Fake Asses

Tuesday, January 29th 2008

Foxy Gets Denied

Foxy Brown has to get her hearing checked with the common people. Foxy had asked a judge if she could get out of jail early, so she could travel to California to get her hearing checked and hearing implant by some fancy doctor. Judge Melissa Jackson has denied her and told Foxy she could get her shit checked out in New York. AP reports that Judge Melissa called Foxy's request "desperate and frivolous." Those two words can also be used to describe Foxy.

Foxy will now have to get her hearing checked by the Department of Health. Good. Now that bitch can wait for 4-hours to see a doctor like everybody else.

She is currently serving a 1-year sentence at Rikers for violating probation.

Foxy claimed if she didn't get treated in California she was going to die or something like that. This bitch just won't stop complaining. The Judge sounds like a hot piece though. I wonder if she shouted at Foxy, "YOU ARE DENIED BITCH! Can you hear that?!"

Posted by: Michael K


Wednesday, January 23rd 2008

Lie Telling By Lenny Kravitz

Lenny Kravitz needs to stop lying! He claims that he's been celibate for three years. He told Maxim Magazine (via Page Six) that he's going to wait until marriage. Lenny said, "Where I'm at in life, the women have got to come with something else, not just the body, but the mind and spirit. It usually trips them out, but that's the way it's going to be. I'm looking at the big picture."

The big picture being porn, because Lenny has to be getting his rocks off someway. He is made of pure sex. You can't deny that, Lenny. You have a gift and need to share it with the world.

I also hate to break it Lenny, but doing it in the ass counts as sex. The Japanese school girl theory doesn't work.

Image: Wenn

Posted by: Michael K


Wednesday, January 16th 2008

Bitch Can't Hear....AGAIN!

Foxy Brown is once again claiming she's deaf or something. Foxy is currently serving 1-year in prison for an assault charge. She's asked the judge for early release due to an ear condition. Bitch please. Wait...she might not have heard me. BITCH PLEASE!!!!

She wrote a letter to the judge: "I ask you to please take into consideration that my health is in jeopardy. Yes, I've made some bad choices and stupid mistakes. But please understand that sitting in a prison with murderers and criminals is not rehabilitating or what I need to deal with my inner issues."

In 2006 Foxy had an electronic device implanted into her ear to prevent total hearing loss. Foxy claims she needs to travel to California to receive proper treatment.

Her lawyer said, "If her hearing is damaged any further, it will affect the way she hears and it will affect the way she sings. It will have dire consequences on her ability to maintain her profession and livelihood."

Foxy still has a few months on her sentence. Homegirl is full of excuses. You better believe that if you or I complained about this shit, they would slap us in the ear and tell us to walk it off.

Source: ABC News

Thanks Vany

Posted by: Michael K


Tuesday, January 15th 2008

It's War!

Even with all that Iggy drama last year, Ellen Degeneres managed to score the top spot as America's favorite TV star. The annual poll was released yesterday and Ellen managed to push Oprah off her pedestal. Oprah has been #1 on the Harris Poll for the past five years. Here's how the rest of the list looks and my thoughts:

1. Ellen Degeneres - NO! Iggy hates her and so do I!
2. Oprah - Who?
3. Jay Leno - Ok!
4. Hugh Laurie from House - Eh
5. Jon Stewart - Ok!
6. David Letterman - Ok!
7. Stephen Colbert - A-Ok!
8. Bill O'Reilly - BARF ALERT
9. Ray Romano - Who?
10. Homer Simpson - Yes!

Bill O'Fucking Reilly?! He's about as likable as puss-spewing anal growth. Martha Stewart is more likable than him. You know as long as there's no Rachael Ray on this list then I'm ok. Oprah however is not going to like this. It's war Ellen! Oprah war.

Source: Reuters

Posted by: Michael K


Monday, January 14th 2008

Never Say Never

Jenna Jameson dragged herself out of her coffin to attend the AVN Awards in Las Vegas this past weekend. At the AVN she announced that she is retiring from porn. She told the audience, "Honesty is key. I will never ever ever spread my legs again in this industry. Ever!"

The audience then booed her. They probably just booed her, because they wanted her fugly ass off the stage.

