White Oprah
Thursday, January 3rd 2008
White Oprah Likes To Tell Jokes
Lindsay Lohan boinked that Riley Giles dude for a quick second and right after they broke up he sold his story to The News of the World. UsWeekly claims they paid his ass almost $120,000 to kiss and tell. Well, apparently White Oprah didn't appreciate it and called up Riley's mommy right away to let her know what's what.
A source said, “Dina insulted her parenting." A friend of White Oprah's confirms she called Riley's mom.
Insulted her parenting? I doubt it. She probably called up asking for a piece of the pie and to give him advice on how to milk it even more! I'm sure White Oprah also offered to be Riley's manager, so she could make more cash. White Oprah doesn't give a fuck about parenting skills. She loves the dollar too much.
White Oprah and Lynne Spears should team up to teach a class at the Learning Annex, How To Pimp Out Your Kid In 10 Steps!
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Sunday, November 25th 2007
Lindsay Bonds With Her Family
Lindsay is making the family rounds this holiday weekend by attending her brothers basketball game yesterday with White Oprah and boyfriend thing Riley Giles in tow. What the hell, she's still with this guy? You think she would have downgraded by now.
She was also seen meeting up with her dad and his girlfriend after the game at a drug store. Drug store huh. Classy.
Wednesday, November 21st 2007
Throwing Daggers
Come on Lindsay. Give us a little smile. You've been reunited with your younger sister, White Oprah! Look happy.
Lindsay Lohan is back in NYC for the Thanksgiving holiday with her family. Imagine that Thanksgiving? White Oprah and Michael Lohan probably spend most of the time fighting for the spotlight.
Here's Linds having dinner with W.O. and her boyfriend, Riley Giles, in NYC. Ugh, when is that Riley person going to go away? He should be bagging groceries at Ralph's. The name alone is completely annoying. Riley Giles? That sounds like a cheap ass men's label they carry at Sears.
Monday, November 19th 2007
Daddy Lohan Gives Back
But you better believe he got something in return, PRESS!
Daddy Lohan and his girlfriend, Eren, served Thanksgiving today at the NYC Rescue Mission.
Since it's getting cold, I'm glad Michael has traded his mock turtleneck in for a real one. That shit was really bothering me. His girlfriend looks brainwashed. Cute, but brainwashed. You'd have to be to suck that dick!
Is Daddy yelling at someone in the last thumbnail? Don't yell at people on Thanksgiving! Damn, the pilgrims would not have approved.
Daughter to father! Daughter to father!
Friday, November 16th 2007
13 Isn't What It Used To Be
UsWeekly posted a side-by-side of Lindsay Lohan when she was 13 and her sister, Ali Lohan, who is 13 now. Yup, 13 has changed a lot. We know this. Nowadays 13-year-olds are having babies and bragging about it on Maury.
However, Lindsay jumped from 16 to like 45 overnight.
White Oprah said that Ali and Lindsay are a lot alike. She told UsWeekly, “My daughters have an interest in the arts and I support them.”
The arts?! The art of being an orangehobagskankslutcokehead.
Tuesday, November 6th 2007
Don't Get Too Comfortable
Lindsay Lohan's latest boy toy, Riley Giles, has taken to his MySpace yet again. This time he's badmouthing White Oprah for asking Riley and Lindsay to appear on her reality show.
Riley wrote:
"ADVICE OF THE WEEK: if your a mom, with 4 kids, the best thing u can do for them right now is have a reality show. WE. DO. NOT. WANT. she had the nerve to ask us to be on. no thanks!"
Riley went on to say, "Our place in ny is getting decked out, cant wait to move.. should be mid-december."
"OUR?" Bitch is getting quite comfortable isn't he? Riley is just like White Oprah. Two peas in a trash can. White Oprah releases a statement for just about everything and now Riley's doing the same thing, but via his MySpace. Lindsay is a trash magnet.
Source: OK! Magazine
Friday, October 26th 2007
The TV Event Of The Century Is Coming Soon!
White Oprah will start shooting her reality show for E! on October 30th reports People . The show will follow White Oprah as she bullshits her way through life. W.O. will also be executive producer. Ali and Lindsay are expected to make cameos from time to time, but White Oprah is the star and nobody's taking that away from her!
Listen to the crap she said, "There are so many misconceptions about me and my family. I’m setting the record straight. It’s about empowering women to be successful single mothers. About being in the limelight without compromising motherhood. It’s about what I do, how you can be successful, and be a single mom and fulfilling your kids’ dreams. Working is my sole source of income.”
