Nicole Richie

Nicole Richie apparently packed up her happy little shit, grabbed Sad Clown Baby and moved out of the house she shared with Joel Madden after a some stupid fight. Nicole didn't exactly move out, because she came back the next day. A source told Star Magazine: "This was her way of sending Joel a message."

HA! We've all done that shit. One time, I had a huge fight with my live-in-boyfriend at the time and I threatened to move out. I knew I had nowhere to go, so I just went around the place packing up all my shit. While stuffing boxes with my crap, I would shout at him, "Fuck this shit! I'm over this. I'm leaving for good this time. You hear me? I said I'm leaving." He didn't stop me, so I kept at it. I even went to the kitchen and started packing up dishes. "These fucking dishes are mine! There's no way I'm going to let your whores eat off the dishes I paid for. I'm through with this shit. I'm LEAVING. L-E-A-V-I-N-G. I'm not coming back! Did you get that?!" At that point I started to panic, because I really didn't want to have to spend the night in the shelter. I finally said, "You know what! Fuck this. You leave!" He was probably embarrassed for me, because he apologized and asked me to stay. I responded, "I'll fucking think about it! Let me sleep on it and I'll tell you in the morning!" Ain't love grand?

Back to Nicole! The fighting didn't end after Nicole's walkout. A few days later the two traveled to NYC for fashion week and fought the whole time. After fighting at some party, Joel ditched Nicole and went back to L.A. At a VMA party, Joel started flirting with Mischa Barton. Wonky McValtrex, who was also the party, took pictures of Joel and Mischa dancing and texted them to Nicole. Nicole immediately accused Joel of cheating on her with the cellulite wonder and now they are sleeping in separate rooms.

Hmmm....I feel for Nicole and I would shed a tear for her, but I'm too busy not giving a fuck. That's what she gets for shacking up with a member of Good Charlotte.

Nicole Richie was leaving the Charlotte Ronson after-party in NYC the other night when a Swedish tourist started taking her picture. A witness told Page Six that Nicole handled it the Kanye West way. The witness said Nicole shouted at them, "I'm not an animal," and then she "jumped over the velvet rope, ripped the camera out of the girl's hand, and smashed it to the ground."

Wow. Nicole Richie jumping over a velvet rope? That sounds kind of cute actually. It probably looked like a tiny chihuahua daintily hopping over strips of cardboard.

And what Nicole didn't realize is that the Swedish tourist was taking her picture because she really thought Nicole was an animal! A marmoset with a silly headband. Seriously, Nicole needs to loosen that baby belt on her head and chill out! She should be happy that people are still taking her stupid ass picture.

Below is a video of a sweet and tiny chihuahua daintily hopping over strips of cardboard. I take it back. There's no way Nicole looked this cute.

If Nicole Richie isn't wearing one of Phoebe Price's luxurious bedazzled headbands, then I'm going to cross her off my Christmas card list! Okay, she was never on my card list, but I will write her name and then quickly cross it off....with a SHARPIE!

On second thought, I don't think one of PP's headbands would even fit Nicole. She has a chickpea head. Nicole's headband probably came off the wrist of her Crystal Splendor Barbie.

Here's Sad Clown Baby's mommy outside the Marc Jacobs show last night.

Proving once again that talent doesn't matter in Hollyweird, Nicole Richie is getting ready to turn her novel "The Truth About Diamonds" into a TV show. That shit is about some dumb bitch in Hollywood who is adopted into rock royalty and finds herself....forget it. Like you give a giraffe's penis (don't click on that) about the plot of this crap.

Nicole told E! that she's planning to take on my roles for the show, "I would definitely produce and definitely be in the show. I don't know if I need to be the star of this show. I've got a lot going on right now." Yes, ordering nannies around, going to Starbucks ten times a day and buying a bunch of fugly shit really keeps her busy.

I'll admit that I wasted a few hours of my life reading the book Nicole Richie clearly didn't write. It wasn't as bad as Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see? (I hate that shit, I'm sorry), but it has no business becoming a TV show. I'd rather watch every episode of "Babes" than 1 hour of Nicole's show.

Nicole Richie got bitchie (I know, I had to) early this morning outside of the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. TMZ reports that Nicole and some other skeezer got into it at the valet stand around 1 this morning. Apparently, Nicole got so wild that security was called in to take her hood rat ass off hotel property. Awww...Nicole still has it! Sad Clown Baby hasn't changed her.

