Brittany Murphy

Simon Monjack's name was included in Brittany Murphy's will, but only to point out that she isn't leaving him a pen to shit in! But don't cry into your donuts for Simon, he tells TMZ that he asked Brittany to write in her will: "I am married to Simon Monjack who I have intentionally left out of this will."

After Brittany and Simon got married, she drafted up a will and trust, leaving everything to her mother Sharon including her home in the Hollywood Hills. TMZ also reports that Sharon has put the house on the market for $7.2 million. Simon says that once the house is sold, he will move to New York WITH Sharon......

Did all of us suddenly board the Orient Express bound for Agatha Christie-ville?! When we turn the page, are we going to read that Sharon and Simon are now living on a house on Long Island together where he spends his days sunbathing in a Speedo by the pool while she paints still lifes in the greenhouse? "Something in the milk ain't clean" indeed.

In other news from the Sasquatch Gazette, Simon says that he's fasting right now so he can fit into his tuxedo and walk the red carpet at the Oscars on Sunday. Simon tells E!, "I have been honored by an invitation to the Academy Awards, which I am very grateful for. As far as the plan goes, I will fast for the next seven days in order to fit into my tux and polish up the patent leather shoes and then, in my wife's honor, walk the infamous red carpet."

My side-eye is staying to the side.

Nearly 6 weeks after her death, the L.A. County Coroner has released Brittany Murphy's cause of death. TMZ says that the Coroner issued a statement that said Brittany died of community acquired pneumonia, iron deficiency anemia, and multiple drug intoxication. The Coroner also said that it was an accident.

The full autopsy report will be released in a couple of weeks.

Since Nurse Jackie is not here to tell me what any of this means, I went off to the Wikipedia in search of answers. According to them, this is what community acquired pneumonia is: "a disease in which individuals who have not recently been hospitalized develop an infection of the lungs (pneumonia). CAP is a common illness and can affect people of all ages. CAP often causes problems like difficulty in breathing, fever, chest pains, and a cough. CAP occurs because the areas of the lung which absorb oxygen (alveoli) from the atmosphere become filled with fluid and cannot work effectively."

TMZ added that a source involved in Brittany's autopsy said that her death could have been prevented if she went to the hospital in time. Instead of receiving the proper treatment at a hospital, Brittany self-medicated with over-the-counter meds, cough syrup and medication for cramps. Brittany already had the sicks in a major way, but the meds took her over the edge. So basically, iron pills and a hospital stay would've saved her life. Sads.

And I guess Simon Monjack will have to start singing a new song since his wrongful death lawsuit against Warner Bros. isn't going to go anywhere.

Brittany Murphy's husband Simon Monjack gave a long interview to The Daily Beast where he said he is days away from filing a lawsuit against Warner Bros. for contributing to his wife's death. Simon says that Brittany suffered massive amounts of stress after the frog fired her from the sequel to Happy Feet. Simon believes that all the stress led to her having a heart attack. Simon wants to see the frog (sans top hat) in court.

The L.A. County Coroner still hasn't released a cause of death, but that's not stopping Simon. Simon thinks that Warner Bros. only fired Brittany after they read unconfirmed rumors about her behavior on a movie in Puerto Rico, “Warner Brothers relied on conjecture and hearsay about the Puerto Rico film for why they canceled Brittany’s role in Happy Feet. You’re disposable as an actress or actor.”

In past interviews, Simon swore that Brittany never abused illegal or prescription drugs. Simon said that most of the medications found in the house at the time of her death belonged to him.

Simon also denies that he's a gold digging bear who has a history of being a con man. Er. Somebody needs to tell Simon that this lawsuit against Warner Bros. really isn't helping his cause.

Brittany Murphy's husband spoke for the first time yesterday to Access Hollywood about his wife's health at the time of her death. Simon has decided to do some more talking, this time to People Magazine. People said that Simon got weepy throughout the interview, but really wanted to give his side of the rumors floating around there.

On the rumor that Brittany suffered from anorexia:
"These rumors that she was anorexic? It's crazy – she was slim, but that was her natural physique. She tried to gain weight but had one of those metabolisms – a high metabolism – but enjoyed food as much as anyone. I wish I could show all the receipts from the take out restaurants."

On not wanting an autopsy on Brittany's body:
"My initial reaction to the autopsy was – they're going to cut her open – I couldn't bear it. That would break her mother, but we realized we needed to know. I look forward to getting the results."

On the heart murmur she suffered from and what kind of meds she was taking:
"She was on herbal remedies that wouldn't speed up her heart. There was nothing here that could endanger her; there was prescription medication in the house for her female time and some cough syrup. That was it."

On if Brittany died from any kind of overdose:
"I can get rid of that one right now."

On people saying he's a Sleeeeeeze McSleezester:
"So many people have their views of us, but they never met us or sat down with us. I'm not perfect, but I don't think anyone is … I am feeling beyond devastated. I was in love with Brittany and Brittany with me."

TMZ posted a Dr. Murray-approved list of prescription meds (including Klonopin, Vicoprofen and Topamax) that their sources claim was found on Brittany's nightstand. The source said that some of the meds were in Brittany's name, while others were in her mother's and husband's names. So I'm not sure what to think when reading that Simon says Brittany was only taking stuff you find at Whole Foods. Hm. Maybe I shouldn't think at all, and go eat my fifth chocolate covered candy cane of the day instead. Yeah, I'll do that.

