Amy Winehouse

I'm not even going to try and imagine what that finger smells like. The sweet and sour scent of heroin smegma...... Moving on...

The Wino is a free crackie! Wino will not face charges over a video that showed her smoking crack. Last week, Wino was questioned by police about the video and later released on bail.

Wino's spokesbitch said, "She was questioned by police last week and released on unconditional bail. They have now concluded their inquiries and no charges will be brought. Amy’s bail date to return to Limehouse police station has been cancelled, bringing this matter to an end. Amy is pleased to be able to move on and concentrate on music and particularly looks forward to seeing her fans again at eagerly awaited festival performances this summer."

I'm so happy to hear this little "misunderstanding" was cleared up. Now Wino can focus on drugging...I mean...making music. Seriously, she must have paid the cops off with a few bags of top shelf shit. The bitch probably has drugs we've never even heard of. She's a crack connoisseur!

Here's some pictures of Wino talking to fans outside her house. They just knocked on the door and she answered. Crackies are so trusting. After she signed autographs, she asked, "Do have a cigarette?" Crackheads are always asking for ciggies! Always! Even if they have a full pack in their pocket, they will ask you for one. Greeeedy.

Ladies and hobags, you are witnessing a new deadly and toxic super disease being born. You should feel grateful that you are watching history in the making. Unfortunately, this new super skank disease will take us all out within the next 72 hours. Oh well! It was swell knowing you.

Seriously, Wino needs to step off my Dreamboat! She can't give him what I can. Actually, she can give him a snatch full of crack. She wins. I can't compete with that shit.

This image can also be used for D.A.R.E.'s summer ad campaign. No words are necessary. This picture is enough to make junkies flee to their nearest methadone clinic.

Wino and Dreamy shared a kiss of mass destruction outside of her house last night. We're doomed.

Amy Wino and her friend and guitarist, Kristian Marr, arrived at her house late last night from the country. Kristian was asleep in the car, so Wino decided to leave him there and she went inside. Kristian woke up a little while later and instead of going on home, he broke into Wino's garage. He curled up and tried to get some sleep on her garage floor, but was interrupted by the fuzz.

He told them he was staying with Wino. They tried to reach Wino, but her ass was dead asleep. Kristian is Sadie Frost's boyfriend and he tried to contact her too, but she was also busy getting her beauty sleep. When crackheads finally fall asleep, they sleep for real.

Kristian was finally taken off to the police station. I blame Wino. You know she gave him some of that bad shit. The kind of bad shit that only Wino can handle. I swear, crackies do the strangest things.

Here's more pics of crackie Kristian getting busted by the police and also some pics of Wino walking around barefoot earlier yesterday. The hive is growing. It's aaaaaaalive!

Amy Wino may walk the runways at London's Fashion Week this Fall. I really shouldn't say "walk." I should say she might drag her ass down the catwalk. Julian MacDonald has asked her to wear one of his gowns in his fashion show.

Julian said, “She’s an amazing talent. We are always busy working on fashion week. She’s an incredible person, who is just very unique and has a great style. She is just so different.”

Different? Julian needs to take a bike ride through the East Village of NYC. Half of those crackhead hipsters look like Wino.

Good luck getting Wino to talk in a straight line. Julian should leave little crack rocks up and down the catwalk. That way Wino will take her time down the catwalk, slowly picking up the rocks. She won't be distracted!

Here's some pictures of the crackhead coyotes of the forest yesterday in London.

For just a dollar a day you can sponsor a child in need... I wish I could sponsor this child! I would take her ass on a Michael K eating tour. We would hit IHOP, Outback, Bennigan's and Cracker Barrell. You know, all the fine establishments. The girl also needs a few days in the tank followed by a couple of coffee enemas to bring down that tweeker bloat.

Here's Amy Wino and her friends were hanging out in a park near her recording studio in London yesterday. They look like a bunch of mangy children of the woods that wait behinds trees to attack the innocent and steal their coins to buy candy. They totally communicate through grunts.

