Maddox

Is Shiloh's locked tower undergoing renovations or something? She has never been outside this much. Angie Jo even let her walk on the floor! I'm surprised the floor didn't turn into solid gold. I'm sure the salespeople were told to not look Shiloh in the eye. Hell, they were even told not to look her dolly in the eye.

Brad, Morticia Jolie, Shiloh and Maddox once again created a pap frenzy while shopping in Cannes. Pax and Zahara weren't on the schedule. It's their day off.

Chichis are better than pillows. I'm gayer than a pair of giant pink bunny slippers and I still like taking chichi naps. It's better than Arby's horsey sauce. Brad looks like he could use a nap on those chichis. The bitch looks tired.

Pax is thinking, "Why did they do this to my hair?" Maddox is thinking, "Yeah, I got this."

Here's Maddox and his court on a yacht in Monaco today.

Maddox and Suri are finally together thanks to Photoshop and Radar Magazine. Actually, I think they used MSPaint, because clearly this was a quick "copy and paste" job. And Suri would never wear that shit! She only wears couture fashions straight off the runways of Paris!

Shiloh is pissed that Maddox made the cover and she didn't. Maddox is going to pay for this.

Source: Cover Awards VIA ONTD

How did Shiloh's precious little tooth get chipped? The other kids beat her ass! Star Magazine reports that the Brangelina house is like.....well...like a house full of kids! They are always pushing at each other which sometimes leaves Shiloh with bruises. Jesus went through the same kind of thing. It's hard a life being the chosen one.

According to this sourcie (Maniston), Zahara is the one holding the whip in the house. "She screams and shouts at the boys when she doesn't get her way. Z once clawed Shiloh's cheek after she tried to take her cookie. She's always pulling on Shiloh's hair so she can steal her food."

Angie Jo has become worried after Shiloh chipped her tooth from being knocked down. The source said that "she always comes back with a scraped knee or a fat lip!" Angie shouldn't worry. Shiloh's tooth will grow back and it will be made out of a diamond.

The source blames it on the junk food, pizza and the sugary crap the kids eat. That's not the reason! Britney Spears eats that shit all the time and look at her........wait...

InTouch claims Angie Jo is definitely knocked up with twins. Their sourcie said she's having a boy and a girl, "because Angelina took fertility treatments to help her ovulate, her babies are fraternal. They're ecstatic. She can't wait." Maddox must be their source. He's such a gossip.

They might even have a name for their new girl. Actress Sarah Bolger (above) of The Spiderwick Chronicles is going around saying that they will name their daughter Mallory after her character. She told the Daily Telegraph, "Angelina is saying in interviews that if one of the twins is a girl Maddox gets to name her and he has said Mallory because it's his favourite movie at the moment." Were these interviews in her dreams, because I haven't heard that shit at all.

She went on to say, "I was shocked because he's a boy and I thought he would have liked Jared or Simon (Mallory's twin brothers in the movie). So now I am crossing my fingers that they have a girl. I would love to go up to Angelina Jolie and go 'Your kid is named after me'. That would be the best thing in the world." Strangers things have happened. They did name Shiloh after a beagle.

There's only one Mallory and that's Mallory P. Keaton!

This is one of the dumbest and funniest stories I've read in a long time and I read a lot of dumb ass shit. I mean, I consider Jackie Collins a literary genius. Anyway, here's the story courtesy of UsWeekly:

The day before Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt finalized their adoption of 4-year-old son Pax, Angelina spent the afternoon with son Maddox, Us Weekly reports in its latest issue, on newsstands now.

After treating him to a matinée of The Spiderwick Chronicles at Hollywood's ArcLight theater, they hit the gift shop.

Six-year-old Maddox picked out a pack of gum labeled "I [Heart] My Penis."

"[Angelina] laughed and bought it," a witness told Us.

Thank you UsWeekly for making me feel very uncomfortable. I doubt Angelina bought the "I Heart Penis" gum for Maddox, she bought it for Brad to remind him he still has a dick. Because being with her, you kind of forget that shit. That was very considerate of her.