This dumb bitch! I'm telling you! Here statements are legendary, but too bad they are written by her ass lips! She has no idea what the hell she's talking about.
"It won’t just be following my family around like other shows. It’ll show me cultivating careers, going to soccer practice. I’m a big supporter of domestic violence charities, so they’ll show that. Then they’ll show [”my son”] Cody at soccer practice. Ali going to school and in the studio. It’ll encompass everything. You’ll see me having five business meetings in the city."
Business meetings? Is that what they call picking up drugs nowadays. This woman is a maniac and that's why I can't wait for this show. Role model to working women everywhere?! Don't you actually have to work in order to be a role model to working women?
Wednesday, October 10th 2007
What's That I Hear? It's White Oprah Losing Her Shit!
Lindsay Lohan told OK! Magazine that she's cutting out the trash including Samantha Ronson and Britney Spears. Sources told OK! that Lindsay isn't stopping there. She's apparently cut her mother out too!
A source said, “Lindsay fired Dina as her manager. She is livid about all this press her mom is doing on this NYC apartment that she’ll never even live in; Dina even gave Access Hollywood a tour of the apartment two nights ago.”
When asked for a comment White Oprah responded with, "AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ok...no, but you know the statement of the century is coming. The denials, the tears through the words, I can read it all now.
The source said that White Oprah may lose her reality show with E! now, because she promised them Lindsay would co-star with her. “They tolerate her simply to get to Lindsay – the REAL star in the family. When Lindsay found out about the show, she went mad at her mother. She is upset her mom would use her name and sign off on paperwork involving her career without even consulting her. The two haven’t even spoken in weeks except to fight.”
Seriously what is White Oprah going to do without Lindsay's fame and drug connections? I'm thinking she's going to release her own sex tape. Hey, coke isn't cheap nowadays.
UPDATE: Lo's rep told TMZ that this shit is false and that White Oprah is still Lindsay's manager and mother. I'm going to choose to not believe this denial. My soul needs it. Just for right now!
Image: Planet Hiltron
Thanks Julie
Monday, September 10th 2007
It Took Her Long Enough!
Last week Jodie Foster spoke out about Lindsay Lohan and basically blamed White Oprah.
Jodie said, "Can I just ask, where is her mother? I mean, really, where is her mother?"
"When I was their age, there were no big 18-year-old stars... Now, we want the 17-year-olds so we can bleed them for all they're worth and squeeze as much money as we possibly can out of them - and then their career will be over in something like three years."
And of course White Oprah has to respond, because that's what she does for a living. She probably puts "Responder" as her "occupation" on her tax returns.
W.O. told 24/Sizzler , “It really saddens me that a mom would comment on another mom without ever meeting me!”
“Ironically Lindsay’s talent was compared to Jodie Foster’s as a little girl! I don’t know what Jodie dealt with as a young Hollywood actress but I do know if it weren’t for her mother she would not be a successful actress today! I’m sure her mother made many sacrifices for her to be successful.”
“All we want as parents is to cultivate our children’s dreams ,whatever field they choose. She has no idea who we are and what we have dealt with! If she has a question to ask me, don’t ridicule me publicly! She should know how the press twists the truth! Don’t judge without facts!”
The thing is White Oprah really sounds like a good mother through her statements and shit. If only her statements raised Lindsay, she'd probably be in a better place and not in rehab. You're right, she didn't write that shit. Her dealer probably did.
Friday, September 7th 2007
White Oprah Is Toooo Much!
Yesterday Michael Lohan and Lindsay Lohan had their beloved reunion at her rehab facility in Utah. Of course, White Oprah had to issue a statement about it. Of course. She told the 24/Sizzler :
“I really wanted her to have closure a really long time ago, so she could come to terms with the abusive behavior that myself and my children [Lindsay, Michael Jr., Dakota and Ali] endured when they were younger.”
She’s doing well. I’m so proud of her. She’s grown up. I’m petrified of the paparazzi. I’m afraid it’s going to be a frenzy when she’s out. I pray that it all works out well.”
Is she for real! She's going to call those paps herself and show up in a white mink and limo, mugging for the cameras.
Michael however wouldn't really comment on the reunion. He only said, "I can't comment on my relationship with my daughter," he said. "But [the reunion] was amazing."
He's holding out for a real deal, I'm sure.
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