Fake Asses

Foxy Brown has to get her hearing checked with the common people. Foxy had asked a judge if she could get out of jail early, so she could travel to California to get her hearing checked and hearing implant by some fancy doctor. Judge Melissa Jackson has denied her and told Foxy she could get her shit checked out in New York. AP reports that Judge Melissa called Foxy's request "desperate and frivolous." Those two words can also be used to describe Foxy.

Foxy will now have to get her hearing checked by the Department of Health. Good. Now that bitch can wait for 4-hours to see a doctor like everybody else.

She is currently serving a 1-year sentence at Rikers for violating probation.

Foxy claimed if she didn't get treated in California she was going to die or something like that. This bitch just won't stop complaining. The Judge sounds like a hot piece though. I wonder if she shouted at Foxy, "YOU ARE DENIED BITCH! Can you hear that?!"

Lenny Kravitz needs to stop lying! He claims that he's been celibate for three years. He told Maxim Magazine (via Page Six) that he's going to wait until marriage. Lenny said, "Where I'm at in life, the women have got to come with something else, not just the body, but the mind and spirit. It usually trips them out, but that's the way it's going to be. I'm looking at the big picture."

The big picture being porn, because Lenny has to be getting his rocks off someway. He is made of pure sex. You can't deny that, Lenny. You have a gift and need to share it with the world.

I also hate to break it Lenny, but doing it in the ass counts as sex. The Japanese school girl theory doesn't work.

Image: Wenn

Foxy Brown is once again claiming she's deaf or something. Foxy is currently serving 1-year in prison for an assault charge. She's asked the judge for early release due to an ear condition. Bitch please. Wait...she might not have heard me. BITCH PLEASE!!!!

She wrote a letter to the judge: "I ask you to please take into consideration that my health is in jeopardy. Yes, I've made some bad choices and stupid mistakes. But please understand that sitting in a prison with murderers and criminals is not rehabilitating or what I need to deal with my inner issues."

In 2006 Foxy had an electronic device implanted into her ear to prevent total hearing loss. Foxy claims she needs to travel to California to receive proper treatment.

Her lawyer said, "If her hearing is damaged any further, it will affect the way she hears and it will affect the way she sings. It will have dire consequences on her ability to maintain her profession and livelihood."

Foxy still has a few months on her sentence. Homegirl is full of excuses. You better believe that if you or I complained about this shit, they would slap us in the ear and tell us to walk it off.

Source: ABC News

Thanks Vany

Even with all that Iggy drama last year, Ellen Degeneres managed to score the top spot as America's favorite TV star. The annual poll was released yesterday and Ellen managed to push Oprah off her pedestal. Oprah has been #1 on the Harris Poll for the past five years. Here's how the rest of the list looks and my thoughts:

1. Ellen Degeneres - NO! Iggy hates her and so do I!
2. Oprah - Who?
3. Jay Leno - Ok!
4. Hugh Laurie from House - Eh
5. Jon Stewart - Ok!
6. David Letterman - Ok!
7. Stephen Colbert - A-Ok!
8. Bill O'Reilly - BARF ALERT
9. Ray Romano - Who?
10. Homer Simpson - Yes!

Bill O'Fucking Reilly?! He's about as likable as puss-spewing anal growth. Martha Stewart is more likable than him. You know as long as there's no Rachael Ray on this list then I'm ok. Oprah however is not going to like this. It's war Ellen! Oprah war.

Source: Reuters

Jenna Jameson dragged herself out of her coffin to attend the AVN Awards in Las Vegas this past weekend. At the AVN she announced that she is retiring from porn. She told the audience, "Honesty is key. I will never ever ever spread my legs again in this industry. Ever!"

The audience then booed her. They probably just booed her, because they wanted her fugly ass off the stage.

I don't think she left porn, I think porn left her. The majority of people out there do not want to see men doing dead bodies. That's illegal! Never say never. Jenna suddenly thinks she's too fucking good. She acts like people care that she's retiring. She's acting like her pussy doesn't have diseases. Please! She'll be spreading them again before she knows it.

Wenn

Heidi Montag is showing off what money can buy in Februay's Maxim. Heidi looks like she was made out of old silicone taken from 20-year-old implants. She is not hot. I know straight dudes find her hot, but straights dudes also do sex with goats sometimes. Gay men prefer cucumbers. Well! Sometimes that's the only thing around.

Heidi also spoke to the magazine about her show. When asked how real "The Hills is, she said, "The Hills is a show that’s 22 minutes long about seven people’s lives. It’s edited for drama, and there are editors and story lines. If someone walks in front of the camera, we have to redo the shot. So it’s not exactly how things always are. It’s not like The Truman Show. They’re not with us all the time, although I wish they were, because it would be a way crazier show. Let’s see how Lauren would look then!"

And what does she think of Lauren? "She’s changed. Some people go more Hollywood than others. We’re from different backgrounds. She grew up in that spoiled Laguna world, and I grew up with humble beginnings. She’s very controlling. She was crazy about how much time I spent with Spencer, and I had to see her every day. I’ve heard from other people that she’s a big diva now. “Insiders” say."

Just STFU already! Go to the damn plastic surgeon again and have him sew your mouth shut permanently. Put it on my tab.