Royals

Prince Harry left a London nightclub on Saturday night at 3am drunk. Photographers surrounded him and he decided to have a little fun. He tried to hit the dude, but fell on the ground instead. He got into his car and was driven away. The royal family said he did nothing wrong.

Harry is due to go to Iraq in a few weeks, so he had a few drinks. Big deal!

Britney and Harry should get together. They really could tear up some paparazzi.

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Ok, this is just crazy talk and Americans better not listen to this trash. Prince Charles has a beef (pun intended, although it's not really beef) with McDonald's and think they should be banned! He was meeting with some nutritionist lady that talked about how she was trying to get school kids to put salads and fruits in their lunch boxes instead of junk food. The Prince then asked her, "Have you got anywhere with McDonald's? Have you tried getting it banned? That is the key." This pissed off Mickey D's and they shot him. No, they said they were "disappointed" and that Prince Harry has been photographed eating their crap as well as Prince William. Yes, he's right. McDonald's is trash and probably made from worms, but I don't give a fuck! How can those words even come out of his mouth? I don't understand! Source

Prince Harry's line was selected for a 6-month tour of duty in Southern Iraq and he couldn't be happier. Harry, 22, even threatened to quit if his line wasn't selected. A source said, "He is over the moon. He has done all the courses to take his troop to war and it would have been sad if he was pulled out. He joined the regiment to do what the regiment does. He would have seen all his new friends disappearing off and he would be left behind with his girlfriend Chelsy." Harry will be the first royal to serve in a war since his uncle 25 years ago. Gross, send Prince William instead. Harry's the hot one. Actually, send Camilla! You know that ho can kick some ass. Source

Madonna is probably pissing in her depends! She's finally a grand English lady! Madge and Guy Ritchie had drinks the other night in London with Prince Harry. The three had a two hour chat at Mayfair’s Mahiki club. They most talked about Madge's African adventures while popping $200 champagne cocktails.

Prince Harry is interested in African orphans and even put together his own charity. Harry shed a tear for his love of the African oprahs. They also talked about other things, but who really cares?

Witnesses say that Madge and Guy looked happier than ever. They have had marriage problems in the past and now look to be working them out.

Chim-Chim cheerie or something. You know Madge is going to try and hit that so she can be a Princess. Princess Saggyvag!

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Thanks Youri

Kate Middleton isn't officially engaged to Prince William and the media is already claiming she's the new Princess Diana. The paparazzi has been relentless in hounding her ass and dozens of photogs regularly camp outside her home. Recently, the number of photographers outside her home as dropped due to Prince William's plea to leave her alone.

Kate has been dating Prince William since 2003. Her family owns a mail order company. They are considered commoners even though they are wealthy. Kate works as a buyer for British clothing company, Jigsaw.

The papers have also listened to the Prince's plea and aren't using as many photographs of Kate in their coverage. The Daily Mail said, "[The Daily Mail] will do nothing likely to cause distress or upset to Miss Middleton and will always act responsibly in respect of any photographs taken of her."

I actually like Kate Middleton. She's average, smart and normal. She doesn't look like she cares at all. That being said, I hope her dumps her ass for Britney Spears. Brit is definitely Princess material.

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