Kanye West

I guess wearing bootleg colored contacts bought at the swap meet are the new thing, because Amber Rose wore hers while hosting Tao Beach at The Venetian yesterday. Yes, hosting stupid ass pool parties (see below) is all the rage! Wake me when international supermodel Phoebe Price and Ariel Wade co-host a pool party at the Super 8 in Gainesville, Florida. Fish grease + Chicken Cutlets = A good fucking time.

It was nice of Gay Fish to temporarily unattach Amber Rose's umbilical cord from his b-hole, so she can go out and make her own money. He probably got sick of opening his precious coin purse every time she needed a few dollars to get a shave and a bleach at the barber shop.

Here's more pictures of the alien android known as Amber Rose making some money yesterday afternoon in Las Vegas. I hope they poured extra chlorine in that pool, because every trick in there probably pissed their bikinis out of fright when they first saw her "STAINS on the bad shit" eyes. Throw a cupcake at her!

Jay-Z, Alien Princess RiRi of the Universe and Gay Fish joined forces for "Run This Town" and this is the video for it. Basically, it's just the three of them chanting in front of a mob of fire stick wielders in a post-apocalyptic world where wearing sunglasses you can't see through is all the rage.

The mob really doesn't need to carry weapons. Shit, they don't need to do anything! All RiRi has to do is yodel "Haaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy" over and over again and their enemies will eat each other's ears off to stop the madness. Seriously, after listening to that song once, RiRi's warbling made me want to stick a power strip in my ass and strap myself in a straitjacket.

And when can we expect a battle between "Run This Town" and Boogie Town? Yes, the mess below really is a trailer for a real movie. You decide which town you'd rather see become a site for missile testing. I'm torn.

VIA Videogum

If your bikini bottom isn't halfway up your no-no and flossing your anal canal, then you are doing it wrong! Just ask Gay Al Reynolds. He probably has this bikini in every color of the rainbow!

Here's the CAPS-LOCK Master and his rent-to-own snatch Amber Rose hanging out in Miami yesterday. And Amber Rose is literally hanging out. I love how she's covering up her breasts while her butt boobies are out for all to see. Modesty = u r doing it wrng.

Even though Amber Rose wore her favorite "LOOK AT MY ASS" bikini by Crest Glide, Gay Fish wasn't happy with the attention. Kanye used his stumpy middle finger to send a message to the paps. Don't make him put that glass of Dynasty juice down and break his MacBook Air over this shit. BITCH BOGUS!

My CAPS-LOCK KEY'S hero and my eyeballs enemy #1, Gayfish West, licked on his perfectly manicured nails for luck and got loose on his keyboard to address the rumors that he proclaimed himself as the brand spanking new King of POP! Kanye may have the crazies running all through him and he may have an ego the size of Tommy Girl's unpinched anal glands, but even his ass would never make a statement like that! Shame on all of us!

Kanye's got the sads, because he can't believe that the public at large would actually believe those words would come out of his mouth. We need to all take Kanye in ours arms, hand-feed him soft chocolate cookies and sing an apology lullaby to him. Srsly.

And Kanye isn't the new King of Pop, but he will always be the King of Everything!!!!!!!

In all seriousness, this was kind of eloquent for Kanye. I'm a little confused.

Source

My MacBook is sending good thoughts to its very distant relative, Kanye's MacBook Air, because it's about to go through some serious shit when the CAPS-LOCK poet finds out about this mess. The New York Daily News says that at Diddy's white party in Beverly Hills on Saturday, Kanye's on-and-off manpurse holder was caught tongue fucking lady beater Chris Brown in a dark corner.

Some witness said, "They were holding hands and making out in the shadows. She had her hand on his leg." A little later on, the two got gross again at an after-party. Chris showed up with singer Teyana Taylor, but quickly quit her ass for ole' baldy. The witness added, "They were kissing on the dance floor in front of Teyana. But he and Amber left separately."

Amber's contract as Kanye's bald beard must be up, because bitch is out working the ho stroll for another john and she's not being too picky. Before you give her the side-eye and a lip smack, look up the prices for a shave and a headshine. That shit isn't free! A bitch has got to get paid one way or another.

I just hope Kanye West is getting ready to unleash his wrath in the rant of all RANTS dedicated to Chris Brown! If anyone can prove that you can bust a bitch in the eye with a blog post, it's Kanye. Show us the true power of the CAPS-LOCK key, Kanye!

When the unofficial version of The Lord of CAPS' "Paranoid" leaked last week, his tittays got all sweaty, because he was upset that the world was not seeing the real version of his masterpiece. Well, here it is now. Just the way God (Kanye) intended!

It's actually the same except for some floating words and Kanye West as a werewolf who is thirsty for tenheads. Speaking of, RiRi tries to bring out the raw emotion in this and comes out dry. Just the other night I was telling my friend that I would kick my own crotch bone to see Alien Princess RiRi in a one-woman remake of Purple Rain as The Kid, Morris and Apollonia. After watching her try to act in this, I am 100% sure that Purple Rain should be her next project! RiRi has the shitty acting skills needed to recreate the magic!

VIA Kanye's Blog

If Pink could, she would wear a furry bra made out of Kanye West's nut bush and chaps made out of his skin (how very Buffalo Bill of her). I think we all do, but Pink has her own reasons. At Stella McCartney's fashion show in March, Kanye made Pink so angry that she could've eaten a strap-on. In an interview with FHM (via The Sun), Pink says that Kanye West hates furry little creatures.