I've done some crazy things while stuck in traffic, like piss in a Big Gulp cup or give a handjob to my passenger, but I've never wandered the damn highway. That's why Amy Wino did in London today. Wino was stuck with several other motorists as they waited for an accident to clear.

Wino couldn't sit still, so she got out of her car and started asking the other motorists for a ciggie light. She also showed off fresh cuts all over her arm. Ugh. Let's just throw her in a FedEx box and send her to Tommy Girl. She'll come out talking like a robot and smiling like a Stepford wife, but that's better than this shit.

I'm all for looking like a truck stop crack whore, but this is ridiculous.

If those ballet slippers could talk..... Actually, they wouldn't talk. They would just scream in terror.

The Wino is loose on the streets of London again! Wino was arrested by appointment (the British are so civilized) yesterday for that video of her smoking crack which was released by The Sun in January. She was originally questioned about the tape in February and was due for a second interview in June, but yesterday she was asked to return to the police station. She was interviewed, arrested and then released on bail.

I love how they give you an appointment for when your ass is going to be arrested. And Wino showed up! Shit, I would ask them if I could re-schedule that appointment for like 2012 or something? I would tell them I had a dentist appointment and couldn't make it. I'm sure they would understand.

Wino celebrated her freedom by roaming the streets at 4am to buy magazine, snacks and drinks. Please. The ho just wanted to let all the drug dealers of the neighborhood know that their queen customer was back in action.

Let this be a lesson to you all! Don't smoke crack on camera! Ha! Now I must go wash off the chola tear I drew under my eye yesterday in honor of Wino being in the slammer.

Source

The Sun is reporting that Wino is currently being questioned by the fuzz on suspicion of drug offenses at a police station in East London right now. I'd love to see how that conversation is going down.

Cop: (trying not to laugh) So...um....do...you...um...use drugs?

The entire station erupts in laughter! Some even die from laughing so hard!

Heatworld reports that she's been arrested, but who knows. That's nothing new for Wino. Handcuffs are a Wino's best friend! As you may remember, Wino was given a caution recently by the police for headbutting a dude outside of a bar.

UPDATE: The Daily Mail is reporting that she was in fact arrested. Scotland Yard said it has to do with a video they received of Wino. Last January, pictures from the video of Wino allegedly smoking crack was published by The Sun. Scotland Yard released this statement:

"Around 1pm today a 24-year-old women from the Camden area attended a London police station by arrangement and was arrested in connection with the alleged possession of a controlled drug.

She remains in custody."

FREE WINOOOO, Part II!!!!

Thanks Peaches

If Nell Kellty learned how to make crack from mayonnaise, weeds and dirt, she would probably look like Wino in these pictures. " T'eeeea in da winnnnnn." Best movie ever. "Ressa ressa ressa mea."

Wino was spotted yesterday wandering the woods barefoot in a bikini made from kitchen rags. The woman looks like she's been living off of small rodents in the Appalachian Mountains. A crackhead mess, but so hot. You know you're going to wear a kitchen rag bikini this summer.

Wino and Blaaaake's fucked up relationship is my favorite soap opera. Days of our Crackheads! Wino has already asked Blaaake for a divorce, because she wants to be with Alex Haines. She's denied this. Now comes word that Blaaake plans to run away with his blonde mistress. He wants to take a huge chunk of Wino's $20 million fortune with him. That's if she doesn't smoke it up first.

Blaaake and his blonde bitch have been plotting their escape during secret prison visits. Blaaake wants a $6 million divorce pay day from Wino. The Sun claims he told his blonde ho, “Just say the word and I’ll dump Amy. I love you more than I could ever love my wife. You’re all that matters to me. I’ll leave Amy and we will be rich beyond our wildest dreams. But you have to marry me. Promise me you will and we can be happy.”

Who the hell talks like that? Blaaake thinks he's fucking Joan Crawford. Drama. I'm sure he flipped his hair when he said it too. Blaaake calls his mistress "Tickles." Ok, he's totally Joan Crawford.

The real reason Blaaaake is escaping with Tickles probably has a lot to do with these pictures of Wino without her crack hive wandering the garden in a bra. If there ever was an image for the word "Crackhead," that would be it right there!