Step Off

Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's a giant joint floating down from heaven with Bob Marley riding on top of it. Breathe it in and hold it! Bob Marley is here to gently touch the fool who said Spencer Twatt is the "King of Weed" and free him of THE GIFT. I'm talking about the gift that is getting stoned. Seriously, the giant used anal bead who said that should never ever be allowed to feel the warm embrace of the green cloud ever again. IT'S A FUCKING FARCE (copyright: Kanye West).

The moron told Star Magazine that the breathing maxi-pad is a major pot head, "He was smoking it every day. He always had a big bag and would share with everyone. He was the King of Weed!”

Twatty also had a problem with dolls, specifically Valium, and went to a rehab facility in Arizona to break the habit. When he busted out, he went right back to the good shit. The friend added, "One day, he walked in on a party and pulled out a bag of pot and said, ‘'We are soooooo getting stoned! No one thought much of it, because at least he was staying away from pills."

Twatty's obviously not smoking up enough, because he's still a major asshole. Lube up and sit on your bong, Twatty. Maybe that will help. Ugh. Can you imagine smoking out with this giant pube bush? He's the reason why some people call weed a "gateway drug." Because after a few seconds with him, you'll realize that weed isn't enough and you'll start injecting your eyeballs with schmack.

Ryan Gaycrest already has a radio show, a TV job on E!, American Idol and now comes word that he may violate our TV screens even more. The Scoop reports that Gaycrest is in talks to replace Larry King later next year. CNN must really despise this country.

Gaycrest regularly fills in when Larry goes and gets his heart restarted. A sourcie said that Gaycrest is looking to make a serious change in his career, “He's so serious about his career, but like anyone, he wants it to evolve. Hosting ‘Larry King’ would be perfect for him." If he wants a serious change, might I suggest early retirement? I'm sure there's a deserted island somewhere with his name on it.

A spokeswhore for Gaycrest would not comment.

Don't you fret, this disaster will never take place. Larry King is never retiring, because he will live on forever. Zombies don't die.

Thanks Mike

Adrien Brody is slowly melting my tar heart by continuing to have a fraudulent relationship with that Elsa chick. I have nothing against the broad, but she better step off if she doesn't want her face on a milk carton. That gorgeous Afghan Hound belongs to me and not her. The tattoo on my nalgas proves it. Not really, but if Adrien wanted me to ink my foreskin with his initials, I'd do it. Ugh, they are totally going to have beautiful Afghan Hound puppies together. Bringin' on the heartbreak...

Here's Adrien with homewrecker at a party for Conde Nasty Traveler in NYC on Thursday night. I've also added some Milo Ventimiglia, because I know you whores get sticky for him. Oh and this post would not be complete without Lady Miss Kier.