Charlize Theron

Charlize Theron has quit the movie The Tourist for whatever reason, and now St. Angie is in talks to take her place. Sam Worthington, the hot piece from Terminator: Salvation, has already signed on to play the dude lead.

The Tourist is an American remake of the French movie about some tourist-type who goes undercover to trap her ex-lovah who might be some kind of criminal mastermind. Blah. Blah. Blah.

Yes, so this is another movie that will be 90-minutes of St. Angie shooting, puckering, shooting, puckering, shooting, puckering, etc.. etc... I'm sure they'll throw in a scene of St. Angie getting out of the tub while throwing a side-eye. St. Angie puts the "ill" in thriller.

If you can't wait for this shit to come out, just pop in Wanted into your DVD player, put it on "French Dubs," and there you go! The same damn thing.

Salma Hayek, her miracle chichis and François-Henri Pinault all got married for a second time over the weekend in Venice. The first time Salma married money bags it was one of those fast weddings at city hall in Paris, so Francois didn't really get a chance to show everyone how really fucking rich he is. That's what the second wedding was for.

This shit looks like it was too fancy for my ass. I would've been asking for mini-bagel-pizzas and sparking Andre. Damn. I mean, they were even wearing masks. Rich people are so weird. I bet they had butt wipers wearing tuxedos in every bathroom stall and drank champagne out of crystal flutes filled with diamonds. I can't hate, because Salma that money, so she can buy the Isle of Lesbos and freely frolic on the beaches with her down-low partner in pussy Penny Cruz. Speaking of, you know Penny had to bite on a dildo when the preacher asked if anybody objected to this shit!

Here's all the fancies leaving or arriving at the Queen Chichis wedding. Guests included Anna Wintour, Penny Cruz, Javier Bardem, Gael Garcia Bernal, Lily Cole, Ashley Judd, Charlize Theron, Zhang Ziyi and Bono. When Salma's chichis fully cover from this party, she better do something about the swine flu. The cure is in her miracle chichis.

Nicole Kidman will play the world's first post-op tranny who is married to Charlize Theron in old timey Copenhagen. File this under: Greedy bitches want another Oscar!

The Hollywood Reporter says that Nicky will produce and act in "The Danish Girl," based on a true story about two married Danish artists who gained international attention in the 1930s after the dude (Nicky) gets the world's first sex change.

It all started in the 1920s when Greta Wegener (Charlize) asked her husband Einar to stand in for a chick model she was supposed to paint. The portraits became the fucking shit in Denmark, so Greta asked her husband to keep up the charade. This leads to Einar deciding that he wants a vagina instead of a peen, so he gets it chopped off. This of course causes drama in their marriage.

Anand Tucker, who directed "Shopgirl," will direct this tranny mess. Pre-production is going on right now, but it's not known when shooting will start.

This shit is like a reversal of "Victor/Victoria" with the cheery singing and dancing numbers getting replaced with raw emotion and a sullen musical score.

I hope they're going to throw in a scene early on where Einar gets some fucking plastic shit injected into his face. That will explain why his mug doesn't move.

And riddle me this, can't they get a fucking man to do this shit?! Or better yet, Tilda Swinton! That hot piece was born to play this role! They are going to ruin a perfectly hot tranny story by making Nicole the lead. Not only does the bitch kill her own facial expressions, but she kills movies too!

Source

Yes, that picture is fucking old. It's when Tommy Girl wasn't a creepy butt plug and Charlize Theron was poor. Well, poorer than she is now.

Charlize Theron is about to break my no-heart by agreeing to star opposite John Travolta's scissor sister in a movie called "The Tourist." It's a remake of the 2005 French film. Coming Soon reports that Charlize is in talks to play an "Interpol agent who uses an American tourist in an attempt to flush out an elusive criminal with whom she once had an affair."

I don't know why, but I've always had a strange love for Charlize. Dumb whores always call me on it. Some think she's like a dry potato pancake, but I can't help it. Ever since she slow-danced with Alien Head Ricci to Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" in "Monster," I've been hooked. I've seen all her shit shows in the theaters including "Hancock" and "Aeon Flux."

This is why I'm starting to weep on the inside at the thought of Charlize kissing Tommy's pasty pony elf mouth. He's going to need a booster seat to film the sex scenes.

Those are the first three words that pop into Tommy Girl's head every morning before he has his first cup of piping hot Crystal Light. It gets him through the day.

So...... Some hot bitch in London had the right idea by leaving only the COCK up in the title of Will Smith's new movie. The London Paper reports that the fun was quickly killed and all the letters were taken down. Boring. I'm sure they would sell more tickets if they kept it up.

Below is Willy trying to "canoodle" with Charlize Theron at the London premiere last night. We get it, Will. You're such a heterosexual. Actually, this is how it looks when a raging homo gets on his fruit fly after too many flirtinis.

The minute Tommy Girl sees this picture of Will Smith blowing him a kiss at the "HanCOCK"premiere in Paris last night, he's going to pull down his Bugle Boy khakis and press his raisin hole up to the computer screen and rub until there's no tomorrow. And that's what Will wants since Tommy Girl couldn't make his big premiere.

Charlize Theron is desperately trying not to breathe because Big Willy's ball sweat breath is clogging up her nostrils. I'm expecting the Orbitz lady to pop in and say, "Have a dirty mouth? Clean it up!"

Here's more of Big Willy, Charlize and Jason Bateman with his wifey last night.

Don't say Charlize Theron's beauty is overrated. Don't say it! Don't! I said, don't say it!

Who cares if her dress is one of Charo's old ones or if her shoes were bought from a 90-year-old's estate sale. The woman is magic! She's the only female I would let touch my no-no hole. That private place is only meant for...for....well...any dude with a working dick. A working dick and a pulse! I'm not into that dead sex shit.

Here's Charlize showing these dumb tramps how it's done at the Christian Dior Cruise collection in NYC yesterday.

Another blonde was honored by Harvard this week. A hotter blonde I should say. Charlize Theron was named "Woman of the Year" by Hasty Pudding Theatricals. She was given a parade and a golden pot trophy! The words "golden pot" probably got her to Cambridge. She had her bong ready.

She said, "I hope you all know I’m a high school dropout. I just thought I’d be clean with you guys. I went to school in Africa but I’m really, really honored to be here." Charlize has plans for her golden trophy, "I’m going to make a stew, then I’m going to eat it." She's going to try and smoke something out of it. That's what she's going to do.

Christopher Walken has been named "Man of the Year" and he'll receive his parade and trophy on February 15th.

Charlize forever! I hope she ran into Paris Hilton and slapped that skank. There's only room for one Hollywood blonde on campus.

Wenn

Charlize Theron is so hot that I would consider eating her coochie cat with hot sauce. Even someone as perfect as Charlize, fucks up now and again. I know, it's hard to believe.

In a recent interview, Charlize talked about a 2006 backpacking trip. Charlize kept talking about how much she "adored Turkey and its capital, Budapest." Err...Budapest is in Hungary.

Charlize said, "We went to Turkey. When we got over there, we rented a car and we drove all the way to Budapest. By the time we got to Budapest it was like the Cannes Film Festival, I'd never seen anything like it." She was actually at the Istanbul Film Festival. She continued to talk about how much she loved the Turkish carpets in "Budapest."

Charlize, please cut down your tokes before interviews. It's definitely the weed talking.

Source: Daily Mail