Phoebe Price

And now it's that time of day where we see what latest and glamorous fashions are coming out of Paris. By "Paris" I mean Robertson Blvd. International supermodel and headband entrepreneur Phoebe Price treated the paps to an impromptu fashion show yesterday. PP usually only graces the catwalks of mini-mall fashions shows, so this was a fucking treat. Okay, she does this every week, but it's still special. Okay, it's not special, but just eat your chicken cutlet sammy (it better not be tuna) and let PP take you on a beautiful fashion journey.

After PP exhausted herself by giving a show to the elite fashion media, she met up with Bobby Trendy on the street to show him her stunning headbands. Chicken Cutlets takes her business seriously! She doesn't care where she sells her wares as long as she gets to dress the heads of America with her bedazzled masterpieces. Don't be surprised if you're laying on the beach in Ensenada, Mexico and PP approaches you with her suitcase of luxurious head belts.

I was waiting for international supermodel Phoebe Price to make an appearance to the famewhores celebrities-only pumpkin patch in West Hollywood, CA. The owners of the patch probably paid PP's regular fee of a $50 gift certificate to The Ivy to come to their establishment and pose with the pumpkins. Chicken Cutlets is the grand dame of posing with inanimate objects. She can make two ordinary pumpkins look like they just sashayed off the runways of Paris. When PP touches them, they suddenly become works of art. Wait. Those are pumpkins and not her chichi balls, right? Because her titties might be the same color. Just making sure that I don't need to put NSFW bars over them.

Below are a few more pictures of Chicken Cutlets with her dog Henry. Just so you know, I'm going to try and recreate her extremely expensive shirt tonight using old puffy paint pens and magic markers.

The international holiday known as Phoebe Price's birthday was yesterday and the chicken cutlet of the hour started the festivities at the little known and hidden eating establishment The Ivy on Robertson Blvd. You know how PP is. She doesn't like to make a big show of things. She's shy. But she did graciously share her birthday with the other diners by passing out modest one-of-a-kind cupcakes from Albertson's with her coy image on it. Oh, what would I give for one of those limited-edition cupcakes with my favorite international supermodel on it! I would shellac it and keep it on my bedside table. That way the first thing I see in the morning when I open up my crusty eyeballs (don't judge) is two of my favorite things together as one: processed sugar and Chicken Cutlets!

After PP's intimate birthday lunch, the celebration continued at a Holiday Inn conference room. I'm joking! Her party was at some very exclusive restaurant in Santa Monica. It's so exclusive that I'm not allowed to know the name.

Here's a few pictures from PP's low-key party. Wait. Maybe she got her cupcakes at the Post Office? Since when do they have a bakery? It must be for V.I.P.s only. And that custom made cake is one of the most beautiful things I've seen this hour in my life.

Our little Chicken Cutlets is all grown up! It was only 21 (plus 2o or 30) years ago that our very own "Hot Babe of the Year" came into this world to bring some poultry glamour into our dreary lives! Who knew that the little Southern belle from Alabama would become an international supermodel and icon to just me millions?

Please microwave a small chicken cutlet, spread a little cream cheese on it, stick a candle in it and make a wish for PP as you take a trip down memory lane.

Like cutlets to a flame.... It's our very own international supermodel and "Hot Babe of the Year" Phoebe Price at the Emmy Awards this afternoon. PP is nominated for Most Glamorous Member of the Poultry Family in a Paparazzi Video. She's totally going to win.

It looks like the Frederick's of Hollywood outlet store had a red light special! I'm joking! I'm sure PP's stunning dress was made by herself on the floor of her living room using an old Butterick dress pattern and a sewing machine she borrowed from her elderly neighbor. I'm joking again! I shouldn't be so jokey when it comes to Chicken Cutlets. She's serious business. But I do think my slutty aunt who got vagina rejuvenation surgery did have curtains like that in her boudoir. She said the red lace curtains made her feel like a real sensual woman.

PP is playing it smart by wearing red panties under red lace. Just in case PP's copper wire bouquet should peek out, we won't even notice! The fire bush matches its covers!

Here's more of the sexiest seat filler in the business at the Emmys looking like she's on her way to audition for the sequel to "Staying Alive" called "Staying Aliver." And that's PP's mother/agent/manager/assistant/cutlet handler/publicist behind her.

International supermodel and luxury headband designer Phoebe Price will grace the Emmys this Sunday in hopes of adding a lot more chicken cutlet glamour to the show. The Emmy whores should be on their knees kissing her freckled feet, because she's doing them a favor. PP is a major motion picture actress who shouldn't be fraternizing with TV folk.

Besides, who's going to pose on Robertson Blvd. this Sunday while PP is busy being the hottest seat warmer in the business at the Emmys? Robertson is going to be filled with a whole lot of lonely without Chicken Cutlets.

Yesterday, PP visited one of the Emmy swag suites to pick up a bunch of free shit to sell on eBay. That's how she pays her rent. I'm fucking lying! She probably doesn't even keep that shit. Every month, PP and the elegant Shauna Sand travel to a third-world country to donate their free swag. I bet you Saint Angelina doesn't even do that!

