Paula Abdul | Dlisted

Paula Abdul As Ron Weasley

Paula Abdul played Ron Weasley in a "Harry Potter" sketch on the UK's "Friday Night Project." She looks less like Ron and more like a Clay Gayken wet dream. Actually, she looks like an extremely tan Howdy Doody. I'd hit it, but only from the back.

Posted by: Michael K

23 comments •

Paula Abdul • YouTubes

Paula Thinks Simon Would Be A Selfish Lover

In a recent intereview with Metro , Paula Abdul was asked if there any sexual chemistry between her and Simon Cowell.

She responded, " Oh God. He’s like a brother, so it would be some scary incest. The thought is terrible. I couldn’t be with him. He’d be a selfish lover – he’d wear his condoms ribbed on the inside. "

Ribbed on the inside! What a comedian that one is and that's not a bad idea for a product actually. I'd buy that shit.

Paula also revealed that she has a new song coming out soon attached to her Greatest Hits album. Paula also has a new perfume coming out soon. Damn, this ho is busy. When does she have time to drink? Joking.

She said, " I smell pretty good most days. My dogs like it, my family likes it and even Simon Cowell likes it. You’ll all be smelling very sexy in a few months."

I'm guessing it's a mixture of weave glue, sweet vicodin and the musty smell of dried up scabs.

Posted by: Michael K

46 comments •

Paula Abdul

Paula Abdul Has Never Been Drunk In Her Life

Here are two clips from last night's amazing premiere of "Hey Paula" on Bravo. The reality TV show follows trainwreck Paula Abdul through her daily life. Basically, Paula's crazy behavior is blamed on being sick and suffering from insomnia. The clip above shows Paula on a 2:30am trip to a NYC Starbucks following an awards show. She has no idea what to order and tells the employees just to make anything for her. She also befriends some strangers from Ireland and asks if she can stay with them when she visits their country. Um...that's how I talk to strangers when I'm DRUNK!

The clip below is Paula visiting the joint that's making her perfume. Basically, it's more of Paula acting like she's on something, but she's just "tired." I think tired is code for Vicodin.

Paula may be a mess, but she's effin gorgeous TV. A true entertainer.

Posted by: Michael K

98 comments •

Paula Abdul • Reality TV

Not Shocking!

Guess what? Paula Abdul acts crazy. This is not shocking news, but it seemed to shock a few people at Thursday night's FiFi Awards in NYC. The FiFi Awards honor the best perfumes in the business. Gay.

Page Six reports that Paula was as usual, out of it. A source said, "They had to delay the show for her to get there, and it was almost impossible to understand her . . . her eyes were half open. She had to have two guys help her to her seat after she left the stage."

This crazy also read the wrong winner! The source went on to say "She opened the envelope and read the winner as Hermes. Then, as the Hermes rep walked down to receive the award, Jane said, 'oops, wait a minute. Oh, my mistake. It's a tie between Hermes and Sean John's Unforgivable."

Paula is also launching her own fragrance called "Vicodin Delight." I wish. Can you imagine? I'd love Vicodin in perfume form. Just spray and all your problems and articulation are gone!

Posted by: Michael K

49 comments •

Crackheads • Paula Abdul

Vicodin Must Make You Really Emotional!

Page Six has obtained an audio tape of Paula Abdul during a conference call with a group of publicists. During the tape Paula lays it on thick getting all emotional.

Paula says on the tape, "I've never been treated this way and I've never seen anybody treated this way. This is just too much to stomach. I've been going through tremendous amounts of a difficult time!"

"I do a call-in every week for OK! Magazine on 'American Idol.' Because of my brilliant job, they want to do a cover on me. I'm being told by Howard Bragman that I'm too old and no one will ever want to do a cover.

"I'm being tested. All I've ever wanted in my life is to be treated fairly and be treated with kindness. And I've never in my entire career been treated this way. The people who are supposed to take care of these things do not. I have to clean up after them everywhere they go. And I'm tired of it. Howard Bragman (her former publicist) on Monday - he did some disgusting behavior. I had to go to Jimmy Kimmel with no publicist there. I go on with no publicist there and I pay this man . . .

"I don't understand how this man can call me a whining bitch. I've never in my life been called a whining bitch and a loser."

Cue the violins!!! Paula also goes on to talk about her medical problems including a disease called Addisons disease. I Wikied and it seems to be some kind of hormonal imbalance. Makes sense!

Oh Paula! Save it for your reality show. Moments like this should be captured on VIDEOtape and seen by millions.

Posted by: Michael K

40 comments •

Paula Abdul

Why Did You Lie Paula?

I knew Paula Abdul was lying when she said she "tripped over Tulip" and messed up her nose! That vicodinhead can't fool me. Apparently, the American Idol staff was just as perplexed when they heard this story, because that's not exactly what happened.

A source said, "Paula did not break her nose. She had pitched a fit, threw something into a mirror or glass object, and a shard of glass struck her in the face, which explains why Paula's nose didn't seem swollen."

Paula's rep denies this version of the story. I'm not sure I believe that version either. I think Paula's dealer played a practical joke on her and switched her coke with Oxyclean powder.

Source: Page Six

Posted by: Michael K

27 comments •

Paula Abdul

Tulip Tripped Her On Purpose

Broken nose my ass! Paula Abdul told a FOX News station how she "chipped" her nose over the weekend. She said she fell face flat to try and avoid killing her chihuahua, Tulip. I'm guessing that Paula's real reason for visiting the hospital was to get more Vicodin. Bitch can hardly keep her eyes open! Tulip doesn't appreciate liars Paula!

VIA BWE

Posted by: Michael K

57 comments •

Paula Abdul

Paula Abdul Broke Her Nose!!

ExtraTV reports that Paula Abdul broke her nose over the weekend. Paula was trying avoid stepping on her chihuahua, Tulip, and fell on her face! Her rep confirms it, but says she was not hospitalized. Paula is currently shooting a reality show and I pray they got that on tape.

I'm betting homegirl was all sorts of drunk and the "broken nose" won't raise a lot of questions when she gets a nose job. Hey, Cameron Diaz did it.

Posted by: Michael K

46 comments •

Paula Abdul

Paul Abdul is a Nightmare in the Air

Flight attendants on a flight from San Jose to Los Angeles almost went crazy by the demands of Paula Abdul. They said that she's nothing like the sweetie-pie she plays on "American Idol."

Paula demanded first-class treatment on Southwest Airlines. The problem is, they don't have a first class!

A source said she demanded to be seated first and when she was told that children and people with disabilities go first, she responded, “But I’m famous! I need to go on first!”

Some passenger shouted at her, “You’re no Sanjaya! You have to board like everyone else!"

Paula pushed her way through and got on first. She also picked a seat in front and told everyone the seat next to her was taken until a flight attendent made her give it up.

It's too bad that amazing show on A&E called "Airline" got cancelled. I'd love to see this crazy ho on that show.

Source

Posted by: Michael K

46 comments •

Paula Abdul

Hmmmm.....?

There's something off about Jamie Lynn Spears and I'm not sure what. The hideous highlights, the fake tan, the scary eyebrows? The new Britney made an apperance at last night's Nick Kids Choice Awards and poised with the crazy Paula Abdul. I'm sure Paula tried to slip her some Vicodin tea.

The picture of Jamie Lynn, Dakota and Elle Fanning scares me. They are the trifecta of evil!

Posted by: Michael K

130 comments •

Britney Spears • Dakota Fanning • Paula Abdul