Queen Of Denials
Wednesday, January 9th 2008
Will Smith Is Working For Tommy Girl
Will Smith has denied that he's tossing Tom Cruise's salad and sucking on L. Ron Hubbard's frozen sperm popsicles. He claims he is not a Scientologist. Well, guess what he gave crew members at the wrap party for his movie? Big Willy gave the crew on his movie "Hancock" a card good for a personality test at your local Scientology center reports Gatecrasher. What a lovely gift! A coach-class ticket to the alien looney bin. The tests are free anyway and they are used to lure in new bitches.
Poor Will. I really hope Tommy Girl gives good head, because this is just not worth it. Will is basically going door-to-door like a vacuum salesman.
Jada Pinkett needs to get her mouth off the coochie and come rescue her favorite gay husband!
Wednesday, January 2nd 2008
The Denials
Deny! Deny! Deny! Ashlee Simpson and Kim Kardashian have both denied they are engaged to UsWeekly . Ashlee was spotted yesterday wearing some ring on her engagement finger, but her rep says that she is not promised to Pete Wentz.
Kim Kardashian was rumored to have gotten engaged to Reggie Bush, but she told UsWeekly, "Like he would marry me?! I'm a whore!." No...she said, "It's not true. Not yet!"
I love the "not yet" part. She's optimistic. NOT EVER, I hope.
Again, I don't believe when celebrities deny this crap. They are all liars! They are lie tellers! I think Ass and Pete might be engaged, because I can see those two nerds getting married. I don't see Reggie proposing to Kim K anytime soon though.
Sunday, December 30th 2007
The Ice Queen Claims She's Not Holding
Nicole Kidman's rep has denied the reports that bitch is with child. Nicole reportedly told friends and family at Christmas that she was pregnant with Keith Urban's baby. Her rep told news.com.au , "Frigid bitches can't get knocked up!"
No she didn't say that. She said, "It is incorrect . . . she must have had about 30 babies by now. She's in Australia making a film and her family are in Australia. She's happily ensconced away somewhere having a few days break. It's the silly season. As far as we're concerned, it's another rumour out of London."
However, one of Nicole's friends said the rumor could be true, because she has a slight baby bump.
Denials don't mean shit to me anymore. JLo straight-up said she wasn't pregnant and homegirl was lying. That's what these people do. They are lie tellers!
Wednesday, December 19th 2007
Damn!
Fanny's people have denied that she's knocked up with Young Dro's baby. It was reported this morning that she was expecting. Her rep said, "Fantasia is not pregnant and the Internet rumors are entirely untrue."
When asked why she's missed so many shows for "The Color Purple" on Broadway the show's rep said, "It is true that she has missed some performances because she has gotten sick from time to time over the nine months, but doing eight shows a week is a lot so she missed a few."
Fanny has one 6-year-old daughter named Zion. I was counting on Fanny to be pregnant. She'd be a mess! Fanny would walk around knocked up in a bikini. Sexy. She would also not break my heart by giving her baby some boring ass name.
This sucks.
Thursday, December 13th 2007
Everything's Lovely
A French woman came forward claiming she's been having an affair with Eva LongWHORIA's husband, Tony Parker. She claims they have been doing it for a couple of months now and that Eva doesn't know. The woman said Tony comes to her, because Eva doesn't want to do certain things. "She does not want to make love in front of a mirror, does not like [a] certain position and thinks that sperm gives acne."
No loads to the face for Eva? How the hell did she get her role on Desperate Housewives then? Oh, swallowing.
However, Eva and Tony are saying it's a bunch of lies. Of course. Tony told People , "I love my wife. She's the best thing in my life, and I have never been happier." Longoria, who took Parker's name this year after their July nuptials, added, "Tony has been nothing short of the perfect husband."
Yeah Eva, but what about sperm on your face? I give this marriage another year, TOPS!
Tuesday, December 11th 2007
No Royal Wedding
There's a little rumor going around that Queen Latifah is about to marry her personal trainer and so-called girlfriend, Jeanette Jenkins. Queen has never admitted that she's dating Jeanette. She's never admitted that she likes the cat.
Queen told the Chicago Sun-Times that there isn't going to be a wedding.
'When you're famous these days, it's just part of the deal -- unfortunately. People will make up all sorts of things that are not true. . . . There ain't gonna be no wedding.''
I guess I better return the tool set I bought them from Sears. Lesbos like tools, right? Queen didn't deny her relationship with Jeanette, just the wedding. Don't marry the woman Queen. Besides it's easier to finger bang without a pesky ring on your finger getting in the way.
Monday, November 19th 2007
Jessica Seinfeld Couldn't Be More Annoying
Jessica Seinfeld went on "The View" this morning to whore out that cook book for kids where she puts spinach in brownies and other gross shit like that. Barbara Walters asked Jessica about reports that she stole her recipes from another book by Missy Chase Lapine that was published a few months before hers. Jessica was accused of plagiarism.
She said, "I can understand why she would be upset. You know, first of all when you have a huge success, you know this, people tend to look for the cracks, anything that would break you down a little bit. There's always negative where there's positive. This was such an immediate success, this book, that I think people were looking for things to pick a part, but I can understand why she would've been frustrated.
She did a book with a similar topic a few months earlier and it must have been hard for her to see how quickly my book took off. I never saw her book or her recipes. Never as a person would I do something like what I was accused of doing. I mean, I really didn't need to do this book."
Yes Jessica, because rich people do not lie, cheat or steal. There's no reason for them to. Rich people are angels and only do honest things.
I just want to take her nasty ass chickpea chocolate chip cookies and shove em down her fug throat!
Visit The Huffington Post to see the video
Friday, November 16th 2007
True Lies
Alicia Keys is one of the few people on this planet that doesn't completely annoy me. I wouldn't say I'm a fan, but I enjoy what she's giving me. I always figured Alicia for a poon diver, but she's denying that shit. The denial!
She's sick of the gay rumors and claims she has a boyfriend. When asked if she was lesbionic, she said, “I’m as straight as they come.”
Yeah, me too. I'm straight. Straight-up HOMO.
Friday, November 16th 2007
Lance Is Not Boinking A Troll
Lance Armstrong has denied that he's dating Ashley Olsen. It's been rumored that the nut and the troll have been getting down and dirty.
He told Page Six they are just friends, "We have hung out amongst other friends, and she strikes me as a nice, smart lady."
Lance's ex, Sheryl Crow, also responded to the rumors that she thought Lance dating a troll was gross. The horse's mouth said, "Lance and I are friends. I have a lot of respect for him and what he does in the world of cancer. What he does in his personal life . . . is none of my business. Nor would I ever comment on it."
Bitch please! You know you thought it was gross. We all did! Go gallop into the sunset now. I'm through with you and your lies.
33 sec ago
1 min 10 sec ago
1 min 34 sec ago
1 min 39 sec ago
1 min 47 sec ago
2 min 14 sec ago
2 min 35 sec ago
5 min 57 sec ago
6 min 36 sec ago
6 min 50 sec ago