Jennifer Hudson

JHud is engaged to Punk from "I Love New York," because her vagina just can't say no. When I first heard the news, I figured Punk must have a 12-inch dick and he tied the engagement ring to it when he asked her to marry him. That's the only way I would have said yes to a dude who has probably had New York's nutsack in his mouth. See a big dick and the word "YES" just comes pouring out.

Well, that's not how it happened. JHud said: "I had no clue at all... We went to the beach during the day and he blindfolded me... and he gave me a purple shovel, because purple's my favourite colour... and I had to dig. I ended up digging through all this sand. When I found it, it was like a bunch of beautiful cards... one related to the other, and the last one said, 'Look around, take the moment in, turn around and I have a gift for you."

Does anybody see the irony in this? She's basically digging her own fucking grave. That's a sign right there. If that bitch handed me a shovel and told me to dig, I would've dug that shit right into his ass. And you know he paid for that ring with her AMEX.

Here's JHud looking like she escaped from the methadone clinic in NYC last night.

Jennifer Hudson is engaged to Punk from "I Love New York." The girl is an Oscar winner and she's going to marry a dude who probably had a couple of sword fights with New York. I mean, the dude most likely tossed New York's salad and licked on her nuts! NO!

JHud's rep told People: "I can confirm that Jennifer got engaged to her boyfriend David on Friday night in L.A."

The two have been dating for less than a year. They have been seen together a few times, but have pretty much kept their shit on the down low. I don't blame JHud. Why the fuck would you want to be seen with one of New York's leftovers?!

JHud is either knocked up or she's extremely dickmatized. I don't care how good the dick is. He's had his tongue down New York's masculine throat! That's a deal breaker.

Seriously. Good dick is both a curse and a blessing. It will make you see the world like a beautiful fairytale wonderland, but it will also make you fuck up your life by marrying a reality show douche!

And what happened to the dude JHud was with for so long? The dude she fell in love with before "American Idol"? JHud needs to wake up from this "good dick fog" and see the light!

It looks like somebody has been using Mimi's body double. Or maybe Mimi just let Jennifer Hudson borrow her 10-man Photoshopping team?

JHud's waist looks like it's about to put up a white flag and call "mercy." It's obviously in major trauma from the 10 pairs of Spanx, 3 girdles and 25 layers of Saran-Wrap holding it down. I'm sure a couple of gay stylists were severely injured when they removed that belt from her waist.

Source: ONTD

Thanks Edgardo

That was a stupid question. We know who did it! B-E-Y-O-N-C-E!!! She totally told Solange that everyone is wearing their wigs backwards. Everyone. I mean, I think the tag is sticking out in the front. And the dress and bag were definitely DIY projects using items from the local Salvation Army. Bitch is a walking Project Runway challenge. Damn, Beyonce! She got Solange again!

Solange wore this sad, sad ensemble to the BET Awards last night. Speaking of wigs that should've been left at home, that thing sitting on Lil Kim's head is illegal.

Here's more sexy messes from last night including Terry Howard who looked baby wipe fresh and Ashanti with a Cinnabon sitting in her hair.

Sarah Jessica Parker, CHECK! Kim Cattrall, CHECK! Kirsten Davis, CHECK! Jennifer Hudson, CHECK! Cynthia Nixon, CHECK! Rojo Caliente..... Rojo Caliente? Yup. No fucking Rojo Caliente aka Christina Marinoni aka Cynthia Nixon's hot ginge girlfriend! Can you believe this shit?

I almost didn't post any of these pictures, because what's the point? The only person I care about did not show her hot ass! The organizers of the "Sex and the City" premiere in NYC last night should have shut this shit down. It ain't a party without Rojo Caliente!

Maybe she's hiding under My Little Pony's space blanket dress? She got scared when she saw all these old hags together in one place. I don't blame her.

Anyway, here's all these old hookers in fugly dresses at the SATC NYC premiere last night. They all look like shit. Well, except for Cynthia. She looks beautiful, because she has the love of Rojo Caliente.