The pictures of Nicole in the green dress and rhinestone belt on her head were taken inside the Hard Rock Hotel last night. She partied with her man, the rest of Good Charlotte and Carey Hart.

Bless Nicole's midget heart for trying to get all rough and shit. That's like when a chihuahua starts yapping at your ass thinking it's tough shit. You just have to sigh and laugh a little on the inside. It's endearing!

Here's also some pictures of bad ass Nicole on the Fourth of July in Malibu with some dick bag in neon sunglasses.

ONTD posted a bunch of pictures of MK Olsen, Nicole Richie, her tampon boyfriend and a bunch of other twats at some birfday party. A flannel themed birfday party. How in dyke hell are they going to throw a flannel party and not invite SamRo and HoHan?! SamRo has a special pair of boxers for parties like this.

The party also featured a pinata, most likely filled with crack rocks and Hoodia. These whores should have really considered throwing a bubble bath party instead. These greasy skanks look like they could use a wash or two...or....three....or ten thousand.

I feel for that dog.

Nicole Richie needs to stop stealing hot shit from my abuelita's closet. Nicole is trying sooo hard to look like a middle-aged housewife from the 70s who swings with her husband on the weekends, but she's starting to look like Rachel "Chupacabra" Zoe and you know those two twats despise each other. They probably put "chunky" spells on one another.

Anyway, here's Dorthy Zbornak Roper Endora at a Cartier event last night. Fuggie Fug also wore a frock that would look better as a picnic tablecloth. Seriously, laminate that shit and put some friend chicken on it.

I also threw in some pictures of Common to add a little hotness to this post full of fug.

PROGRAMMING NOTE: I'm about to get on a flight to Vegas for a mini-vacay, so this might be my last post of the day. I'll try and post something later, but you know how I am. My body will probably drag me to the nearest bar and you should always listen to what your body says. Also, Friday, Saturday and Sunday will be light posting days for me. I'll be back to my regular schedule on Monday. That's if I don't get arrested for trying to do sexy times with Liberace's wax statute. It's possible!

Nicole Richie needs to hit rewind and do this shit again. The make-up, the hair, the rag, the fugly ass purse....it's making my eyes dry heave. Somewhere in Fort Myers, Florida, a room at the Howard Johnson is missing its matching drapes and bedspread. That shit wouldn't even look hot on Endora from "Bewitched."

And who did this to her face?! It's like she handed her make-up artist a picture of Skeletor Anthony and said, "I want to look like this." Dead fug.

Here's Nicole at a Women in Film event last night. You know, because she's been in sooooooo many films.

Joel Madden posted a blog on his website with the title: WE DID IT!! NICOLE AND I FINALLY GOT MARRIED!! click here for the pictures!!

When you clicked on the post, you got this gorgeous picture above. I instantly knew it was fake because Nicole Richie and Joel are nowhere near as stunning or glamorous as these two bitches above.

Joel wrote the post in response to Star Magazine's claim that the two were throwing a $2 million wedding. Joel said he's been getting messages and texts from friends and family about this so-called affair. He went on to say, "Sooooo if you were pissed at me for not inviting you or even telling you, dont blame me, theres nothing to worry about. Its just star magazine. How long do you think it will be before they write we called it off, or we broke up? i give them a week or two......"

When these two lovetwats finally decide to attach the ball and chain to each other, they should wear gorilla suits like in the picture. It would make for much more attractive wedding pictures.

"Heeeeeelooooooo, is it me you're loooking for?"

Harlow Winter Kate is like 4-months old and she already has 2 magazine shoots under her belt. She should try out for "America's Next Top Model" next season. Can she smile with her eyes? Well, it wasn't really Harlow's choice to pose for these shoots. She's not into this shit. She's looking for the exit. Unfortunately sad clown baby, you're stuck!

Nicole Richie whored out her baby Harlow for Harper's Bazaar. Don't judge Nicole! What else does she have to do? She probably doesn't cook, clean, work or change diapers. She has to fill her schedule with something she can entertain her brain with.

Harlow better have been paid a shit load for this mess, because it interrupted her 20-hour nap.

Visit HB to see more pictures of sad clown baby with two dbags