Amy Winehouse

Earlier this week, the newly refurbished Amy Wino checked herself into the clinic, because she had a strange reaction to some over-the-counter cold medication she was taking. According to her daddy, Wino didn't have a leaky nose, bitch just had another leaky boob in her life (the other being her father).

While filming his new TV show (don't get any ideas, Michael Lohan), Mitch Wino set the record straight about why Wino was laid up in the hospital, "It wasn't because she had a cold. She's fine, she just had a little (Mitch points to his chest) leaky something or other."

Wino's titty wasn't leaking, it was crying tears of pain due to Mitch Wino always staring them down while playing with something in his pocket. My nipple is crying just thinking about it. Or maybe I just had too much soy milk with my rum last night.

One of Wino's friends told The Mirror that her crack ball did indeed CRACK, "She saw something oozing out on to her top. She was worried as they looked wonky and to see stuff seeping out was horrible."

Um. Wino has already been declared a toxic zone by the Department of Health, so if strange substances weren't oozing out of Wino's pores, THAT be cause for concern.

And I'm surprised Wino was worried at all. I would think she would just scrape up the silicone jizz, throw it on a spoon, take a lighter to it and smoke it up.

via The Sun

If Amy Wino doesn't visit THE CLINIC (dun dun dun) at least a few times a month, the staff starts to get a little worried that they might lose their jobs. Lucky for them, Wino dropped in last night after she had a bad reaction from mixing medications.

The Mirror reports that Wino got the ills after she mixed over-the-counter cough medication with some shit she was already taking. A source said, "Amy took over-the-counter stuff for a cold but it didn't agree with medication she takes for her on-going recovery. A doctor came to the house and advised her to go the hospital to make sure she was all right. She was due to stay the night."

You would think that Wino's body is already used to every kind of drug in all combinations, so something in the milk ain't clean about this. It's not like she swallowed a vitamin or licked a clean piece of lettuce. My guess is that Wino is really in the hospital to get a fix of her latest addiction: plastic surgery. Don't widen your eyes if you see Wino strolling out of there with a new ass like a Care Bear or a nose like a Jackson.

Here's Wino trolling around London on Saturday night, just a few hours before she checked into the hospital.

Amy Wino used a lot of her booze fund to purchase her man-made chesticles and her pumped up lips, so she's going to get her money's worth by strutting them all over town. Last night, Wino stuffed her silicone sacks into a bra and took them out for a stroll around her old snorting grounds of Camden. Wino's new chichi balls are so powerful that they ripped through that wife beater. Or maybe her tank top was just trying to escape. Yeah, that was probably it.

Here's the next cover girl for Judy Blume's Freckle Juice trying not to fall over while balancing two medicine balls on her chest yesterday.

Amy Wino already got a replica of CoCo's ass balls implanted on her chest, and now she wants a matching pair for her butt area. That's what one of her friends told The Sun.

Apparently, Wino has traded in her addiction for the bad shit for a new addiction to plastic surgery. Wino has been blabbing about that she's so in lust with her new titty sacks that she's ready to get her ass pumped Kardashian-sized. Some source said, "Amy loves her boobs. She can't stop touching them and showing them off to friends. She says she feels womanly again and wants to be more curvy like she used to be. She thinks by having another op and bum implants that she will achieve her dream pin-up look."

Wino just got rid of one gigantic ass and now she wants another?! While I was on board with Wino's transformation from creature of the crackhouse to the star of MTV's "Becoming Jodie Marsh," I don't know if I can co-sign her getting breast implants on her ass. First of all, bitch's asshole is probably going to suffocate and that's sad. Second of all, does she really wants to look like Gargamel's head on Jessica Rabbit's body? Actually, that sounds kind of hot. Carry on, crackie!

Amy Wino got shot up in London tonight, but not with the stuff the kind of stuff that makes you run through the streets nekkid screaming "Blaaaaaaake." No, Wino decided to get injected with a legal substance this time around. Wino now has a luscious pair of swollen labia lips on her mouth to go with her new DDD crack rocks.

Wino's transformation into one of England's most pristine and fresh spring flowers is almost complete. Once she trades in her ballet slippers in for a pair of exquisite lucite heels, and her crackhive in for a free clinic punch card, she'll be ready to become Chapter President of the Empress of Lucite club. Yes, Wino is on her way. Our little Crackie is growing up. I am so proud.

