La Pequeña

This is what I've been waiting for! La Pequeña Brit Brit was on my short list along with La Pequeña Spaghetti Cat and La Pequeña Charo. Hearing La Pequeña say "coochie coochie" would make my ass-cooch go into seizures.

La Pequeña went vintage Brit Brit by bumping it to "Baby One More Time" with some help by a couple of dudes called SomePatrolMen. Sadly, Machine didn't make a cameo as Chester Cheetah.

Yes, this shit is more of La Pequeña humping walls and popping our goose pimples with her "I eat fetuses" grin, but she's wearing little puffies in her hair! And she kept her crotch berries to herself this time. But only this time!

(Thanks osobuco)

La Pequeña has a new video, but this time she kept her baby nalgas and nippies covered! She's playing some dude named Leonardo Farkas. According to Wikipedia, he's some kind of businessman from Chile who is known for giving away money on the street to strangers. He's apparently considering running for the President of Chile next year. Obviously, he should be President for the simple fact that he has a truly gorgeous mullet that looks like it was made from the pube bushes of the angels.

La Pequeña's wig looks like it was made from the polyester balls that Kim from "The Real Housewives of Atlanta's" wig coughs up. Even though this video needs more bare trannyness, I was still entertained thanks to the use of the theme from "The Greatest American Hero." That song cures all. Whenever I'm having trouble passing a butt nugget, I play that song and out it comes!

And if you're disappointed because you were expecting to see a half-naked midget tranny in this newest La Pequeña video, I've posted some pictures of Xtina from last night's American Mess Awards to hold you over. It's pretty much the same thing.

UPDATE: I forgot to add the video of Xtina's performance from last night, because I blacked it out. Xtina did a 7-minute long medley of her greatest hits. 7-minutes in HELL! She sounded like a deaf lion going into labor while having a seizure.

La Pequeña Sarah Palin!! This shit can't get any better. This whole video is set to Dolly Parton's "9 to 5." AND La Pequeña is wearing a bootleg Baywatch bikini. This is what dreams are made of!

If you can only watch a little bit of this video, slap yourself with a little person. After you do that, skip to the 55 second mark and watch La Pequeña Sarah Palin say "I don't want war, I love peace" before stroking her lady bulge.

We can all shut down our computers for the week. The internet has done its job.

Thanks Mari

La Pequeña has returned to us! I was beginning to think she fell down the toilet or was eaten by a house cat or something. Thankfully, none of those things happened, so she was able to give us this amazing video. La Pequena Hillary Clinton is back and this time she's pissed at America for not giving her the nomination! She's so fucking angry that she's turned into La Pequeña Hillary Hulk! She's like a cute, tiny, grouchy pickle person!

This is what the real Hillary probably looks like when she tries to pass a butt nugget. Or when Bill touches her private area.

Make sure you watch the whole thing, because Machine makes an appearance at the end. He picks up La Pequeña Hillary Hulk and holds on to her lil' Henery Hawk chest. It's intimate and a made me feel a little uncomfortable.

Thanks Emily

Remember that story out of Chile about The Subway Goddess who entertained commuters by rubbing her punane on the filthy ass subway pole? Well, La Pequeña has paid homage to her in this latest masterpiece! At first, I thought this was Hayden Panatroll's new music video.

La Pequeña goes on location to strip for a group of unsuspecting commuters. They seriously don't give a fuck! The audacity! People would pay thousands of dollars to see this kind of entertainment and they act like this is a daily occurrence. Um...it's not every day you see a sexy troll on a pole.

Go grab an extra pair of panties, because you're going to need it. This shit will turn on the waterworks. Wait...I think I just saw baby nut. I can't.

Thanks Joni

The title says it all. I really thought La Pequeña outdid herself by playing Ingrid Betancourt in her last masterpiece YouTube, but I was wrong. Mother Teresa is the role she was born to play! This is the role she will win her first of many Oscars.

You know Mia Michaels choreographed the little saintly jig. I had to hold my breath while La Pequeña lifted up her tablecloth, because I'm still not ready to see her real la pequeña. Actually, I don't think that's a tablecloth she's wearing. It's a napkin.

You better watch this shit until the end. The finale will make you weep until you cum.

Thanks Monica

La Pequeña better submit her newest video to Oscar voters, because this is some award-winning shit! This lil' bitch channels Ingrid Betancourt and everything in this YouTube is top-notch! La Pequena broke the bank with this masterpiece. You know this shit was directed by Steven Spielberg.

I had no idea who Ingrid Betancourt was, so I wikied this ho:

Ingrid Betancourt Pulecio is a Colombian-French politician, former senator and anti-corruption activist. Betancourt was kidnapped by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) on February 23, 2002, and rescued from captivity six and a half years later in Operation Jaque, along with 14 other hostages (three Americans and 11 Colombian policemen and soldiers), by Colombian security forces on July 2, 2008, who tricked the FARC into believing they were a leftist non-governmental organization.[2][3]

In all, she was held captive for 2,321 days after being taken while campaigning for the Colombian presidency as a Green. She had decided to campaign in an area of high guerrilla presence in spite of warnings from the government, police and military not to do so. While her kidnapping received media coverage worldwide this was particularly so in France due to her dual French citizenship, and the government of France participated as a facilitator for the release of Betancourt and all prisoners held by the FARC guerrillas.

DAMN! I'm telling you, the Best Actress Oscar has been wrapped up. Meryl Streep, Julianne Moore and all those other weepy ass hos better have their movies pushed back to 2009, because they are done. La Pequeña is taking it. The Academy will have to make a special mini-Oscar for her hot ass.

Shit, even Hilary Duff is going to be nominated for her contribution.

Seriously though, it took me a while to realize La Pequeña wasn't playing Bindi Irwin.

Thanks Dan

La Pequeña has returned with a new wig, dress and song. Damn! Who knew they made such hot wigs for children?! This shit was probably a Bratz children's wig and La Pequeña made it her own. She has serious beauty skills. And when is this sexy slut going to get her own TV show, movie, record deal, cosmetics line and......sex tape?

Wait a tiny dick minute! Mini-Me is going to need a new co-star for the sequel to his sex tape. Just imagine Mini-Me and La Pequeña bumping baby nalgas! No, don't imagine that, unless you don't want to sleep for the next week or two. Culo! Culo!

Thanks Opiedog

La Pequeña Hillary Clinton is back and she's not happy! She's also nekkid! The American flag has never looked this hot. Who cares what I have to say about this hot shit! Grab some KY Jelly and press play! Prepare to be turned on.

The past couple of days I have felt like moldy caca. I've blamed allergies, but now I know what the real cause of it was. I've been going through massive La Pequeña withdrawals! Thankfully, I've gotten my fix, because La Pequeña has posted another video, a homage to Shania Twain!

This is just the pick me up Shania needs since she's splitting from her husband and all. People reports that another woman might have come between Shania and her husband of 14 years, Mutt Lange! He's reportedly been having an affair with the manager of the couple’s chateau in Switzerland. That affair will be over soon once Matt gets a look at La Pequeña Shania Twain. She's just like the real thing, but with something extra.

There's also a La Pequeña nip slip AND Machine is on guitar. This video rules. I'm still waiting for La Pequeña Phoebe Price and La Pequeña Brit Brit Spears.