Demi Moore

Demi Moore told David Letterman last night that she's a fan of leech therapy. The 46-year-old admitted to visiting Austria to partake in a detox treatment that involves your body being covered in leeches. Demi said, "I was in Austria doing a cleanse and part of the treatment was leech therapy. These aren't just swamp leeches though - we are talking about highly trained medical leeches. These are not some low level scavengers - we're talking high level blood suckers."

Why bother going all the way to Austria when she has her own leeches at home - her daughters!

She said you get your body ready for the leeches by shaving and bathing in turpentine. "They have a little enzyme that when they are biting down in you it gets released in your blood and generally you bleed for quite a bit - and your health is optimized. It detoxifies your blood - I'm feeling very detoxified right now. I did it in some woman's house laying on her bed. We did a little sampler first, which is in the belly button. It crawls in and you feel it bite down on you and you want to go, 'You bastard.' Then you relax and work on your Lemaze breathing just to kind of relax. You watch it swell up on your blood, watching it get fatter and fatter - then when its super drunk on your blood it just kind of rolls over like it is stumbling out of the bar."

Demi also can't wait to visit Austria again for a second session. She only had 4 leeches the first time and felt a little cheated. Demi definitely needs to go back for a second time, but only to let the leeches suck the blood out of her head. Methinks her head is full of blood and that's why she's trying all these zany beauty treatments. It's not that serious!

I'm also calling bullshit on her story. When she said "Austria," she meant Beverly Hills. And when she said "leeches," she meant Botox.

Here's Demi with Tallulah Belle, Bruce and Fetus Girlfriend at the premiere of "Flawless" in NYC last night. Whatever Demi's using, it's working. Her daughter looks older than her.

Rumer Willis and Demi Moore are actually related. I was sort of beginning to doubt it and thought Bruce Willis and Jay Leno got together to create Rumer. I finally see it! I also see their dead eyes void of any kind of personality. Like mother like daughter!

Rumer, Demi and Ashton Kutcher all dressed up to attend De Grisogono’s Hollywood Dominos Benefiting The Art Of Elysium in Beverly Hills last night. At first I thought this was a damn costume party, but the other people at the event aren't wearing costumes.

These three look like they are going to a 1920s themed murder mystery cocktail party. Ashton Kutcher cannot be serious. He must be punk'ing himself, because that ensemble is laughing at him.

Ashton Kutcher's 30th Birthday party at Socialista in NYC might have become a party for Hep instead! The New York City Health Department announced that a bartender at the joint tested positive for Hepatitis A. The bartender only worked three nights and one of those nights was February 7th, Ashton's Birthday party. The bartender also worked on the 8th and 11th. The Health Dept. has asked that everyone who attended the party get vaccinated right away.

Guests at Ashton's party included, Bruce Willis, Demi Moore, Madonna, Lucy Liu, Gwyneth Paltrow, Liv Tyler, Eric Dane, Rebecca Gayheart, Salma Hayek and Roberto Cavalli.

Hep A is less serious form of Hep and will usually keep you in bed for a couple of weeks, but you won't die. The bartender reportedly caught it on a recent trip to Honduras.

A celebrity Hep scare and Paris Hilton isn't to blame?! She must be kind of bummed.

This is why it's so hard to eat delicious snacks at a bar. I'm so afraid of catching Hep A, but I can't help it. The snacks are so tasty even if they have a coating of Hep! That's probably what keeps them crunchy.

Source - Image: INFDaily.com

At this moment Madonna is probably deleting Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher from her Blackberry and erasing their memory from her precious brain. Demi and Ashton have apparently not shown up to Kabbalah's Shabbat dinner after Friday services or any other events in months! A source told MSNBC's The Scoop that Demi and Ashton used to show up to events all the fucking time and now they barely show their faces. Ashton was also spotted shopping last week without his red string.

Demi and Ashton were married in a Kabbalah ceremony. Sources close to the Kabbalah Center in Los Angeles say it's "odd" that they seemed to have cut ties with them.

Maybe Tommy Girl got to them! Madonna better send in her team to fight Xenu and the aliens. A Kabbalah/Scientology war only seems natural.

Demi probably realized that she would much rather spend her dough on plastic surgery than on Kabbalah. I'm with her.