Nicole Richie
Sunday, September 23rd 2007
Surreal
Soo....odd. Don't get me wrong this is the best this chick has ever looked, but it's just so strange. I wouldn't be surprised if one day she said "April Fool's! This was all a prank!" It doesn't feel right.
It was also nice of Joel Madden to keep his shirt on when going into the water. He's thinking of us and I thank him for that.
Here's Joel and Nicole relaxing in Hawaii from their stressful lives (eye roll).
Images: Nicole Fan
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Saturday, September 22nd 2007
The Life
Knocked up Nicole Richie is currently resting and relaxing in Hawaii with Joel Madden. Resting and relaxing from what I'm not sure, but she's doing it.
She doesn't look knocked up to me. She looks like she just had a huge meal at Applebees and not from the Weight Watchers menu either. Mmm....Applebees.....mmm...triple chocolate meltdown....
Anyway! Rest up Nicole! Yeah, rest up from resting up!
Wednesday, September 19th 2007
Nicole's Guardian Angel(ina)
This is too hilarious to be true, but Now Magazine is reporting Angelina Jolie has taken time out of her busy schedule to become Nicole Richie's angel.
A source said, : "Angelina was especially concerned about the effects Nicole's years of partying could have on the baby.
"And knowing that Nicole has so much hanging over her, including a stressful court-ordered probation after her conviction for driving under the influence, Angelina felt she could use some help from another young mom."
Nicole told a friend: 'Angelina is like a surrogate mother – albeit a beautiful one who's nearer my age. But she has so much experience as a mom. She's my guardian angel – and so is Brad."
I loooove that quote from Nicole to her friend. Nicole doesn't talk like that. She doesn't even know what "albeit" means!
And like Angelina gives a fuck! She has no idea who Nicole Richie is.
Sunday, September 16th 2007
That's My Fun Day
It's Sunday which means everyone's at church, so gossip is slow. This is why I bring you a knocked up Nicole Richie in heels doing her job yesterday. That job being shopping and getting her picture taken while shopping.
Nicole also made a stop off at In 'N Out before heading home. Damn, I need some In 'N Out so damn bad it hurts. I'm tempted to ask someone to FedEx me that shit. Yes, it will be sort of old and moldy, but I'd still eat it. If you wash it down with Vodka it kills the germs. Yes, a doctor told me this!
Friday, September 14th 2007
Pregnant Women And Cats?
I was reading this article in Star Magazine about how Nicole Richie needs to get rid of her cat, because she can't stand being around it. It's the same cat that fell from a 10th floor balcony and survived.
Well, her friend said, "She loves her cat but says she can't stand to be around it right now. She wants it back after she gives birth."
I found this a little queer so I did a little research and found out about something called Toxoplasmosis . I guess kitten shit and knocked up ladies don't go well together.
Toxoplasmosis is a disease caused by a microscopic protozoan called Toxoplasma gondii. This is an intestinal parasite that infects cats or other mammals that eat small animals, birds, or other anything that carry Toxoplasma cysts. Once consumed, these cysts develop into eggs inside the intestine. These eggs are then shed in feces, where they develop further. If these infect pregnant women, they can affect the fetus and cause birth defects. The risk to the baby increases the later in the pregnancy the new infection is acquired.
You learn something new every day!
Here I thought that Nicole's hormones were making her jealous of other pussy! And she's totally not going to get her pussy back when she gives birth. She'll just buy a new one. That's how those Hollywood twats do it.
Image: Splash
Friday, September 7th 2007
Posing Pregnant
Nicole Richie showed off her baby bump or whatever that is at last night's Fashion Rocks. She borrowed one of Mrs. Roper's old ones and made sure to pose sideways, so that photogs could catch her with child. It's just so weird seeing this chick holding a litter. It just doesn't seem right. It seems illegal. She looks like either a little girl with baby or an old ass memaw with baby.
Sunday, August 26th 2007
Mr. Magoo Is With Child!
