Naomi Campbell

Naomi the Terrible showed up to Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday dinner last night even though she's been banned from presenting at tomorrow's concert in Hyde Park. Mandela let Naomi come as long as she sat at the kid's table and didn't talk to anybody. Naomi showed up with her new boyfriend, Marcus Elias. New boyfriend did a good job of hiding the bruises on his face because you know Naomi beats his ass.

Other guests at Mandela's birthday dinner included Oprah, Neil Diamond, Forrest Whitaker, Chelsea Clinton and a bunch of other hos. And who the hell does Oprah think she is? Karl Lagerfeld?!

Naomi Campbell is not wanted at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday celebration this weekend in London. Mandela himself demanded that Naomi be taken off the list of presenters. She was supposed to introduce some musical acts and shit, but Mandela is not happy with her recent arrest and now she's been banished to the bleachers.

A source told the Daily Mail, "The man himself intervened and she was pulled off the list. He was disappointed with her recent arrest - particularly as she was wearing a 46664 baseball cap at the time."

46664 was Mandela's inmate number and it's also the name of his AIDS charity. The source went on to say, "The organizers felt that this type of negative publicity goes against everything Mandela stands for and didn't want her arrest to be associated with the charity concert." Naomi and Mandela have been friends for over 10 years and she even called him her "honorary pepaw." Well, she said "grandfather," but you know...

Seriously, you need serious help when even the all-forgiving Nelson Mandela doesn't want to deal with your crazy antics. I mean, even Amy Wino has been invited to take the stage.

Naomi should stay home anyway and spend the night rubbing Rogaine foam on her head.

Naomi Campbell (or Nomi Macamball as my mother calls her) covered her face in shame today as she entered court. Okay, she's not covering her face in shame. She's probably covering her crumbling ass hairline! Homegirl needs to put some manure and donkey piss to make her hair grow back. It works every time. Not really, but I really want to see Naomi put donkey piss on her forehead.

And how the hell did Naomi get Porky Pig's pepaw to be her lawyer?!

So... Naomi pleaded guilty to four charges of being a Grade-A cunt! The charges stem from an incident at Heathrow airport where Naomi freaked out on two police officers. She also called them names like "blonde bitch" and "motherfucker." She so sweet.

Naomi will be sentenced later, but Magistrates told her ass they have a community punishment in mind. NOOO!!!!! Hasn't the community been through enough? Lock her up in the chokey! Maybe the hos in there can fix up her hairline.

UPDATE: Naomi's sentence has been handed down! Naomi was ordered to complete 200 hours of community service. She's escaped the chokey! Unfortunately, the community doesn't have a say in any of this. She will also have to pay $400 to each officer she attacked and $300 to the air captain. (The Sun)

The always gracious Naomi Campbell has once again shown us all what a sweet and lovable person she truly is. Naomi was happily posing for pictures outside Cipriani in London when she suddenly turned into her normal, crazy self and started freaking out.

A source told The London Paper (via Showbiz Spy), "Suddenly Naomi flipped and started swinging her arms about manically. No one could work out what was wrong with her. She was shouting and screaming as her friends desperately tried to get her into the car. She was ranting incomprehensibly."

Oh that Naomi! That's just her way of saying "goodbye and have a good night." At least nobody was killed or maimed this time. Naomi is improving! In her defense, you would be a grouchy bitch too if your hair suddenly decided to pack up and scream, "I quit this bitch!" Even Naomi's hair can't stand her ass!

The other day, I posted pictures of drunk ass Naomi Campbell falling down in Italy. Her agent claims she wasn't drunk and gave the dumbest excuse ever.

The agent told The Sun, “It was just a bit of fun and not down to drink. Naomi was playing this trust game, where you fall into a friend’s arms. It’s very hot there, so that could also have had something to do with it.”

Does her agent think we were just beaten over the head with a Blackberry? Like Naomi plays "trust games." The bitch doesn't trust anyone! She probably gives the mean eye to her mirror reflection thinking its giving her dirty looks.