Pink said, "Kanye West is the person pissing me off right now. I was at STELLA McCARTNEY's Paris fashion show with the vice president of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, PAUL McCARTNEY and Kanye West. The entire time Kanye is going, 'They need more fur in this show'. He just wouldn't shut up about how he loved fur. I mean, he's saying this to me, the PETA guy and Paul McCartney! I was just so grossed out by him. I'm like, 'You're an idiot!' There are so many people who I think are a waste of skin and he's up there. I should wear him. Go on, donate yourself Kanye. People can wear your fur."

Kanye's MacBook Air can stop shaking in fright, because I doubt this has made the mighty Lord of the Caps-Lock mad. In fact, Pink gave him an idea. Why wear animal fur when you can wear something even better: A KANYE SKIN SUIT! Kanye popped a nut thinking of a world with a million Kanyes walking around. Cloning gone wrong! Thank you for that, Pink.

Oh, that Kanye! He really knows how to keep the LOLs rolling through the internets. He should take his act on the road and call it the Delusional Kings of Comedy! Kanye just loves to fart in his own hand, inhale it (it's like helium), hit the CAPS-LOCK key and then go fucking at it. That's what must have done today with this latest post, because this is a motherfucking crazy doozy.

Kanye was commenting on some pictures the paps took of RiRi when he started to go into another world. Kanye went there and I really wish he hadn't. See what I mean:

FRESH ASS PICTURE!!! YO WHY CAN'T ALL PAPARAZZI PHOTOS BE THIS GOOD? WELL OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE MOST CELEBS JUST AREN'T RIHANNA LOL! ... BUT ON THE REAL, THIS PIC IS HARDCORE. PEEP THE PERSPECTIVE SHOT OF THE CITY IN THE BACK. SOMETIMES THE PAPS OVEREXPOSE THE LENS OR HAVE THE FLASH TOO HIGH TAKING ALL THE EMOTION OUT OF THE MOMENT. THIS MOMENT IS CAPTURED IN TIME NOW. I LOOK AT OUR CURRENT SUPERSTARS LIKE LEGENDS IN THE MAKING... LIKE JUSTIN IS THE NEW MIKE , BEYONCE'S THE NEW TINA TURNER, GAGA'S MADONNA, JAY IS SINATRA... WAYNE IS HENDRIX, THOM YORKE IS ROGER WATERS, THESE ARE THE CHAMPIONS AND SHOULD BE DOCUMENTED AS SUCH. THAT SAID, IT WOULD BE DOPE IF THE PAPS OPERATED WITH THE SAME INTEGRITY AND ATTENTION TO THEIR CRAFT AS THE LEGENDS THEY PHOTOGRAPH..... GOOD JOB ON THIS ONE!

Was is it just me or were you expecting to hear a joke drum on loop, because the whole post is punchline after punchline!

And you know that in the blog post in his mind he added: KANYE WEST IS THE NEW GOD!!!!!!!!!! Bitch can part the Red Sea just by hitting his CAPS-LOCK key!

I could almost feel Kanye West's MacBook Air breaking while reading his latest LOLrant about Twitter. Kanye slapped his peen on the CAPS-LOCK key and went fucking at it. Blink a few hundred times before reading, because it's been a while.

(This spaz comes courtesy of losers making fake Kanye West Twitter accounts) I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER... WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??? I ONLY BLOG 5 PERCENT OF WHAT I'M UP TO IN THE FIRST PLACE. I'M ACTUALLY SLOW DELIVERING CONTENT BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY ACTUALLY BUSY BEING CREATIVE MOST OF THE TIME AND IF I'M NOT AND I'M JUST LAYING ON A BEACH I WOULDN'T TELL THE WORLD. EVERYTHING THAT TWITTER OFFERS I NEED LESS OF. THE PEOPLE AT TWITTER KNOW I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING TWITTER SO FOR THEM TO ALLOW SOMEONE TO POSE AS ME AND ACCUMULATE OVER A MILLION NAMES IS IRRESPONSIBLE AND DECEITFUL TO THERE FAITHFUL USERS. REPEAT... THE HEADS OF TWITTER KNEW I DIDN'T HAVE A TWITTER AND THEY HAVE TO KNOW WHICH ACCOUNTS HAVE HIGH ACTIVITY ON THEM. IT'S A FUCKING FARCE AND IT MAKES ME QUESTION WHAT OTHER SO CALLED CELEBRITY TWITTERS ARE ACTUALLY REAL OR FAKE. HEY TWITTER, TAKE THE SO CALLED KANYE WEST TWITTER DOWN NOW .... WHY? ... BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!!!!!!!!

You know what my favorite part is? It's the beginning part in the parenthesis! It's like he's whispering to all of us before he opens his chest and throws his wrath down on the SQUID BRAINS at Twitter. Kanye is oh-so gentle when he needs to be.

But Gay Fish is totally right. This is some BENJAMIN BUTTON'S SHIT and a FUCKING FARCE! Twitter should devote an entire department to this issue. And Mr. Twitterfucker himself, Ashton Kutcher, should head this project! The Twitter world should not continue to spin until all fradulanet Kanyes have been shut down. BECAUSE HIS CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUD!!! And his ass is fucking CRAZY!

At first glance, I thought that a twink power bottom was peacefully asleep in Kanye West's lap. If you squint your eyes and play with your ass lips, this could look like the cover of a gay porn. SOME BENJAMIN BUTTFUCK'S SHIT!

The robot lezzie tranny known as Amber Rose took off all her panties to pose in ad for Kanye's new line of sneakers for Louis Vuitton. Bitch is just peddling that ass for a dollar. I can't hate. But it's going to take more than a little Amber Rose ass crack to sell those fugly shoes! If CROCS made sneakers, this is what they would look like. BITCH BOGUS!