kim is a model?! For what? I say Kim needs to get herself a good lawyer and take Diddy to the effin cleaners. Kim shouldn't quit her day job as Diddy's kept woman. I mean she's not going to get a better gig!  
 
Source: Page Six
 
 
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