Besides, nobody with a pulse would play that game with Naomi. If you dropped her ass, you might as well call your family and tell them to make funeral arrangements.

Trust games?! Try again!

Image: INFDaily.com

When Naomi Campbell falls, nobody should laugh. Has anybody heard from the dude in the checkered shirt? His face will be on a milk carton soon.

Drunk ass Naomi was partying in Capri, Italy last night with her man, Marcus Elias, when she stumbled and hit the ground. I'm not even going to laugh out loud because I know she's watching. I'll lock myself in the bathroom and quietly cackle into a towel. I'm not taking any chances.

Supermodel and superbitch Naomi Campbell said that she's ready to have a baby after having some sort of operation. Naomi wouldn't say what the operation was or what was it for. She recently had a cyst removed in Brazil, but I don't know if it has anything to do with that.

She probably had an ovary transplant. Her original ones jumped ship because they didn't want any part of that fuckery.

Naomi said, “Now I can have a child I would like one. I’m even willing to have one without a father. I know that I am ready. I know that with a baby I would change, I’d calm down. With a child you cannot accept compromises. You have to give your full self."

And you thought MiserAlba was a grouchy pregnant lady? Imagine Naomi Campbell! I pity the man that chooses to have a baby with her crazy ass! Any man that is willing to deal with a knocked up Naomi is an idiot with a death wish.

If she does have a kid, we'll have to put our pennies together and send baby a little bullet proof vest and a helmet as a "welcome to the world and good luck" gift!

Source

How many homo alligators had to die for this coat? This year's annual gay alligator white party is going to be a sad affair, because most of them were sacrificed for Andre Leon Talley's coat!

Andre looks like Jambi the Genie's gay and grouchy step-brother. I'm expecting him to shout, "Mekka-lekka hi mekka hiney ho! Mekka-lekka hi mekka chahney ho!"

Speaking of hiney hos, Andre escorted MC Naomi Campbell to last night's CFDA Awards. "U Can't Touch This," because she'll kill your ass if you try.

Supermodel and super ass kicker, Naomi Campbell, was officially charged for allegedly beating and spitting at cops during an incident at Heathrow in April. Naomi was thrown off of a flight, because....well...because she's a bitch. Cops were called and that's when shit went down.

Naomi was charged with five offenses - three counts of assaulting a constable, one of disorderly conduct likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress and one of using threatening or abusive words or behaviour to cabin crew. Basically, she was charged for being a crazy ass bitch.

Her lawyer told reporters outside the police station, "Miss Campbell is bitterly disappointed that the prosecutors have advised her she is to be prosecuted for various offences. She respects that decision and she hopes this matter is dealt with expeditiously." Translation: Naomi is going to kill prosecutors using her bare teeth only.

Naomi is due in court on June 20th.

Throw her in the chokey, but send a camera crew with her! Think of all the hot prison catfights starring Naomi. I'm sure at least one of those catfights will look something like this:

Source: AFP

Naomi Campbell celebrated her 38th Birfday in Cannes last night, but the night ended with Naomi in crocodile tears after Diddy threw her off his yacht! TMZ reports that Naomi showed up to Diddy's party and the two got into a major fight which led to Naomi being thrown off.

The Mirror claims the tears had nothing to do with Diddy. They were tears of joy! Naomi was so overcome with emotion from seeing her friends. False! Naomi does not cry and she certainly doesn't experience joy.

Naomi has also been getting shit for hanging around con man Christopher Rocancourt. She partied with him earlier last night and has been dragging him to other Cannes events.

And if all that isn't bad enough, Naomi will be charged for attacking a policeman at Heathrow last month. In case you forgot, Naomi was pulled off of a flight to Los Angeles after she threw a hissy fit over a lost bag. She allegedly shouted racial slurs, kicked, punched and spit at several cops. She is expected in court next week.

Poor Naomi. I feel for her. It must be hard being that bitchy. I pity her current assistant. You know she felt the wrath of Naomi last night. We should send her assistant a bullet-proof vest and armor suit for future use.