Phoebe Price

It's okay if you suddenly have the urge to make love to bowl of egg drop soup. Don't fight it, go with it!

International supermodel and Cannes' sweetheart, Phoebe Price, made mortals collapse when she hit the red carpet with her chicken dumpling peeping out. Seriously, every bitch on the carpet hiked up their dresses and took the bus home! They knew they could never make loins burst the way Chicken Cutlets can. A bird even accidentally crashed into her head, because it was so transfixed with her graceful glamour. It's game over when the freckled goddess arrives. Admit it, you are totally busting Cream O' Chicken soup over this.

Remember a while ago when international supermodel and fashion icon Phoebe Price had it out with that chicken cutlet hater on the streets of Beverly Hills? PP threatened to shoot that ho if she came near her again! Well, the paps call the bitch the "Queen of the Scene," because she's known for acting the fool on the streets. Bitch might be homeless, but PP claims she's got money pouring out of her ass, because she has the same sunglasses as her. HA.

Yesterday, the Queen of the Scene was back at it! But this time she was there to save the day instead of beating down a cutlet. For some reason, the pappies surrounded American Idol loser Katharine McPhee and that crazy bitch swooped in to save her like a cracked out, busted down superhero. She needs to be wearing a bed sheet as a cape! The Queen of the Scene is like the Shadow Hare of Los Angeles. Supercrackie!

Who ordered two chicken fried steaks with a side of cutlets and giblets? If you want some gravy, just ask and Phoebe Price will squeeeeze.

It looks like Chicken Cutlets has almost recovered from her horrifying accident that happened over a week ago. You can't keep a good chickenhead down for too long! Yes, one of her wings is in a brace, but that didn't keep PP from bringing her pose game to the streets of Los Angeles yesterday. Oh, how they have been lonely without her. And does anyone think her pooch Henry has a guilty "Ahs Fixed Dah Brakes" look on his face?

This is the status note international supermodel and Hot Babe of the Millenium, Phoebe Price, just left on her Facebook. There's no time to cry! Pray that not one cutlet was harmed on PP or Mama Cutlet's beautiful faces. Not one.

Drop whatever dick you're sucking, run to the freezer, get out all your chicken cutlets and carefully place them around your Phoebe Price shrine. If you don't already have a PP shrine, slap yourself and then create one fast. All together now! Light all the candles, hold two cutlets and pray, pose, pray, pose, pray, pose, pose, pray....

No, these are not stills from I DREAMED A DREAM: The Susan Boyle Story, it's Meryl Fucking Streep as Julia Child. Hearing Meryl do Julia's "nipple hair twisting voice" (in a good way) is worth the price of admission alone.

In Julie & Julia, Meryl plays Julia at the start of her career to her reign as the head bitch in America when it comes to French cuisine. Amy Adams co-stars as Julie, a blogger who spent 365 days trying to master all 525 of the recipes in Julia's Mastering the Art of French Cooking. That is some crackhead shit right there. Have you ever seen Julia cook on TV? Homegirl does it all. I think in one episode, she runs out into the farm and strangles a chicken with her thighs. She's no joke.

The Oscar skanks should just hand over a nomination to Meryl right now. Why bother with the flirting and dirty talk. They should all pass a nom over to international supermodel and master seat filler Phoebe Price for her work in the picture above. Chicken Cutlets is spreading those legs wide for an Oscah!

Yesterday happened, which means international supermodel Phoebe Price was back at her full-time job as head poser on the streets of Los Angeles. But it wasn't just any regular day at the office for Chicken Cutlets. She made it extra special by shimmying into her Easter best and sedating Henry with Xanax so that she could get him into a chickie costume. That picture is like a before & after! Henry is the before: a chickie. PP is the after: cutlets!

A couple of weeks ago, I posted some video of PP getting into it with some crazy lady on the streets of Beverly Hills. The crazy lady, who claims to be homeless, got on our Hot Babe of the Millennium, because she says PP doesn't treat her mama right. PP spoke out about the very traumatic experience in the video below. PP wants everyone to know that her mother only trails behind her like a concubine, because she doesn't want to be in the pictures! If you notice in the pics below, her mother is far off in the background. PP's mother knows that she needs to let the master perform her art without any kind of disturbance! PP's mother is respecting the artist!! By the way, if you watch the shit below, make sure you're not eating, drinking or sucking anything before the 1:28 mark.

I'm just about to get on a flight to South Carolina to track down the Funeral Fairy, so that we can take our act on the road. Two fairies make a RIGHT. I'm also going down to SC for a wedding. No, I did not dress up as a wounded sea creature and trick Mah Boo Anderson Cooper into marrying me. That's next month. I'm going to another wedding. And I fucking love to booze at weddings.

So, I won't be able to post more shit until I land, check into my No-Tell Motel and wash my ass off in the sink. Then I will be back for more fuckery.

In the meantime, I leave you with this video featuring our very own international supermodel Phoebe Price battling it out with a straight-up chicken cutlet HATER. Crazy vs. Crazy! Who will win?

The crazy lady thinks PP makes her own mother stand behind her like some kind of slave! The audacity! PP's mother has to stand behind her, because if she doesn't, she might be wounded by PP's international supermodel skills. When PP knocks a pose, a bitch can get hurt.

The crazy lady threatens to whoop that cutlet! Seriously, she threatens to beat a hot babe down! PP fires back by saying she'd shoot a bitch if that happened. DAMN! Famewhoring is seriously a dangerous game. Bitches are getting shot over this shit! Famewhorez 'n the Hood!

You know, the crazy lady was really pissed because PP was trying to take her corner. For real. That being said, the crazy homeless lady is giving PP a run for her cutlets for the title of Hot Babe of the Millenium.

(Thanks Rachel)

International supermodel and recluse Phoebe Price was trying to have a quiet lunch of charred cutlets and gizzard cubes when the paparazzi ambushed her! Can't they just leave her alone?! There's a Kardashian whore out there begging to have a camera shoved up her twat while the always-shy PP is trying to have a private moment to herself. She never asked for this life of fame! She just wants to continue her career of modeling with inanimate objects on street corners and making hats out of dead astro-bats. But if you insist....

The paps also begged PP to show them her latest editiorial spread in Vogue Kuwait. Okay, it was Life & Style, but that's pretty much the same thing.

International supermodel, silver screen star, Hot Babe of the Millennium, head decorator and battered women's activist Phoebe Price famewhored the streets of Beverly Hills with plastic OctoMommy lips and said she went to Shauna Sand's plastic surgeon. Chicken Cutlets has sharpened her bone and declared war on my Empress of Lucite!!! WHY?! This is like fucking Sophie's Choice! Now I know how Wendy Crewson felt in The Good Son. This is a choice I could never ever make. Cutlets or lucite? I can't live without either them. Don't make me do this, PP! You are hurting my insides slowly. Make cutlets, not war! STAINS, look into my eyes and show me the light!

Here's PP looking like the dehydrated love child of The Joker and Poison Ivy while working the ho stroll with fellow street poser Jennifer Elise Cox yesterday.

On this very special episode of Wise Words from PP, the "Hot Babe of the Millennium" has a message for RiRi. PP is not only an international supermodel, silver screen star, premiere seat-filler and head decorator, but she's also a spokesperson for domestic abuse.

Just like RiRi, PP was a victim of getting her ass beat down by a dude and she has some advice to share. A true inspiration to us all.

If the chicken beater didn't die two years, I would've been screaming for Pamela Anderson and PETA, because poultry abuse is not okay! Lick a cutlet, don't beat one!

I'm going to expect that her new reality show touches on serious subject matters like this in between scenes featuring PP posing with inanimate objects.