Simon Monjack, Brittany Murphy's husband of over 2 years, spoke to Access Hollywood yesterday to talk briefly about her death and to try to clear up some rumors going around. Simon says jump up and down. Simon says walk two steps. Sorry, it was too easy and I'm an 8-year-old.

Anyway, Simon says that his world has "been destroyed" by the death of his wife. Simon also thanked Brittany's ex-boyfriend Ashton Kutcher for this message he left on Twitter:

“2day the world lost a little piece of sunshine. My deepest condolences go out 2 Brittany’s family, her husband, & her amazing mother Sharon. see you on the other side kid.”

According to Simon, Brittany was a little sick in the days leading up to her death, but contrary to reports she wasn't suffering from "flu-like symptoms." He said, “She had laryngitis. She had been tired at the end of the year. She had made a couple movies.”

Access Hollywood also asked Simon about hos saying he wasn't a good influence on Brittany, because of his known conman ways. Simon's response was, “I don’t know why anyone would think that. She found love. We found love. Brittany didn’t get to where Brittany was with anyone controlling her… Brittany was Brittany.”

Finally, TMZ has a few new reports since yesterday. They claim that in Brittany's will she left everything to her mother including her house (which is only in her name). The will was signed before she got married to Simon.

TMZ also reports that several kinds (specifically 10) of prescription meds were found in Brittany's room. The autopsy on her body is done, but it will take a few days for the Toxicology reports to come back. So take a seat in the waiting room, grab a Highlights, etc.. etc..

Ed Winter, LA County's Assistant Chief Coroner, told the media last night that at first glance they believe Brittany Murphy died of "natural causes." He explained that they didn't suspect foul play because there were no signs of trauma or other injuries on her body.

They will perform an autopsy either today or tomorrow, even though Brittany's husband Simon Monjack reportedly doesn't want one. This has made some hos deliver Simon a "Jessica Fletcher" side-eye, because he doesn't exactly have a pristine record. But maybe he doesn't want his wife's private business on the front page of the Post. Or maybe he doesn't want an autopsy for religious reasons. Who knows, but Toxicology tests will be performed.

Sources also tell TMZ that Brittany was suffering from flu-like symptoms at the time of her death. The source also claims that no illegal drugs were found in the house, but there were "a lot" of prescription meds around.

Now I know why my abuelita thinks public displays of affection are sucio and should be illegal. Hand me a petition, and I'll sign it in blood that came pouring out of my eye holes when I first saw these pictures of Brittany Murphy kissing on her screenwriter/conman husband Simon Monjack at LAX today.

Aw. I shouldn't dry heave all over their love. They look happy (?). I mean, Simon is kissing on Brittany like she's a Twinkie Casserole. And she's kissing him back like he's a Collagen needle, so that's all that matters.

However, that poor dog is about to stage her own death.

TMZ reports that the cops were called to Brittany Murphy's Hollywood house at 2:30 this morning after neighbors say she was screaming on her balcony about hearing gun shots in her yard. When officers strolled up, Brittany continued to freak out about the supposed shoot out. After conducting a short investigation (aka using their common sense for two seconds), the police figured out that the noise was coming from an angry generator.

And upon further further inspection, they declared the generator NOT GUILTY, because the noise was actually Brittany Murphy's weather balloon lips popping again. Don't worry though, the cops drove her to the nearest gas station and attached her lips to an air pump. So Britt is back to normal.

You know, I shouldn't make fun of this crazy since I have been known to jump in bushes after hearing a car's engine backfire. You never know when a Mop Head, or a Wonky, or a Hagel is coming after your ass.

She's not Tai from "Clueless" anymore. Page Six reports that Brittany Murphy has become a major diva bitch on the set of her new movie and has everyone frustrated. Brittany is currently shooting "Across the Hall" and has been making outrageous demands.

A source said, "She's extremely difficult. When she gets to the set, it comes to a grinding halt. She's so hot and cold, you never know."

The source also said Brit makes assistants remove all the crusts off her diagonally cut peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. "She needs one every hour. It's painstaking - her assistant takes about a half an hour making each one." Her assistant needs to invest in a jar of Smucker's Goober.

Restylane is a hell of a drug. In Brit's defense, diagonally cut sandwiches with the crusts removed is probably the only thing she can fit in her mouth. It takes the assistant 30 minutes to make one, but it probably takes Brit an hour to eat it. She probably has to get her head in the right position and then her assistant kicks the sandwich in. It's not Brit's fault! Blame the Restylane!

It's time to Brittany Murphy to divorce that fug husband of hers. Desperate times call for desperate measures. That man is clearly sucking the cute out of her. What kind of husband won't tell his wife, "Bitch, you have pussy lips!" Brittany needs to hear this. She also needed to be told that her garage sale ensemble isn't cute. Those shoes were definitely fished out of a Salvation Army bin somewhere.

I still love her and if she said to me, "Cher, you're a virgin who can't drive" I would probably drop dead on the spot.

Here's Brit with beast husband at a fashion week event yesterday. Yeah, fashion week.

Wenn, Splashnewsonline.com