While picking up luxurious items like chewing gum and hair dryers, PP stopped to talk with the Associated Press. Yes, the Associated Press. She said: "I always like seeing the latest stuff. I get inspired to see what different designers have to offer." PP is truly a creative soul. Only a true artiste could be inspired by chewing gum.

She also said her Emmy dress is "very provocative"and will "cause quite a stir." What does that mean?! If she wears nothing but BBQ sauce and boiled chicken skins, I will faint into a pile of cutlets.

Here's some pictures of PP posing with more inanimate objects at Melanie Siegel's Emmy House. I also threw in some pictures of Chicken Cutlets looking like an extra from "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" while doing a cartwheel in some random parking lot.

This is what poultry dreams are made of! I couldn't think of a better or hotter suitor for international supermodel Phoebe Price than a bootleg Donald Duck!

I must say a little prayer for George Eastman today, because without his help, this picture would have never been taken. I mean, Chicken Cutlets kissing a plastic duck?! It doesn't get any better than this. Her chicken tender kisses have left him stiff. Literally!

Here's even more stunning photos of PP once again answering the question "Why is Phoebe Price an international supermodel?" You don't see Kate Moss posing on a little kiddie ride usually found in front of KMart. That's because Kate doesn't have the skills for that shit!

The pictures of PP in front of the mirror are also my favorites. The mirror has four chicken cutlets!

Ty Ty Banks may be an expert at "smiling wit yo eyes," but can she do this shit with her eyes?! You know she can't. Only international supermodel Phoebe Price knows how to "binge drink wit her eyes." That takes major skills. Even John Robert Powers can't teach this shit. You must be born with it.

PP was outside of some parking lot the other day when she took time out from her busy schedule of posing and headband selling to offer some help to TMZ's Harvey Levin. PP thinks Harvey needs help in the make-up department and said she would be happy to take him down to Neiman Marcus to find the right foundation for his skin. She is truly generous. A day of foundation buying with an international supermodel sensation like Phoebe Price is priceless. And when she said "Neiman's" she really meant Rite-Aid.

PP couldn't talk long because she was late for her day job as ticket taker at The Revenge of the Mummy show at Universal Studios. I'm joking and I'm lie-telling! She was late for a very important show that I'm sure involves plenty of posing and "getting drunk wit your eyes."

Is there anything international supermodel Phoebe Price can't do? She's the greatest supermodel in the world, a box office superstar, a voice over artist, an anti-Chanel activist, a poster child for sexy chickens everywhere and she even has a line of candles that melt into lotion! PP has now added headband designer to her resume! At first I thought she was wearing Z Gallerie curtain tiebacks inspired by Jesus' crown of thorns.

Chicken Cutlets' line of headbands, cleverly called "Phoebe Price," are sold exclusively at The Dollar Tree H. Lorenzo in Beverly Hills. You better drop that fucking french toast sammy and run over to H. Lorenzo now! This shit will be sold out by this afternoon because PP is going to buy them all herself. And I want one of those present decorations in every color!

Since we're on the subject of cutlets, PP recently took time out from bedazzling ribbons to talk to Instinct Magazine. Here are a few quotes. I'll let them speak for themselves:

PP on why she should guest star on Ugly Betty: " I've lived all over the world for the last four years. I lived in South Africa, Milan and Greece. And in Milan, I fell in love with fashion. I'm trying to stay away from reality TV though, although I've had four offers this week!"

PP on her worst fashion fuck-up: "Under my short dresses, I do wear underwear, but sometimes the thong string is really, really small. And a lot of people say, 'She said she doesn't do nude or topless, and now she's showing her butt everywhere!' So I've learned to go get bigger thongs just to let people know I am wearing underwear. Lately I've had the worst time with my dresses flying up when I'm wearing a nude thong! Two years ago, I could walk around naked underneath my stuff and no one cared, and it's like, now I have to wear underwear!"

PP on fame: "Well I've always thought I was famous in my own mind! I figured I could do it a little bit differently than everyone else. I've kind of got the fame side of it first, and now I'm able to turn it around to show people you can actually become a movie star or anything that you set your mind to. You can always do it."

The last quote really explains it all. Truly inspiring.

Here's more of PP looking like a sexy plate of saffron noodles and chicken cutlets while hawking headbands at H. Lorenzo in Beverly Hills yesterday.

How does international supermodel Phoebe Price find the time to pose all day on Robertson Blvd, buy tabloid magazines, appear in feature films AND lend her beautiful chicken call to a voice project?! And she does it all while looking stunningly beautiful.

Chicken Cutlets invited photographers inside the CCA Sound Studios in Burbank yesterday to observe magic in the making. PP did voice work for something called "Scarlett May Blossom's Diary: Ceilings I Have Seen." The book looks like a cross between soft-core erotic lit and a young readers' book from the 1970s. I'm sure it will never see the light of a Blockbuster sweep the Oscars next year!

Here's more of PP hard at work. How does she deliver such raw emotion while posing at the same time? She's truly a revolutionary talent!