Trolls
Monday, January 7th 2008
Sucio!!!!
TMZ has a bunch of pictures of that midget, Hayden Panatroll, with that hot bitch Milo Ventimiglia at the movies this past weekend. They went to see "Atonement." She probably wanted to see "Alvin and the Chipmunks" instead. It looks like these two are a couple even though they have denied it in the past. Lie tellers!
I can handle the hand holding, but I pray I never have to see these two exchange spit or I'm going to lose my shit. Well, I already lost my shit this past weekend, but that was due to booze problems. My bowels can't take anymore.
Milo is dead to me! Not really, but hopefully he'll see the light. The light in my a-hole. I know I really need to get some.
Visit TMZ to see more of these two
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Monday, December 31st 2007
Milo Ventimiglia Is Really Starting To Hurt My Feelings
Hayden Panatroll and Milo Ventimiglia are getting serious and I'm grossed out by that. People reports that Milo hung out with Hayden's family during the holiday in New York.
A source said, "He's even met her grandparents. He fits in perfectly with the family. Milo jokes around with her little brother. They're buddies."
The source said they were very affectionate around each other with Hayden's family around. "He really takes care of her, even down to the little things like giving her a back massage and going with her to work." Um....don't they work in the same place?
I'm just going to choose to not believe this until I see pictures of this.
And what about the age difference? The source added, "At first it doesn't seem like there's a big age difference, but then you do see it. ... He's more proper and reserved, and she's still playful and very girly."
Girly? There's nothing girly about that midget gymnast!
Sunday, December 30th 2007
Mary-Kate Olsen Is My Kind Of Troll
Look! Gollum has crawled out of his cave, escaped the Misty Mountains and is now living in Los Angeles! Mary-Kate Olsen was spotted leaving a liquor store with boxes of Corona. She's probably prepping for NYE, because you know she can't handle that much beer. One sip and troll is probably laid up on the bridge. Damn. Now I'm craving a boilermaker.
Saturday, December 29th 2007
Awards Are For People Who Actually Do Something
Here's Lindsay attending the ceremony in Capri, Italy to receive her award for her for her contribution to the movie industry. Contribution to what? Her How-To book For Young Hollywood On Snorting Fat Rails Off Of Rehab Roommates Schlong?
Hayden Pantatroll looks like she's on her way to be Lindsay's narcotic snorting cronie troll in training.
Friday, December 28th 2007
Don't Ever Admit That
Milo Ventimiglia admitted that he's dating that midget bitch Hayden Panatroll. InTouch claims that at a Christmas party at the Water Grill in Los Angeles 30-year-old Milo toasted to his 18-year-old love.
A witness said, "He called her his girlfriend and said that he loved her." The source claims they spent the whole night holding hands.
I refuse to believe this. Milo will never admit this, because then he will have to admit that he has a fetish for midgets. Hayden belongs with someone like Elijah Wood or Jermaine Duprio or one of the Keebler elves. Not Milo!
Tuesday, December 11th 2007
Not Right And Not Okay
27-year-old Ryan Gosling and 18-year-old Hayden Panatroll were seen hugging and talking over lunch at Chateau Marmont in L.A. over the weekend. One witness told Rush & Molloy , "They were hugging a lot, and they ended up exchanging numbers."
First Milo Ventimiglia and now Ryan Gosling?! Do men in Hollywood have midget fetishes or something. If I wanted to eff a midget, I'd get with Matt Roloff. Now, that's a hot one.
Monday, December 10th 2007
Firestarter
Celebrity Babylon has some pics of Ashley Olsen throwing a lit ciggie down to the floor. How dare she! Call the cops. I wanna see that troll run from the fuzz in those shoes.
Arrest her! Throw her in the slammer. She's small enough to fit in a hamster cage and could survive on a diet of peanut butter and crackers, so tax payers would save money. She could even live on my desk, but she better not even think of using the hamster wheel in the middle of the night while I sleep.
This bitch is still the hottest troll in all the land. And what the hell is in her Fuji bottle? Tangerine Crystal Light?
Thursday, December 6th 2007
I Really Don't Know Who's More Annoying
I feel sorry for every single person that was at this GQ Man of the Year party last night. Being in the same room as Rumer and Hayden must be like Chinese water torture, but uglier! For the record, Rumer didn't win the title this year. Maybe next year darling with a few changes you can take the top prize!
Rumer strikes me as one of those types that thinks she's "one of the beautiful people." You know, the fugly girl that thinks she's gorgeous. Irritating!
And Hayden just needs to join the Russian Olympic gymnast team and go train for a long ass time.
Here's more pics of Butterhead shopping on Melrose yesterday.
Friday, November 30th 2007
Ash & Lance Move On
Who knew if Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen were dating, but if they were they've moved on. Lance Armstrong was seen "canoodling" at a Nascar party in NYC last night with fitness model Kim Strother.
A witness told OK! Magazine, "They were completely into each other the whole time. I didn't see them kissing, but she was sitting on his lap at one point and being very affectionate."
I thought all fitness models were lesbians. She has her arm around him like she's one of the guys. She's whispering in his ear, "Dude check out the rack on the redhead over there."
As for Ashley Olsen she was spotted "canoodling" with Josh Lucas at a party for The New Museum in NYC two nights ago. Lance was also at the party and witnesses seem to think Ashley was trying to make him jealous. Naw, she's just a horny troll.
A source said, "They were meant to be watching one of the acts but they were cuddling up instead. She was all over him."
I just can't keep track with Hollywood hos. Ashley is dating Josh today and tomorrow he will be dating Kate Hudson who will be dating Lance Armstrong the next day who will be dating Ashley again. It's a vicious circle
Wednesday, November 28th 2007
Nothing Can Keep An Olsen Down
Mary-Kate Olsen lives! She was spotted in NYC today. Homegirl was hospitalized last week or something for like a kidney infection. She probably ate a pea and it got stuck in her esophagus. I mean imagine how small her esophagus is. Like a drinking straw.
MK was coming out of Bubby's in Tribeca which was closed down very recently by the health department due to rats and coaches. That place is delicious, but I don't want rat caca in my waffles or do I?
Let's hope the health dept. doesn't see these pictures or they may close them down again thinking a giant rat was on the premises. Awww....I take that back. She's not a rat. She's a tiny little dormouse. A little doormouse with big, red Ray-Bans.
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