It's still a little weird seeing Nicole Richie knocked up. It almost just looks like skinny fat. It's nice to see a little bit of breastes popping out of her though. Nicole rolled over, put on her nightgown, covered her face in a pair of sunglasses and headed out for lunch yesterday at vegan restaurant Real Food Daily in Los Angeles.
In other Richie news, her attorney said that Nicole was "pleasantly surprised" to be released from jail after only 82 minutes.
"Nicole was aware that most people with sentences similar to hers are booked and released in a matter of hours and she was hoping to be treated like everyone else.
"Nevertheless, she was prepared to serve her entire four-day sentence had the Sheriff's Department required her to do so."
Yeah, weren't we all.
Thursday, August 23rd 2007
Nicole Richie Goes To Jail...AND SHE'S OUT!
The Insider is reporting that Nicole Richie has checked herself into Paris Hilton's old haunt Lynwood Correctional Facility to begin serving her 4-day sentence. She already has a 1-day credit for the 6-hours she served when she was arrested.
Nicole was busted for driving under the influence last December. Homegirl was driving on the wrong side of the highway. She admitted to smoking weed and taking Vicodin for "cramps."
Nicole is currently knocked up with Joel Madden's baby! What a piece of trash! Knocked up in the big house!
She'll be out by Friday afternoon. TRUST!
The picture above is Nicole leaving lunch yesterday.
UPDATE - FUCK! I was way off. TMZ is reporting that bitch is out! Nicole checked in at 3:15pm and was out by 4:37pm. TIME SERVED! That's shorter than a movie! 82 minutes total! She apparently sat in a cell for a whole 35 minutes.
The County Sheriff issued this statement:
On August 23 2007, at 3:15 PM Miss Nicole Camille Richie reported to CRDF and surrendered herself following a July 27 arrest, she was sentenced to serve 96 hours in County Jail. Miss Richie was accompanied by her attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley and her boyfriend Joel Madden. Miss Richie was booked and processed into the jail system. Miss Richie was cooperative during the process. Based on her sentence and federal court guidelines, Miss Richie was released at 4:37 PM today.
HAHAH. First Blohan gets one day of jail and then Nicole serves not even 2 hours. You know Paris is punching all her dogs in anger!
I also just added her lovely mugshot! Not bad, you can tell in the picture bitch knows she's about to walk any minute. I can see it in her eyes, "I'm outta here in a quick minute, dumb sluts!"
Saturday, August 18th 2007
It's A Nice Day For A Douche Wedding
Yes I'm alive you dumb whores! Sorry I didn't post much yesterday afternoon and I'm getting a late start now. I'm in the process of moving, because I was evicted for being a piece of trash.
Anyway, in case you give a hell. Sources told TMZ that Joel Madden and Nicole Richie are engaged. He apparently told people at the Hot 99.5 concert in DC last night. Yeah, shocking news. They probably don't want Baby Thumbelina to be a bastard. I give that whole marriage 1 year, IF THAT!
P.S. - Have you ever noticed in TMZ comments that someone there is OBSESSED with Amy Sedaris. Like CRAZY obsessed.
Friday, August 17th 2007
Nicole Richie Needs To Relax
Joel Madden DJed an event at Pourhouse in NYC the other night and reportedly had turn down offers to pose with female fans due to strict orders from his knocked up twinkie, Nicole Richie.
One girl told Page Six , "He said he couldn't, as Nicole gave him strict orders not to take pictures with other celebrities or girls for rumor purposes."
PLEASE! We know Nicole is the only bitch dumb enough to want that. Even Horsefaced Duff was smart enough not to give him the vagina!
Joel told Regis yesterday morning that he was going to propose to Nicole soon. When Regis asked about it, Joel responded, "I was hoping it would be a surprise, but now ..."
Here's Nicole and Joel in NYC last night. Thrilling. They are also rumored to be apartment hunting around here. Ugh. Stay in L.A. douchebags!
Image: Splash
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