Phoebe Price

Phoebe Price has landed in Cannes! The other International supermodels can go home now, because the master has arrived. Our lady of chicken cutlets crashed the premiere of "Kung Fu Panda" today. No, PP didn't crash! She's a seat filler. An International seat filler, thank you very much. No, PP was invited....I think...I guess?

I bet you Angelina Jolie tried to get PP off the red carpet, because she was stealing her shine. That's fine. Angelina isn't the first to feel threatened by PP's utter glamour.

Even that skank bag of a woman, Eva LongWHORIA, tried her hardest to take the spotlight. Who the hell does this raccoon-eyed bitch think she is? Eva stole that shit from the costume closet of "Wicked" on Broadway. Stupid tramp! Too bad someone didn't trip her ass down the stairs. A flurry of chiffon flying down the red stairs would have made for a dazzling pre-show.

International supermodel, actress and celebrity, Phoebe Price, was on "The Insider" tonight to fight back against The National Enquirer for those cellulite pictures they published of her on their cover. PP, wants her fans (aka me and all my personalities) to know that she doesn't really look like that! She thinks they were doctored! PP and Mischa Barton should start their own organization together, "International Supermodels Against Fake Cellulite."

PP even posed for The Insider in the same bikini to show her "fans" and the world she doesn't have a cellulite problem. Chicken Cutlets also promised to wear a thong next time. There goes your lunch! You really didn't need it.

Wait...I just realized that PP was on National television! Today should be an International holiday! Chicken cutlets for everyone!

I leave you with these stunning pictures of PP posing with her passport and some other crap at LAX yesterday. She's good at that. She should become a professional passport hand model. Notice the peons in the back! They are stunned by her glamour and beauty or maybe they are just trying to figure out who the hell she is.

While most of you were fighting your memaw for the last Swedish crepe at IHOP yesterday, Phoebe Price was busy doing some photo shoot on the beach. I'm sure it's for the cover of Vogue, a Detrol pamphlet or a Foster Farms ad. Whichever. PP doesn't care what the photo shoot is for! She does it for the work! Because being an International supermodel is all she knows! She was born to pose.

Wait a chicken cutlet minute!!! Is she wearing pink UGGs?! UGGGGGGs?! Okay, I can forgive her this time, because she was probably under a lot of stress from this major photo shoot. My PP and UGGGGs?! I need an enema.

Yesterday, I posted about Phoebe Price's cottage cheese thighs making the cover of The National Enquirer and look what we have here..... PP heard my pleas and posed with her latest cover for the paps today. This is exactly why PP will forever be "Hot Babe of the Century!" PP is an International supermodel that has graced covers of magazines that I can't even pronounce, yet she still found time to pose with our little local newspaper. She truly is a legend in Michael K's mind only.

PP even found time to stop and smell the sunflowers. Seriously, posing with sunflowers? Those Ann Geddes' babies need to watch and learn. This is how you really strike a pose next to a sunflower.

In my next life, I want to come back as one of PP's freckles! Wait...does she have freckles down there? Perhaps, I should rethink my wish.

Recognize those New England clam chowder thighs on the left? Of course you do. It's posing for the cameras which means it can only be the International sensation known as Phoebe Denise Price! FAME! PP better hike up her chicken cutlets and proudly pose with this National Enquirer cover for the paps. PP got a cover! Enquirer this week, The Globe next week and then the world!

The Enquirer used a picture from this set of pictures of PP at the beach from a week ago or so.

Below are some other pictures of National Enquirer cover girl, PP, walking the stroll in Beverly Hills a few days ago.

The search is over! The cover girl for Sport Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition 2009 has been found. It's pretty obvious that PP deserves the cover. Shit, they should devote the entire issue to her. They don't even have to shoot new pictures! They can use these. It will be their best-selling issue of all time and by "best-selling" I mean it will sell 2. I will buy one and PP will buy one.

Here's PP in Malibu yesterday with a man. How dare PP cheat on me with another gay! I was going to have chicken cutlets for dinner tonight, but I'm having fish instead! Betrayed!

So Phoebe Price is the woman behind the possible break-up of Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff Ice! I knew it! No man can resist the charms of her chicken cutlets!

Mario was photographed leaving a restaurant in Los Angeles with PP. Here are the pictures. Can't you feel the fire between them? Okay, she totally butted into his shot, but she will not be ignored! Mario cannot deny their love anymore.

When asked by OK! Magazine if he was dating "socialite" Phoebe Price, Mario answered, "I don’t even know who that is. I heard that, and I was like, ‘Who is that?’” Mario needs to stop playing coy. His face has definitely been in PP's copper wire bush.

Here's the First Lady of Roberton Blvd. and the soon-to-be Mrs. Mario Lopez with her dog Henry yesterday. PP better send me an invitation to her wedding.

International model and soon-to-be Oscar nominee, Phoebe Price, showed the paparazzi that she does not have cottage cheese thighs after these bikini pictures made there way onto the internet (and probably every major HIGH fashion magazine in the universe) yesterday.

PP lifted up her dress to show us all she is cheese free. Oh shit. Just don't ask her if she's a natural redhead. I really don't need to see her copper wires...just yet.

These pictures of the stunning Phoebe Price on the beach with her dog Henry make my heart sing the following lyrics, "Where would we walk? Where would we run? If we could stay all day in the sun? Just you and me....And I could be....Part of your world!!!" PP totally sings that song to the Fashion Police section of UsWeekly.

If Ariel from the Little Mermaid moved to the Valley, got chicken cutlets put in and became an International model in her own mind, she would look like this:

Al Gore may have just found his most powerful warrior in the fight against global warming. Phoebe Price talked to Hollywood Bubble about the things we can do to save the environment. It's all things we've heard before, but who cares?! PP is just the crusader we need to save the world. She's going to do it one chicken cutlet at a time!

She should totally be Vanity Fair's cover girl for their "Green Issue" next year. She must!

Here's the video of PP's plea to save the environment and some pics of her looking like Pocahotmess at a movie premiere and lunch.