Phoebe Price

Too busy to live? Well, Oprah is too busy to pose for the covers of her own magazine. The Mighty O has been on every cover since 2000 and she's sick of that shit! That's what Page Six claims anyway.

A source told them, "Oprah has told the editors at O magazine she's tired of being on the cover every month. It's a pain. It takes a lot of time and energy and she's sick of it. She's given them six months to figure out what to do without her."

Hmm...I say they should go to the next letter in the alphabet and change the name of the magazine to P. That way international supermodel Phoebe Price can be on the cover each week. I'm joking! Don't throw salmonella-laced cutlets at me!

A rep for the magazine said this shit is a bold-faced lie and that Oprah will continue to pose for covers.

How hard could it be to get your picture taken once or twice a month? If it's really such a hassle, Oprah should get herself cloned. Or she can just pay for Gayle King to have plastic surgery to look just like her. I'm sure Gayle would queef at the chance to be Oprah's twin.

And since I mentioned Chicken Cutlets in this post, it would be illegal for me not to include some stunning photos of her. Here she is posing with her dog and a magazine while out in Beverly Hills yesterday. Seriously, that dog can't wait to fucking feast on her cutlets while she sleeps. Look at him sniffing and shit.

People Magazine better put a few million dollars away just in case international supermodel Phoebe Price is with child. I'm sure there will be an all-out bidding war for the exclusive pictures of her beloved chicken cutlet baby. I hear Backyard Poultry magazine has major bank!

Now who could the father be? I've narrowed it down to Russell Brand, Foghorn Leghorn, Chicken Boo, and Michael K. Okay, scratch off the last name. Wishful thinking!

Here's more of PP looking like a stunning bouquet of red fern and violets outside of Mr. Chow last night. And in the image above, I totally thought that was Jay Leno standing in the doorway, mesmerized by Chicken Cutlets' beauty. It's just an imposter!

International supermodel Phoebe Price made a triumphant return to the catwalks of Paris on Sunday night where she instantly became the toast of the town all over again! And by "Paris" I mean "Anaheim, CA." Disneyland to be exact. Downtown Disney to be exactly exact.

So what if it wasn't Paris! PP isn't one of those snob types that thinks their cutlets don't stink! She walked in a fashion show held in an outdoor mall, because she wanted to give back to the people! The people who made her the international sensation she is today! That and the organizers probably gave her a dinner voucher for the Rainforest Cafe. Who would turn that down?!

Here's more of our very own "Hot Babe of the Year" working it for of a bunch of people who have no idea who she is her thousands of fans at Downtown Disney. And also lounging in her luxurious dressing room. JLo is totally jealous.

Did Kim Kardashian replace Nicole Scherzingwhatever as the lead lip-syncher of the Trannycat Dolls? Who the hell is that tranny?

What's sad is that my 4-year-old cousin worships these skanks. I seriously better not hear about her driving around on her Princess Big Wheel, wearing her mother's Playtex bra while singing about how when she grows up she wants boobies. I will slap her mom with a dirty chankla if that ever happens.

And I'd love to see these hos actually riding those bikes. Something tells me there would be a lot of falling trannies.

International supermodel and chanteuse Phoebe Price is here to serenade you into the weekend with her thrilling and emotional rendition of Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl." PP has changed the lyrics as a touching homage to her dog Henry. Chicken Cutlets singing "poo poo chocolate" is now my ringtone. Enjoy!

International supermodel Phoebe Price was gracious enough to allow the cameras into her inner sanctum. No, I'm not talking about Robertson Blvd! I'm talking about her Chicken Cutlet Palace! As you know, PP is an extremely private person, so this is a rare glimpse into her chicken cutlet world. Strangely enough, her life inside her home is practically like her life outside. She poses with inanimate objects all day while looking drop-dead gorgeous. Seriously, I think she gets up, poses with her toothbrush, catwalks to her cutlet rotator,, poses with it, and so on.....

I especially love the picture of PP posing with her younger self. I think that picture wants to cry. Cry tears of joy, of course! Who knew that little girl would grow up to become a sex symbol for the poultry industry and an inspiration to one homo named Michael K millions?!

PP is seen here wearing the stunning ensemble she wore to the Teen Choice Awards. Yes, she went to the Teen Choice Awards! The show could not go on without their official seat warmer! It's just not possible.

I won't say anything more. I will let these beautiful pictures do the talking. Let them take you on a journey. An intimate journey into the life of an international star.....

I'm so used to seeing international supermodel Phoebe Price only posing with her dog Henry, her mom and various inanimate objects, so it's a little weird seeing her with this chick. I have not yet determined if this chick is good enough to be in the company of such greatness. The chick's name is Meredith Ostrom. She's an actress or some shit. You know she paid PP thousands of dollars to hang out with her for just an hour, because she knows being seen with a major A-lister will boost her career. PP was kind of enough to take pity on her.

Here's our very own "Hot Babe of the Year" in Beverly Hills yesterday, posing with an audition script, some dresses, a bike, and a car. I bet PP graduated first in her class at Barbizon School of Modeling! I didn't even graduate in the top 10! And please tell me PP is playing the role "Gloria Ramos" in a movie or TV show. Also, please tell me Gloria Ramos is a chola. Seeing PP as a chola would be my cue to exit this world. There would be nothing more to see after that.

International supermodel and anti-Chanel activist Phoebe Price held a demonstration outside of the Chanel store on Robertson Blvd the other day. Okay, this wasn't so much as a demonstration as it was PP posing for the paps. And looking naturally beautiful while doing so.

PP was probably there to show those dumb whores at Chanel what they are missing out on - chicken cutlet glamour! Okay, the truth is they didn't let her into the store. I'm joking! If PP took shits, she wouldn't even wipe herself with their tacky crap!

Don't ask me what's going on with her mega lawsuit against Chanel. I think the Supreme Court is handling it or something.

In the first thumbnail below, does PP realize that the pap is trying to get a clear shot of her copper wire bush? She is so transfixed with the camera lens that she has no idea what's going on. A true pro.

UPDATE: Here's a video from FinalPixx of PP outside of the store. She tells the paps that she must have left an impact, because Chanel has shut down. Actually, they were doing a little work in the front of the store, so people had to enter from the back. The store is still open. Don't tell PP that!

P.S. - Below in thumbnail #6, that's not a missing tooth! That's a black diamond!

International supermodel Phoebe Price was the #2 most searched bitch on Yahoo today. FAME! Okay, 80% of those searches probably came from Chicken Cutlets, 15% came from me, and the other 5% came from the Foster Farms chickens. It doesn't matter how she got there, it only matters that she's there.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go search for PP another hundred times. Super Chuck Norris is coming for her chicken cutlets! Wait, I can't type Chuck Norris' name without leaving you with a CN fact: When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. And another one: Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.

And here's the ravishing Elvira Phoebe wearing a Gucci dress from the clearance rack at The Mummy 3 premiere yesterday.

Who needs Chanel when you have Gucci? International supermodel, fashion icon and poultry lover, Phoebe Price, showed the paparazzi a dress given to her by the Gucci outlet store of Cabazon, CA Gucci. You know that dress is from Forever 21 and she sewed the Gucci tag on it. I'm joking! Slap me with a wet dildo. I'm sure Mr. Guccio Gucci himself rose from the dead to personally pick out that gown for our beloved "Hot Babe of the Year."

Chicken Cutlets plans to wear this extremely elegant dress to premiere of "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor" this Sunday. PP plays one of the mummy extras. I'm joking again! Whip me with anal beads. PP only does serious art-house flicks like "Get Smart." She doesn't do superficial crap like The Mummy! She's a serious actress!