I don't think she left porn, I think porn left her. The majority of people out there do not want to see men doing dead bodies. That's illegal! Never say never. Jenna suddenly thinks she's too fucking good. She acts like people care that she's retiring. She's acting like her pussy doesn't have diseases. Please! She'll be spreading them again before she knows it.


Wenn

Posted by: Michael K


Monday, January 7th 2008

Horsey In Lingerie

Heidi Montag is showing off what money can buy in Februay's Maxim. Heidi looks like she was made out of old silicone taken from 20-year-old implants. She is not hot. I know straight dudes find her hot, but straights dudes also do sex with goats sometimes. Gay men prefer cucumbers. Well! Sometimes that's the only thing around.

Heidi also spoke to the magazine about her show. When asked how real "The Hills is, she said, "The Hills is a show that’s 22 minutes long about seven people’s lives. It’s edited for drama, and there are editors and story lines. If someone walks in front of the camera, we have to redo the shot. So it’s not exactly how things always are. It’s not like The Truman Show. They’re not with us all the time, although I wish they were, because it would be a way crazier show. Let’s see how Lauren would look then!"

And what does she think of Lauren? "She’s changed. Some people go more Hollywood than others. We’re from different backgrounds. She grew up in that spoiled Laguna world, and I grew up with humble beginnings. She’s very controlling. She was crazy about how much time I spent with Spencer, and I had to see her every day. I’ve heard from other people that she’s a big diva now. “Insiders” say."

Just STFU already! Go to the damn plastic surgeon again and have him sew your mouth shut permanently. Put it on my tab.

Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, January 3rd 2008

Who Will Save Your Soul?

 
Raz B, his brother Ricky Romance and Chris Stokes were out last night having a gay old time outside Mr. Chow's in Beverly Hills. TMZ caught the three whoreateers chumming around. Raz B told the cameras, "We love each other, man!"
 
So one day you're accusing someone of raping your ass, then you take it back and then you're out sharing a plate of sweet and sour pork with them? This is publicity whoring at its worst.
 
I had no idea who any of these people were before all their drama and now I know who they are! Mission accomplished boys! Good job.
 
TMZ has the video if you care
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Thursday, December 27th 2007

You Mean To Tell Me That Reality Show Romances Are Fake?!

 
Tailor Made is cheating on New York?! Say it ain't so! Tailor Made and his new lovely tranny, New York, are engaged, but Gatecrasher reports that at his company Christmas party Tailor Made was all over other chicks or should I say "real" chicks.
 
Tailor Made works for the fashion company Marc Ecko and was acting the fool at their Xmas party last week. A source said, "He was dancing, and kissing a blond with curly hair, then holding hands with a girl with short straight brown hair." He was also falling over left and right. When some girl helped him up, he hit on her too. It's his last chance to get any real vagina. 
 
He did however talk about New York and how much he loved her. Vh1 probably called him and reminded him to do so.
 
Speaking of Xmas parties. Don't you just love company Christmas parties? I really enjoy watching the office manager down a dozen shots of Patron, riding her skirt up to YMCA, making out with the boyfriend of one of the admin assistants and then ralphing her dinner into a urinal in the men's room. Sound familiar? Yeah, I'm sure that was you at your company Christmas party!
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Friday, December 14th 2007

Too Many Boobs To Count

 
Beth, your boob's in the way. No, not Dog, the other boob. You could put a pitcher of beer and 4 glasses on that titty shelf. Dog & Beth Chapman came out of semi-hiding last night in Los Angeles to attend the Ed Hardy fashion show and party with Sly Stallone. Talk about a big elephant in the room. No, not Beth's titties again. I'm talking about Dog. 
 
That picture of Dog, Beth and Sly should be an ad to warn people about the dangers of skin cancer.  
 
 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


Tuesday, December 11th 2007

Ass Out, Back To Black

 
Nothing starts your morning like seeing Britney's bare, sunburned ass. It's staring at me with a grimace on its face. It's saying to me "Pleeeease saaaveeee me."  Brit Brit once again was at the Four Seasons yesterday where she showed off her newly dyed weave. Back to black. She probably realized that black covers up the dirt better. That way she never has to wash her weave again. 
 
She was also wore that 2 cent pink wig to go to Starbucks on Sunset. Looking like a sex machine or is it a barf machine? One of those. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Posted by: Michael K


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