Chrissy Crocker

No Brit Brit comeback would be complete without any appearance by her most famous and loyal fan: CHRISSY CROCKER (The "Leave Britney Aloooooone" Dude for those of you who don't fuck with names)!! As Brit Brit's new song rises up the charts like your cholesterol after eating a plate of Cheetosquiles, Chris is whipping out the video for his single "Freak of Nature."

This shit is like the bastard love child of Xtina's "Not Myself Tonight" mess and The Robin Byrd Show. In Chrissy's video, he tames a hot piece while looking like a dominatrix you might find on a Craigslist ad under the subject: "Former Rock of Love Bus star available for out calls only..."

Even if this shit doesn't do it for you, you have to admit that it's sort of nice seeing what Heidi Montag's original face looked like.

via Feast of Fun

Chrissy Crocker and his curly-haired friend are giving Heidi and Spencer a run for their "piece of trash" money! It took me a few coffee swigs to realize this WAS NOT Heidi and Spencer. Heidi's adam's apple is bigger, so that gave it away.

Chrissy is quickly becoming the main bitch of Robertson Blvd. Phoebe Price better step it up. Actually, PP and Chrissy should join forces and work the stroll together. Shameless attention whores need to stick together.

UPDATE: Chrissy's mystery friend is Cameron Michaels, a power bottom porn star from RandyBlue.com. Click here to see his "work." NSFW! Duh. (Thanks John)

It wouldn't be a holiday without one of Spencer and Heidi's totally candid photo shoots! Heidi brought her mother into the charade for a special Mother's Day shoot yesterday. I'm sorry, but I live for their amazing photo shoots. They should open up a business and help others look totally natural on special days.

I can't wait for their "Day of the Dead" photo shoot. Hopefully, they'll pose in a casket and we can bury them for good. Wait, then who will bring us these gems?

And it wouldn't be a Heidi post without pictures of her gorgeous twin sister, Chrissy Crocker.