Since every optometrist's office in London is filled with charbroiled eyeballs asking to be put out of their misery due to witnessing Wino's crackie sacks live, she decided to give the city a break and covered up when going for a sexy walk today.

Although, Wino found other ways to offend people (and dogs). I'm talking about the hair pick and the visor. I'll give her a pass on the pick since it's probably an afternoon snack for her crack hive, but THAT VISOR. Unless you're a California hot dog vendor circa 1983, this lady jogger, a poker playin' pepaw, a surprised cat, an old timey accountant, a German Shepherd or a pacifier-sucking raver, you have no business wearing a visor. Actually, Wino might be all those things combined, so carry on!

YES, I know this is my second Wino Titty Post in a row, but you must breathe these new pictures in to fully appreciate her new crack rocks. In the post below, I said that I wasn't a fan of Wino's new tits, but I take it all back! It's like I'm falling in love with Wino all over again. I mean, she's bringing tears to my nipples by busting out poses you usually only see in an adult services ad on Craigslist. Look at her chichis just flopping out of her top! Beauty and elegance!

Although, she might not even know her breasts are going rogue since I'm guessing she's lost all feeling in them. It doesn't matter! What does matter is that she's the eptiome of grace and elegance here. Jodie Marsh better step up her game, because Wino is going to snatch away her title as England's Finest Rose.

And just so you know, there's nipples galore in these pictures below. Nipples that can cut a line and snort it up.

Amy Wino's daddy already confirmed that she got new chichis put in, but he didn't tell us that she went with size: BABY HEAD. To be more specific, size: FAT BABY HEAD. Wino is serious about her titty implants.

You know that I'll throw down for a pair of magnificent chichis, but nothing good can come out of Wino's new pair. I mean, they look harder than a stale crack rock, so Wino is definitely going to use 'em to knock a bitch out. So if you sass Wino, you'll get a crack-covered loogie in the eye and a speedball titty on your head.

Thankfully, that didn't happen at tonight's Q Awards, but it came close. She was supposed to present an award to her friends The Specials, but bitch showed up on Wino time (aka minutes late). While The Specials were accepting their award, Wino pulled a Kanye by showing up on stage and crashing their speech. When The Daily Mail asked Wino why she was late, she shot back with, "What’s it to you, I was doing my hair. Fuck off." I think Wino meant that she was literally doing her hair. You know, humping on her crackhive. They are close like that.

Wino's shenanigans didn't stop there. When Robert Plant was on stage accepting an award, Wino started heckling from the back of the room. Robert stopped for a quick second, realized it was just the crackie acting up again and went on with his speech.

So, there you go. Brand new chesticles, but the same ole' fuckery!

Amy Wino might have knocked the crack devil off her shoulder, but she still can't control the itch in her snatch for Blaaaaake's rash-covered tongue. The Sun reports that even though Wino and Blaaaake killed their marriage last September, they have continued to talk through their Facebook accounts and may be back together.

Wino must have been playing with her Facebook zombie when it reminded her of how much she misses peeling Blaaaake's skin off under a full moon.

Blaaaake and Wino both changed their status to "married," and friends (aka their dealers and pipe holders) have started to congratulate them. Blaaaaaake even wrote this precious post about their reunion, "Can't argue with true love. What's the point?" Although, he could've been talking about the 8-ball sitting on his kitchen counter, and not about Wino.

I know a bunch of tweens would disagree with me, but getting married on Facebook isn't exactly legal, so there's nothing to worry about here. I doubt Wino and Blaaaaake are rubbing scabs in real-life. Wino is just having a little cyber fun.

That being said, don't even try to tell me that my Second Life wedding to Mah Boo Anderson Cooper was not the real thing. Just ask Second Life Rojo Caliente. She officiated the beautiful affair! And Second Life Rojo could never tell a lie.

Image: Bauer Griffin

Amy Wino's daddy Mitch not only confirmed that his daughter got her chichis pumped up, but he also said that they look "great."

On the British TV show This Morning (via People), Mitch Wino was asked how the former Crackie of Camden is doing, and he responded with, "Fantastic, fantastic. Her boobs are great as well. I shouldn't have said that should I? She looks absolutely fantastic." Mitch also wanted everyone to know that he didn't pay for his daughter's tit job.

I really shouldn't put Mitch in the same category as Papa Joe just yet. If a reporter asked Papa Joe about his daughter's breast situation, he would've busted into a crotch seizure, and then ran to the nearest liquor store to cool his bits on a block of ice. As far as I know, Mitch's privates stayed calm.