Royals

The Original Fergie has had it with the British press trashing her 19-year-old daughter's ass. Fergie has spoken out about a comment made by Allison Pearson of the Daily Mail. Allison had this to say about pictures of Princess Beatrice in a bikini, "Can't someone buy that girl a sarong? For her sake, as well as ours."

Yup, that's all she said. That's fucking Disney shit compared to what you're probably thinking. Hopefully, Fergie can't read minds or we'll all get a royal beat down.

Fergie told the NYDN during a press conference for her new reality show, "Touch me, fine, but don't touch my children. This woman (Pearson), I would like to go to her house, to see her family. Should we focus on her derriere?" FYI, here's what Allison Pearson looks like. She looks like she could possibly take down Fergie. Cage fight! Just don't invite Princess Bea, because she could take them all down with one quick assbutt.

Allison stands by her comment and said she never called Bea fat but expressed "a less-than-flattering, if widespread, thought about an unfortunate bikini."

Fergie went on to say, "The press has been absolutely outrageous, and really being very mean about the size of her figure, calling her such horrible names. I think her (Beatrice's) comment was, 'Will they be happy if I get anorexia because then they could write about that, wouldn't they?'" She said her daughter is a size 10 and is perfectly healthy.

Sticks and stones! Princess Bea is a hot BBW who can probably make chicken paillard with her ass cheeks. Allison is just jealous. She wishes she had those skills.

Prince Harry received a medal today for being the sexiest ginge in the world. Ok, they said the medal was for his service in Afghanistan, but we know the real reason. Hot Ginge's auntie, Princess Anne, led the ceremony which was attended by Prince Willy, Prince Charles and that slut Chelsy Davy!

Prince Hot Ginge served 10-weeks in Afghanistan on a top-secret mission. He was supposed to be there for 4-months, but his mission was cut short after the media revealed where he was.

Prince Willy should not have been there. He should have been at home putting egg whites and cocoa butter on his head. The dude is going to be bald before he hits 30.

Prince Willy is getting some heat from the British press for landing a $20 million RAF helicopter in the back garden of girlfriend Kate Middleton's parent's house. The Defence Ministry said the landing on April 3rd was authorized and part of Prince Willy's training.

They said, "The aircraft landed in the field, after taking all necessary safety precautions, and was on the ground for 20 seconds. No one got on or off the aircraft."

Kate and her family watched as Prince Willy showed off for them. The media called the exercise extremely wasteful and think Prince Willy only did it to impress his girlfriend. I think him being Prince is impressive enough.

Prince Willy was recently criticized for using a helicopter to fly himself and Prince Hot Ginge to a stage party.

Prince Willy should just blame it all on Prince Harry and call it a day. That's what younger siblings are for.

Source

Prince Hot Ginge spoke to the media today in England about having to come home early from Afghanistan. Hot Ginge shared a plane with two soldiers who were coming home due to massive injuries.

Hot Ginge said, "Don't call me a hero—those are the heroes. One had lost two limbs—a left arm and a right leg—and another guy who was saved by his mate's body being in the way but took shrapnel to the neck. Both were out cold throughout the whole of the flight."

"Those are the heroes. Those were guys who had been blown up by a mine that they had no idea about, serving their country, doing a normal patrol. "I wouldn't say I'm a hero. I'm no more a hero than anyone else. If you think about it there are thousands and thousands of troops out there."

Who called him a hero? Uh...huh....yeah...ok....whatever you say Hot Ginge! Just take off your top. I really just wanted a reason to post these hot pictures of him in Afghanistan. This is about as much as I want to see of Hot Ginge though. I'm not ready to feast my eyes on his massive fire bush. You have to be ready for red pubes. The last Ginge I got sexy with left tons of red pubies all over my white bed. It looked like a fire ant farm!

Prince Harry returned to England this morning after news of him in Afghanistan was leaked by some fun killer here in the US. Hot Ginge's daddy, Prince Charles, spoke to the media for a bit. He said, "As you can imagine it's obviously a great relief as far as I'm concerned to see him home in one piece. I've been incredibly proud of Harry and I promise you ... equally proud of all the dedicated service given by all our armed forces."

A witness said that Hot Ginge looked "shattered" to be back. He wasn't shattered, he was just stoned. I bet they have some good shit over there. Before leaving Hot Ginge spoke to that slut Chelsey Davy. A source told UsWeekly, "It was one of the happiest and emotional moments of her life. She was in a state of ecstasy and tears."

Hot Ginge also told the press before leaving Afghanistan that he wasn't looking forward to coming back home. He said, “I don't want to sit around in Windsor. But I generally don't like England that much and, you know, it's nice to be away from all the press and the papers and all the general shite they write.” Shite? Yeah, he's a total stoner.

Hot Ginge isn't the only royal going out into battle. Prince Willy will most likely be next. He plans to serve on the front lines on a Royal Navy ship very soon.

Prince Hot Ginge has been pulled from Mission: Save The World and is returning home to England reports People. Harry had been in Afghanistan since December and the British Army had made an agreement with the media to keep that shit quiet, but news leaked yesterday. The fun is over.

The Ministry of Defense said, "Following a detailed assessment of the risks by the operational chain of command, the decision has been taken ... to withdraw Prince Harry from Afghanistan immediately. This decision has been taken primarily on the basis that the worldwide media coverage of Prince Harry in Afghanistan could impact on the security of those who are deployed there, as well as the risks to him as an individual soldier."

23-year-old Harry was due to stay there until April on a secret mission against the Taliban. He told the press, "[I] finally get the chance to actually do the soldiering I wanted to do from ever since I joined." He also said he hoped his mother would be proud.

Damn you fun killers! It's ok Prince Hot Ginge, you can come visit me and we'll play soldiers in the desert. You can give me a few shots to the face and pop my cannon.

Harry will be back in Afghanistan. I know it. You can't keep a hot ginge down for long.

The Sun reports that Prince Harry's sexy ass is in Afghanistan fighting with British forces against the Taliban. Harry has been there since December on a secret mission. The UK media agreed to keep the mission quiet to prevent the Taliban from seeking out Sexy Red. The media agreed to only publish the story when Harry was safely back home. The agreement was terminated after the Drudge Report published the news today.

He had planned to tour Iraq last year, but that was cancelled due to security fears.

The HBIC of the British Army said, “I am very disappointed that foreign websites have decided to run this story without consulting us. This is in stark contrast to the highly responsible attitude that the whole of the UK print and broadcast media, along with a small number of overseas, who have entered into an understanding with us over the coverage of Prince Harry on operations. After a lengthy period of discussion between the MoD and the editors of regional, national and international media, the editors took the commendable attitude to restrain their coverage."

Prince Harry will be fine. I'm praying for him, because he has to return safely and make me the first male Princess of England. Harry's a smart kid. I'm sure if he runs into the Taliban, he'll put down his gun and challenge them to a good old-fashioned drink-off. You know who would win that one.

Thanks Gina